...
i usually use my blog to help me think thru stuff...and i usually arrive at a clearer picture at the end of blogging and this really is a necessary post for me.
i got asked to go back to my jc to film a corporate video...e theme is 'i have a dream' (like how cheesy)...but oh well..that also means that i have to talk abt my dreams. so i gave it much thought and came up with a conclusion. actually quite glad for this opportunity coz it forces me to sit down and give the matter much thought.
i realized these past few days that what i REALLY want to do is to have a positive impact on the lives of others. of coz teaching does fulfil that. but as much as i like helping youths, talking to them, guiding them....i think that there are other groups out there that need my help such as the needy especially. So my dream is that as i go about my busy life...i can continue to remember my passion for volunteering and continue to work with such groups. Besides making a direct impact on society...i also hope to one day go into policy-making as it is also my dream to be able to devise policies that can help the more neglected segments of society improve their lives and feel a greater sense of self-worth.
yepz! that's e crux of it....not too long so that people don't fall asleep watching my segment of e corporate video of coz. i'm supposed to bring props if it can aid me...but well...i can't think of any props. i'm supposed to wear clothes that reflect my dream..but since i'm not intending to be an astronaut (and borrow a fish bowl to put over my head)..it's gonna be boring if i wear long-sleeve and black pants. LOL!! i cld dress damn lok kok and claim that i emphatize with the more disadvantaged sectors of society but that's stereotypical since ppl are disadvantaged coz they're emotionally needy too and i won't want to go into a sob story of my humble beginnings. -_-. so k ahz! i shall wear my jeans and a blouse. i could be elitist and sit in front of my straits times interview which has been converted into a plague at e concourse. or i could drama-mama and pretend to teach at a classroom then request for a fade-out and appear once more in casual clothes saying i want to be a volunteer then fade and wear a blazer or sth for policy-making but that's too lame! maybe i can do a typical SMU-ish thing and do some jumping on e sch field then sit on e grass with loose strands of hair flying in e breeze. LOL!!!!
*excited*
plus!!! i got an email today asking for help for an overnight trek!! so cool!! it's for youths who are still under GP which means that they have commited a petty crime and are undergoing probation/counselling. looking fwd to it.
lastly...have to say that i am still feeling quite sianz abt my parents who are still persistent in having me grad right after my bachelor. simply coz they want me to start giving them money. they've been not replacing all the damaged things in e house lahz and stressing that i should. super gosh. but in reaction to this adversity!! i have taken up more tuition!! HAR! i believe in myself. that i can do my hons and earn say at least $500 a mth so that i can pass them $200-$300 a mth and still replace things ard e house. hmph.
but suddenly my 3 pending grad trips all seeeeem so far away. maybe i'll have to do a grad trip to msia. -_-. maybe my dream can be that i want to go on a grad trip or even better..that my parents will be less assured that i can cope with the financial burdens that they throw upon me. thinking back as i spoke to rubz yest....yah...quite unthinkable that they would stop supporting their 16yr old kid who's still sch-ing. like callously not give her a single cent for sch and expect that she can settle the problem herself. but i like how i turned out i guess..have to credit my parents for their intended/unintended not-too-bad upbringing. maybe i should do e same to my kids in future!!!!!! muahahahhaha.