dear blog
08.31.04 (1:07 am) [edit]
dear blog..
i realised something today. it doesn't matter how much u love someone. in e end...ironically it doesn't...when someone loves u..tt matters more...then seriously..sometimes it doesn't make a diff (except maybe a slight dent in my heart and a slight boost of my ego). Fine. back to e topic...well...i realised tt today coz i decided last nite tt u seem to tell ur god-sis more things than me...liddat......shld i be ur sis instead?? betwn having u and helping u......i choose to help u. maybe some of u will think i'm crazy but i doubt i stand much of a chance anyway. i tot u din like me. at all. and was feeling abit down today...but okie lahz...in e end...we talked some cock abt peer support. then we makan for peer support talk somemore cock and then u gave me tt transparency thing which was kinda nice though u did for like 10 other pple..but well..top 20?? i hope. dream. wish. anyway..i will treasure it. real stupid to keep it but it will remind me of u..coz u are e only person in this universe who calls me kit one. so okie lorz...will rem u by it. and i like e way u offer to take my notes hm though u din have to and u had no bag to shove it into. i love. ur helpfulness.
to those who think tt my life only consist of him. u're wrong. today teachers day a bit sianz diaoz most parts...i tot e isabella woman was quite pro though..can sing and dance...tt's e nice part of e show lahz...yunus sand damn well too...this time..dee din need to tell me tt she's melting. i tried. so hard to harden my heart. but okie lahz..i admit i melted. but then again..tt's a completely diff matter..just looking at e gals in my class...i really feel tt i cannot and will not like him. serious. just imagine them gushing at him screaming..running there to take photos. like. i guess i felt extra. i guess tt i really do have a part in his life. and i guess tt i really still do want tt part. but i guess tt my fishtank theory still applies. i will not be a fish in ur fishtank. i rather be his fren. a gd fren. i guess tt we are super gd frens now?? coz he tell me alot abt his private life tt prob hajngang won't find out in this life but i wish. i had e same r/s with da. even if i can't be with him..let me be his listening ear. tt's all i ask for and tt's all i'm denied of.
hmmmmmmm..talking in circles..realised tt i'm back to e same person. let's talk abt sis! well...today sis punched me lahz..coz i called her ms jean. LOL...crazy sis..but glad tt she likes my notebk...wonder y all my r/s all undergrd one. very funny. all e way from corn to y da jae..all undergrd..not tt i live a split life. but just. weird. dun really like it..when i seem to have so many secrets. when in e end...i dunno y i bother and have to hide things lahz. anyway...i realised tt i'm talking abt a sub pt of da. anyway!! most imptly...sis must take care. sis quite cock pain one lahz...as bad or worse than me...but really. life is short. love it. cherish it and most imptly...live it.
i realised something today. it doesn't matter how much u love someone. in e end...ironically it doesn't...when someone loves u..tt matters more...then seriously..sometimes it doesn't make a diff (except maybe a slight dent in my heart and a slight boost of my ego). Fine. back to e topic...well...i realised tt today coz i decided last nite tt u seem to tell ur god-sis more things than me...liddat......shld i be ur sis instead?? betwn having u and helping u......i choose to help u. maybe some of u will think i'm crazy but i doubt i stand much of a chance anyway. i tot u din like me. at all. and was feeling abit down today...but okie lahz...in e end...we talked some cock abt peer support. then we makan for peer support talk somemore cock and then u gave me tt transparency thing which was kinda nice though u did for like 10 other pple..but well..top 20?? i hope. dream. wish. anyway..i will treasure it. real stupid to keep it but it will remind me of u..coz u are e only person in this universe who calls me kit one. so okie lorz...will rem u by it. and i like e way u offer to take my notes hm though u din have to and u had no bag to shove it into. i love. ur helpfulness.
to those who think tt my life only consist of him. u're wrong. today teachers day a bit sianz diaoz most parts...i tot e isabella woman was quite pro though..can sing and dance...tt's e nice part of e show lahz...yunus sand damn well too...this time..dee din need to tell me tt she's melting. i tried. so hard to harden my heart. but okie lahz..i admit i melted. but then again..tt's a completely diff matter..just looking at e gals in my class...i really feel tt i cannot and will not like him. serious. just imagine them gushing at him screaming..running there to take photos. like. i guess i felt extra. i guess tt i really do have a part in his life. and i guess tt i really still do want tt part. but i guess tt my fishtank theory still applies. i will not be a fish in ur fishtank. i rather be his fren. a gd fren. i guess tt we are super gd frens now?? coz he tell me alot abt his private life tt prob hajngang won't find out in this life but i wish. i had e same r/s with da. even if i can't be with him..let me be his listening ear. tt's all i ask for and tt's all i'm denied of.
hmmmmmmm..talking in circles..realised tt i'm back to e same person. let's talk abt sis! well...today sis punched me lahz..coz i called her ms jean. LOL...crazy sis..but glad tt she likes my notebk...wonder y all my r/s all undergrd one. very funny. all e way from corn to y da jae..all undergrd..not tt i live a split life. but just. weird. dun really like it..when i seem to have so many secrets. when in e end...i dunno y i bother and have to hide things lahz. anyway...i realised tt i'm talking abt a sub pt of da. anyway!! most imptly...sis must take care. sis quite cock pain one lahz...as bad or worse than me...but really. life is short. love it. cherish it and most imptly...live it.