...
i realized tt i can be so weird...but nu-er can prob explain it with psychology...if i ever tell her e whole story which i wldn't.
bug spent time telling me he's sorry...
i didn't cry much.
bug spent time accusing me of things...
i didn't even tear coz i wasn't guilty.
bug tried to do things for me
i didn't tear.
finally...3mths later, bug mentions the magic word..PGP. and i cry like crazy.
a sign tt i am made a geographer. i can even quote massey on this. can't rem e yr though. e concept of sense of place. u can feel attachment to a place, u can reject a place as somewhere where u dun belong or u can feel indifferent to a place.
i was indifferent, then i grew attached, then i rejected e place but i cld nvr run away. i simply rejected and hated it more. finally i was free and put e place out of my mind.
surprisingly...i realized tt i dun blame myself/bug for e breakup. i realized tt i blame e geographical entity. and i realized tt i told myself tt i won't step foot into that place ever again. not in my nus life. not in my entire life. i just hope that they pull down e darn thing. i won't even step foot into e demolished rubble/cleared land. maybe psychologically...i just want to achieve wat i cldn't back then which was to have nth to do with that place at all.
but as massey wld correct me...tt's not possible coz all feelings attached to a place...including e deepest of hatred wld mean tt there is a connection. and i have sth to do with that place.
geog is so useful in everyday life really. Place matters.