zzz
09.18.04 (12:20 am) [edit]
i feel like losing my voice......as i sing and sing and sing...i feel so sad...i'm like singing from eng to canton to chi..singing louder and louder...no one complaining...i'm e only one hm...neighbours must think i'm crazy by now.....canton now..deng le you deng......i feel like scolding da...so stupid...rite now his nick is tt he's not someone u can just pick up when u want and dump when u dun.....i want to tell him tt it's always better to be loved than to love...then i ask myself if i ever lived up to tt..and i realise tt i nvr did...er rubin..warn u first..u won't want to read this..later traumatise u....i'm replaying e canton song.......i deng le you deng...wei le ni...dan shi....wo kan...wo yin gai fang qi le....i rem hearing somewhere tt if there is noise from e ceiling..means got ghost...recently my bedrm ceiling got noise wor...scary...i think e ghost see me also scared...i always sing sad sad songs...dun think e ghost can ever learn to move on...LOL..prob a sad ghost thanks to me...rem my xin bu liao qing song?? still keep singing it...LOL...forgot who tell me sound like ghost song...anyway i can't get myself to study (so wat's new??) and yah...i am experiencing wat H exp last wk.....too tired to stay awake yet too awake to zzz...dunno lehz...as i sit here eyes closing..then i off e com..climb into bed and cannot zzz......got prob ahz.....ceiling still got sound..hey ghost~~ move on lahz..y do u want to be struck with me?? and ghost also better than me can...no exams..can visit whoever u want to visit...not like me.......i'm singing yong qi now.......suddenly think of weiqi coz both got qi....exams faster over lehz...i want see qi.....=(......i realise tt my hair is kinda long now...i will cut it when i make a decision.....lucky i'm not exactly wishy washy..if not my hair will be like rapunzel now
today......i spent e morn thinking abt wat i want to learn how to cook..will look for recipes soon...since can't study anyway...in e afternoon..i realised tt e list of dishes i came up with seemed to be based on an imagined hm with me and him. welll.....since rite on. i have kinda given up hope (actually kinda given up last nite)...i can go burn e paper later. i realised something...on my mp3player i din want to hear this song so i kept scrolling back to e same old songs (which explains y i only sang 1 eng 1 canton and 1 chi so far).........and i realised something......i always scroll back...in life...coz i fear moving fwd coz there is something there tt i dun want to feel.....tt is y!! great realisation...must do something abt it..currently 5.12....waiting for 7 to come..got yu tian tu long ji~~ *swoons*.....sigh........faster let my 'A's be over!!!!!!!! i dun ever want to see da again...walking at e same spot........i want to write a bk after 'A's too........listening to another song now..'don't speak' recommended by luthfi...sigh~~ shld i call miss jean yet?? feel like lehz...i want use my mic and earphone thing..i've nvr used it before..looks cool.......sigh~~~~~~~ i think i realise my prob...lil things make me crazily happy and lil things make me crazily sad too....................'so pls stop explaining. dun tell me coz it hurts.' so sianz.........................shld i msg bro?? LOL...he's my latest bowl of soup (comfort food)....i currently have 1 bro..2 sis...but alicia really piss me off sometimes too......can't take it sometimes........think i got low tolerance lvl bahz..depends on who's e other person....some pple...i can tolerate even if they give me crap. da says i can nvr accept him..i came up with all kinds of scenarios of things he COULD have done..e worse so far is tt he raped his grandma..LOL..which is highly unlikely...but i realise tt i accept it as long as he doesn't do it anymore..LOL..this is hilarious...i can't even accept it when ming leaves his finished drinks on e table..tt time i helped him throw e drink away and scolded him. happy now! listening to happy song 'accidentally in love'~ anyway.......fingers pain..think i play too much pc today.....i really dunno wat i'm doing lahz...i think i quite attitude Y recently...i'm damn weird...even i dun understand myself...and i realised something...i'm not high-maintenance..but da cannot maintain me..or rather he doesn't wish to. or rather his phone (which is spoilt currently) did not allow him to...okie...i want call sis!! i shall call at 6??? set! currently still very grateful to bro (will be grateful until he sends me another porn webbie by mistake)...coz yest when everyone walked out of my life...he walked in...tt's wat frens are supposed to do. and i still miss yuli~~ i shall msg her now..LOL..this is gonna sound damn les..i said 'hey yuli...i miss u' LOL!!!!!! but nvm