i glued e jigsaw just now...i ended off e glueing with 'memories of love faded...love kit' and e last piece has lil dots all over.......teardrops...an open ending...both symbolic i guess...having high tea tmr at 4...orchard...better for everyone i guess...4 pm...not too late nor too early...no grouchy morns...no emotional nites...maybe tmr will be e concluding episode as i close this bk.....then y...y do i feel so queasy inside...have i not had enuf of this?? wat's e use of '...'s when there nvr can be an ans?? perhaps life is e search for anses...i hope to walk away truly...it is said tt it is in our weakness tt God is strong...i still rem e young me...sec 2 i think...being influenced by all e tv serials...praying for a chance to encounter a love tt will shake heaven and earth...hong hong lie lie were my exact words...but now...as i grow older...i guess tt all i want is something stable...i dun want to cont ard u...running ard in circles...roller coaster ride...i just want to have something sweet...i dun want high-class restaurants...high tree...i just want to sit at some jetty and look at e sunset or hold hands and eat ice cream from some roadside ice cream vendor...e only way to overcome a prob is not to go ard it...but to go thru it...so i want to see u tmr...and go thru it...whether i survive or not.....i dunno...really dun

as me and kaiting laff abt high tea now...my heart is breaking...high tea...................tt's not wat i want...tt was nvr wat i want...it's not 'not bad' as she says...i dun want...dun want to accept e fact tt corn's lifestyle is too diff from mine

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