i found myself staring str....i haven't started making a single star for HIM yet...i realised tt i prob won't see him on e actual day..i have plans...but all seem so romantic..too romantic..now...i opened his msn window..but i didn't msg him...i stared at him display pic...this nice waxed heart shape thing tt he dripped on e table...it made me ponder who's weighing on his mind and it made me realised tt prob...i have such a neglible place in his heart he wld only call me when he needs help..hohoho..not like tt's bad...it's better than him not calling me when he needs help...but i wish tt he wld just call me for a chat now and then...drop me an sms now and then..let me noe tt i am not merely 9 numbers on his phonebk but a breathing living thing tt wishes to speak to him...

besides e HIM thing..i've been thinking abt some other stuff too...sigh..can't write here also..LOL...yah...it all made me realise how much probs everyone has..but oh well..we grow thru probs

back to HIM..well.....my only comfort is in telling myself tt he's e wrong shoe size for me and i'm quite sure abt it as well....i noe tt i can walk away from him...if i can walk away from corn..i can walk away from anyone...i have no idea y i fall for ppl who blow hot and cold on me...it's just crazy...and hmmm...tonite i miss corn again...hope to meet up with him soon..there's always xmas..tt's y i love xmas...i tell everyone i love xmas coz i always have a sleepover with ting qi shan...but e other reason is tt i will meet corn and exchange gifts..there's only one thing i will regret with corn...regret not talking him str tt i love him and asking him how he feels abt me....but i noe i will regret it more if do tt....e image tt i have of me and my future bf?? i can fit corn comfortably in.........maybe tt's y i love him so much..loved him so much...i still do..some things nvr change i guess..........

if i can only have one wish come thru this lifetime..i will still wish tt corn will get married to e person he will be happiest with....then after tt..i'll start praying it's me...i dun want to wish for him if he's going to regret one day tt he loved me...i rather he regret not having gotten attached to me............i want so much to sms corn now...but i dunno wat to talk to him abt also....sigh...i think i will make him e same prez as e one i'm making HIM for xmas......though it seems more of a bday prez..LOL..i have so many wishes for corn...

0 Comments