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i realize tt sometimes i can be so contradictory.
it all started coz of nu-er lahz! first...she told me tt it's ritch's bday...i was kinda trying to forget tt his bday was coming...and i was doing pretty well in tt..since i haven't been online so haven't been getting any friendster/facebk reminders or anything. and also coz i'm so bad with dates tt i can't rem e date of his bday anyway. i only rem e dates of a few ppls' bdays lahz. like mine, shan, ck, corn, rubz, yj, justin bro, dion.and tt's it. LOL!!!! my memory is tt bad. and of e list...3 are my pri sch classmates, 1 is someone whose bday i won't forget since it's one day after mine and also coz he's corn. then rubz dunno y i rem (honoured rite?!!) dion coz her bday is one mth after mine exactly. and justin coz his day is on e same day as yj my pri sch fren (10th oct).
so anyway i was just minding my own biz and doing ppts (as usual. it's really e ppt season...dunno y this sem so many presentations..though i like them. it's like getting CA pts for minimal work) and nu-er reminded me. which made me think whether to wish him happy bday. somehow...i shuo bu chu kuo. like...it seems so frivolous suddenly to just say those 2 words or graffiti those two words on facebk. coz beneath those two words...i have so much to say which i can't. i wanted to much to wish him..but i couldn't.
anyway...e other thing...nu-er's also e perpetuator...i'm like enjoying my retiree life now, studying when i want to, watching vcd/dvd when i want to...and she started psycho-ing me into doing eth again as APD. at least laogong wasn't this persistent. it really made me think abt wat kinda life i really want. true tt i like doing projects and stuff...true tt i like leading grps of people...but i'm enjoying life now just as much or perhaps even more. it's really very interesting tt i suddenly realize tt after giving 80% of my life to cca for so many yrs....i like e leisurely pace w/o all these projs. yet...e requests by all these frens whom i've worked so closely with like laogong, nu-er and papabird whom i love and respect created e ripples in me again. but i've nvr had so much project-inertia before in my life...makes me wonder if my engine will still run smoothly or if it'll stall halfway...
if i do take up e post...i foresee my hols flying away...i'll prob be looking thru proposals after proposals of prog. may have to deal with ppl who slack off. may have to sleepover in sch on some days. things tt sound so familiar yet so foreign. funny tt i shld feel like embracing them again. although i'm happier now w/o them. really funny.
what is most funny is tt i only realized in sem 5 tt i like studying, and tt i like doing nonsensical projects...coz i learn stuff. i nvr knew actually....