today i told sky something interesting...i told him tt to many...life is e acquisition of things...both tangible and intangible...some ppl want money, fame, love, power....anything...and to some...life gives them e opportunity to give things to someone they love so tt e loved one may acquire wat e giver feels e loved one needs...wat do u want to acquire most of all rite now???

right now...i want a job in sch...so tt i can teach and also help e choir...but shit...i just realised something...since david told me tt tues is prac...means tt it will clash with my tuition...since tues is prac......wed prob not prac...therefore...most prob thurs prac bahz...then die...coz i giving tuition to tt kid tues and thurs...and tt wld mean tt i either fix a diff time slot...or teach for a month then quit or forfeit a hundred bucks...i dun want to teach for a month then quit lehz..so irresponsible...later i hai tt kid's future...better tt i forfeit e money then...my choir's worth more than a hundred bucks definitely..lol...

okie...besides e job...i just want tt someone to be happy...=)

besides tt...nothing else i want to acquire...realised tt i've been real happy recently...i think tt's coz i have a goal...destination...aim. tt's him and e sch. =) i think tt personally i'm not someone who's obsessed abt getting e things she wants...i just want to give it my best shot and show tt i have done my part and see if fate decrees i have it...after all God noes best...he sees e whole pic...while i can only see a much smaller world....i've always believed tt a small action will cause great reprecussions....for example...me telling Y tt i like d....may seem quite a micro thing...but maybe Y will realise this other gal near him more...maybe they will get married...then have kids...tt's e addition of Life already...maybe on their honeymoon they will drive recklessly and injure someone...tt's already someone i dunno...but maybe tt someone with e injury will be like terry fox and change e world???? Life is unexpected....we nvr noe if our actions end up in good or evil...prob both but we will nvr noe which outweighs e other...so yupz...dun take life so seriously...after all...it's just a short play...maybe when we go to heaven...we will realise how many lives we affect unknowingly...but not our fault really coz we will nvr noe...only God noes e magnitude of our small actions...of small changes in our lives....but of coz...we still must think thru our actions...as they directly affect ppl we noe as well..but we can only consider tt far......our world is tt small....our realm of knowledge even smaller...so i choose to live with hope...hope tt wat i wish for will come true...hope tt ppl i love will be happy...but if my wishes do not come true...despite my tears...i will understand tt perhaps if it did....it will have adverse consequences i cannot imagine with my limited existence and feel consoled tt God forbid tt from happening by decreeing otherwise...and feel consoled in e fact tt perhaps...e prevention of an action or change prevented e death or moral degradation of another fellow human being or even of many other humans...and seek joy in e fact tt i am prevented from unknowingly bearing these sins of cause and consequence...=)

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