...
points to self...to ask ting abt:
1. at present, is he wat u want
2. do u want him as part of ur future
3. are u happy with e mode of interaction/e dynamics of e relationship
i think these are impt qns. got a heart attack today when ting called me at 11+...asked if i'm free then proceeded to cry for 2mins str. heartwrenching sobs w/o e ability to articulate her thoughts, merely her emotions. i thought tt perhaps she broke up and was happy for her for awhile. but she didn't, e guy merely ignored her while she drowned herself in alcohol whilst he played games with his frens. maybe i am prejudiced...but i genuinely believe tt:
1. a guy who does not love and appreciate his family can nvr appreciate his gf coz e gal will become family and he doesn't noe how to deal with his zui qing de ren. patterns of interacting are hard to learn/unlearn. (i dun have to be a psych major to think this)
2. a guy's environment determines to a large extent his worldview. for someone like ting's bf...his world consists of first and foremost his xiong di/brothers. followed by colleagues whom he can nua ard with after a hard day's work. a gf will be just an adornment, a trophy...a sign that he has achieved something. there will be e initial daily polishing of e trophy...but with time, e trophy will just tarnish. i tot that when they got together and time just proved me right. there's no point in showing off a competition that u have won 2 yrs ago. u crave a new achievement. i admit tt ting makes a brilliant trophy choice for someone like D, a pretty gal, a smart gal who can get into uni (any uni is an achievement to him..HAR!), a gal who is caring, a gal who was attached but he 'saved' her from her heartbreak when she broke up.
of coz...i dun contest e existence of love...but as i have told grace dear...in JC 1...i wrote e following thoughts into my first GP paper...'when a couple is in love, they tend to believe that love can overcome all obstacles. However, it is often after marriage when they realize that these same obstacles, more likely than not; kills the love which they shared.'
there are many diff kinds of obstacles. some are once-off ones...those are okie coz u just solve/avoid it...either way...it fades/disappears. but some issues/obstacles can nvr be resolved and they are perpetuate and repeat themselves. after u hit a dead-end at every attempt to solve e same prob...u realize tt u get tired..and u realize tt each time, u love e person a lil less. still rem tt e GP teacher then wrote tt it's a really gd pt. and i rem wondering if she has e same thoughts with regards to her marriage.
there's no love w/o obstacles...e qn is whether u can resolve it. if u noe tt u can't ever resolve it in ur either life..these is no pt dousing a fire tt can nvr be extinguished
but ting..u are right to say tt i'm really quite wise. LOL. i'm 21!! adult le. but i would think tt i am really similar to e family-fren archetypal character. that gives e teenagers e kinda 'u noe hor!! u must pick ahz! tt kind of boy that............' (which is what this neighbour keeps telling me whenever she sees me..but she goes by e facial structure e.g. cheek bones/chin...i'm not tt power yet. let me live for another 40 yrs).
i like being wise. and i like being silly. i'm both. muahahahaha.
and ting...remember...as i always tell u...watever happens i'm here for u. and it's really no trouble. coz i treat all ur lil requests as testimony to our strong frenship and ur faith in me. same to u qi. i'm glad that for so many years...like...8 yrs?? every time u gals need a listening yr/a shoulder to cry on/advice...i'm always e first to be contacted. i'm glad that u gals value me so much...and i really love u gals too. totally. and thanks grace dear...for saying tt everytime u have probs...i'm also first on ur mind. =).
everyone experiences love differently..i experience love by giving. i'm touched beyond words that i have e opportunity to give to those whom i love and in the process...make things better for them simply coz i'm here for them. =).