okie..let's start with a weird dream...can only rem 2 images from it...first one......my hair started turning blond..and e blond parts fell off..tt was scary. e other image is tt i had medication and on e label it said tt if i end up eating 20kg of e medicine..i will grow to e size of 3 davids...i was so scared in e dream coz i tot i really will grow into tt size...it was freaky. LOL....anyway......here are e analysis of e images:

-If you dream of seeing a woman with blonde hair, or if you dreamed of having blonde hair (when you don't in real life), you will be a true friend to your girlfriends.

Medicine
To dream of giving or receiving medicine is very powerful. Pay attention to this dream, which is giving you important spiritual clues for achieving peace and happiness.

Pill
To see a pill in your dream, forecasts the return of your inner harmony. It is a period of healing and an end to those negative ideas in your mind.

wanted to blog yest..but tblog was down...maybe God din want me to think too much abt e wall..sigh...but since i saved e blog....here it goes:

wait! let me start off with a nice quote from my sunday movie... 'ai yi ge ren ai tai sheng, xing hui zui. hen yi ge ren tai jiu, xing hui sui' 'dan deng dai hai shi dui tong ku de'...nice rite?? LOL and 'ni zhong you wo, wo zhong you ni'...all from

i'm feeling funny coz today...H asked me if she cld marry Y and i felt so shocked...i din noe wat to say. my first tot was does she noe something?? then i asked myself... and Y together rite?? so i said 'y not?? of coz anything's poss' then i felt guilty like i betrayed Y.......i dunno......then after tt......during geog..i smsed Y somemore..and we were having a sms conversation..think it was really obvious. there was an awkward silence betwn me n and h after lect. anyway....i think i pissed Y off too...coz i told him e H thing and he asked me to tell her tt she'll meet someone else along e way and i told him it's not my job and later she thinks i'm interested and whack me then how. then after tt....usu he type sms to me..he laffs when he types it...but this rep this time had an lol inside...but his face changed when he read my sms...and i saw it...and after tt....he walked out. walked out. then i felt so cock. i realised tt i implied tt i dun want ppl to think tt i'm interested in him. which implies somemore tt i'm not interested in him. so so so cock. since when i become so cock.

u asked me if i like him?? my ans is....wat's e pt of pursuing something tt u noe will not last. so wat if i get attached to him?? also will break wat...not like we will get married rite. tt's like imposs lahz...e odds are against us and i choose not to climb this mt. a child will say tt she loves e toy and wants it...as e child grows up she begins to understand tt even if she loves e toy..she may not want to have it. pursuing a r/s with Y will be like a race against breaking up........at e end of e race...we will face a wall and tt wall has a sign tt says religion. break-up will catch up no matter how fast we run. wat's e pt. we'll just end up facing a wall no matter how well we understand each other..how much we like each other..so wat...looking into e future, i see a wall. today....on e bus hm...i asked myself e qn of whether i liked Y..i nvr asked myself tt coz e ans won't make a diff really.....i asked myself tt qn...no ans came..but tears came. coz in e end i realised tt it will boils down to a wall so how does it matter.

at 15, i saw a wall...and i told myself.....if we work hard enuf...we can bring down e wall...i convinced myself tt we cld...if we just work hard enuf. at 16 i lost to tt wall...for a yr...i hovered outside tt wall...banging on it...looking for a trapdoor...thinking abt how i used to run noeing u were somewhere else...running in e same direction as me but with a diff route...then bang. i see a wall...e wall i knew i wld see..and reality sank in. e wall tt blocked me from my happiness.........now at 18...i knew i wld run into a wall...a even higher wall than e one i knew at 15.....i'm disheartened...this is not a race i want to run even if i run it with u........coz e only diff is tt in e end......e heartbreak will be worse losing to another wall. so to Y, all i can say is i give up coz i dun want to hurt him. i dun want my eventual gift to him to be e rejection he is so afraid of.