on msn...someone (someone who happens to be on my list but i dunno who...) has an interesting nick: 'It's never easy to understand why memories hold our hands, but people let it go'......

been talking to ming and sam these days...well....everyone has their own principles...beliefs etc....and we can only live our lives by those beliefs...whether they lead us to happiness or sadness....at least we stuck by them....sam&ming sam&ming sam&ming...even e names sound nice toghether..LOL.....i guess tt life really is as complicated or as simple as u want it to be....like if two ppl love each other...isn't it gd to be together?? but when u factor in things like fear, insecurity etc......ppl just forget to live for e moment......

i asked ting last nite...wat will she do if her bf breaks with her...she said dunno..see how......in contrast....ting thinks too lil..LOL..but isn't tt gd in a way....things are a lot simplier then.....even as an onlooker i think more than ting lorz...i will think abt wat if they get married..unlikely tt e guy can support e family by himself...unlikely tt they will be able to afford a house anytime before 30 even if they pool all their money together and work real hard..etc......then i realised tt ting wld nvr think abt all these.....coz she lives for e moment.....even if they break...tt's in e future and let e future take care of itself.....

talking to sam and ming made me think abt rebounds too......there are ppl who truly live a life of rebounds..until at e end of e day....they realised tt they only loved once....e 1st.....e rest were just a transfer of feelings......i guess tt so far.....i am one of these ppl....i realised tt i have a very simple wish.....i just want someone who will hug me really tightly and ask me to forget corn and love him wholeheartedly......in my quest of finding such a person.....i tried to seek e most perfect ppl....guys tt no gal will say no to.....tt it will be unthinkable if i were to say tt i still prefer corn.......

but i failed. when i had problems......i wld tell it to so many ppl....yet only one can influence me and console me and rejoice with me e way corn can. yet.....i nvr think simply......and hence, i give up on a r/s tt i can only reach a dead end....i try to tell myself tt i shld be studying now.....but i can't.....i've frankly only studied once in my life...and tt was for 'O's......tt was not for myself......tt was for corn.....i nvr learnt how to study for studying sake.....hence, i nvr can study......i dun wish to live thru life with intelligence alone...i want to put in a fair bit of hard work......but i can't.

there are many things which i just cannot do...my only motivation now is to get to uni....live a life i want......meet someone whom i really love....finish sch, get a job i love.....and after tt......when e dust settles......i will ask myself again.....wat do i do from there.

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