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i wld advise ritch to not read on...unless u want to hear abt politics.

as i speak over msn tonite to my dearest grp7....i realized some things that somehow tugged my heartstrings...when laogong disagreed with e slpover thing...i just felt my heart sink. coz i know him to well to noe that he wld impose his will on e others. we discussed as grp7, we voted, we trashed things out...but really...every PD has diff styles. and his is an authoritarian style. i dun discount that perhaps he noes best with his wealth of exp...but a proj is abt everyone taking ownership too. if all decisions are made by one person..there's no need for a comm but for a grp of lackeys mahz. i just felt sad tt T is living under his shadow and trying to effect his decisions when he himself doesn't agree fully with them. acting-pd dun mean acting as e pd himself mahz. but acting e role. sigh. and being unable to escape from laogong's shadow...i have no idea y T ask me wat i wld do for every situation tt arose, every issue that needed to be resolved and i realized tt in some warped way...he's been acting out wat i wld do. and he told laogong tt he dunno wat he cld have done/wld do coz i admitted that if i was in chr's position...i wld have agreed to e slpover too. and T reluctantly agreed coz i wholeheartedly agreed. just a tugging feeling...coz i feel tt T can be capable of so much more if he has his own style, his own voice...

then i felt sadder when i see my dearest er zi struggling to get his tots heard...he has idealistic tots of a utopia tt T and laogong cannot appreciate. he felt e need to air them and it made me sad to noe tt actually er zi is really very capable. yet, e role of acting PD was not passed to him coz he's still young and ppl won't listen to him. i agree tt there will be ppl who dun cooperate coz really...he gives too much autonomy to individualism, to freedom of choice, trust that everyone's adults with brains. but...it's sad that things are like this. my struggling er zi. 

i rem wat yf asked me e other time...abt who i think is a better catch, ritch or er zi...and i said tt er  zi is too playful and childish...not stable enuf, not mature enuf....i definitely was wrong abt e not stable and not mature enuf thing. and i'm proud that er zi chu dao into e club partly from my encouragement. and yepz..chong mama's personality test is very accurate. me and er zi are really twin souls with very similar ideas, tots, maturity, madness etc. from our coconut dances to our discussions over the autonomy that members shld have.

tugs at my heartstings to noe that such a fine talent is buried somewhere in e politics...sigh