lahz..tt's just me....tt's wat i said to corn too lahz!! until now still yet to rep...2 days le..think he dun u/s youngster lingo? and funny...yuli rep so fast...she ask me if something is wrong and says tt i can call her...LOL!!! means i can only miss her when something goes wrong in my life?? wah liew..damn sad case....okie...tt's y i say must be nice to yuli~~ it's 5.25....i cld talk to yuli for half an hr...then call sis..then bathe then watch yu tian tu long ji noe!! tempting..no 'study' in e time table lehz..but wat to do...LOL.......listening to ming ming hen ai ni now..........makes me think of ji'en...funny...really dunno wat happened betwn chiangmai till now..but nvm lahz...feel like slacking today...tt's how i feel everyday which explains y i only studied tourism of all my geog syllables =X...okie...yuli asked me how's e studying..tt's a long story..shall call her now..i love yuli!! (not in e les way..thankew)
today......i spent e morn thinking abt wat i want to learn how to cook..will look for recipes soon...since can't study anyway...in e afternoon..i realised tt e list of dishes i came up with seemed to be based on an imagined hm with me and him. welll.....since rite on. i have kinda given up hope (actually kinda given up last nite)...i can go burn e paper later. i realised something...on my mp3player i din want to hear this song so i kept scrolling back to e same old songs (which explains y i only sang 1 eng 1 canton and 1 chi so far).........and i realised something......i always scroll back...in life...coz i fear moving fwd coz there is something there tt i dun want to feel.....tt is y!! great realisation...must do something abt it..currently 5.12....waiting for 7 to come..got yu tian tu long ji~~ *swoons*.....sigh........faster let my 'A's be over!!!!!!!! i dun ever want to see da again...walking at e same spot........i want to write a bk after 'A's too........listening to another song now..'don't speak' recommended by luthfi...sigh~~ shld i call miss jean yet?? feel like lehz...i want use my mic and earphone thing..i've nvr used it before..looks cool.......sigh~~~~~~~ i think i realise my prob...lil things make me crazily happy and lil things make me crazily sad too....................'so pls stop explaining. dun tell me coz it hurts.' so sianz.........................shld i msg bro?? LOL...he's my latest bowl of soup (comfort food)....i currently have 1 bro..2 sis...but alicia really piss me off sometimes too......can't take it sometimes........think i got low tolerance lvl bahz..depends on who's e other person....some pple...i can tolerate even if they give me crap. da says i can nvr accept him..i came up with all kinds of scenarios of things he COULD have done..e worse so far is tt he raped his grandma..LOL..which is highly unlikely...but i realise tt i accept it as long as he doesn't do it anymore..LOL..this is hilarious...i can't even accept it when ming leaves his finished drinks on e table..tt time i helped him throw e drink away and scolded him. happy now! listening to happy song 'accidentally in love'~ anyway.......fingers pain..think i play too much pc today.....i really dunno wat i'm doing lahz...i think i quite attitude Y recently...i'm damn weird...even i dun understand myself...and i realised something...i'm not high-maintenance..but da cannot maintain me..or rather he doesn't wish to. or rather his phone (which is spoilt currently) did not allow him to...okie...i want call sis!! i shall call at 6??? set! currently still very grateful to bro (will be grateful until he sends me another porn webbie by mistake)...coz yest when everyone walked out of my life...he walked in...tt's wat frens are supposed to do. and i still miss yuli~~ i shall msg her now..LOL..this is gonna sound damn les..i said 'hey yuli...i miss u' LOL!!!!!! but nvm lahz..tt's just me....tt's wat i said to corn too lahz!! until now still yet to rep...2 days le..think he dun u/s youngster lingo? and funny...yuli rep so fast...she ask me if something is wrong and says tt i can call her...LOL!!! means i can only miss her when something goes wrong in my life?? wah liew..damn sad case....okie...tt's y i say must be nice to yuli~~ it's 5.25....i cld talk to yuli for half an hr...then call sis..then bathe then watch yu tian tu long ji noe!! tempting..no 'study' in e time table lehz..but wat to do...LOL.......listening to ming ming hen ai ni now..........makes me think of ji'en...funny...really dunno wat happened betwn chiangmai till now..but nvm lahz...feel like slacking today...tt's how i feel everyday which explains y i only studied tourism of all my geog syllables =X...okie...yuli asked me how's e studying..tt's a long story..shall call her now..i love yuli!! (not in e les way..thankew)