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as i tried to study this morn...and i stared at my notes...i simply felt tempted to scribble H's name all over it. it made me wonder y....but i guess it just felt natural to me. i tried asking myself y i'm not tempterd to scribble bug's name instead...and i concluded tt it just din feel....normal doing it...dunno lahz. maybe this is e bubble theory...when i'm with bug, things just seem natural, rosy...sugar and spice and everything nice (powerpuff gals!) but when he's not ard....just diff.
anyway i do realise tt it will be hard for me to let H go in a way...coz somehow, i just feel tt me and H share something tt cannot be broken. dunno whether this is just me. but rem my saying tt sometimes i can sense where he is...right up to e exact spot? not as lame as he is in c-rm lahz. but like he is at FS eating prata near which part of e shop. yah! and i always had a knack for noeing when he will walk out of e rm. guess this is something tt cannot be taken away. is this telepathy? i dunno. but on e day when i was in bug's rm and he kissed me and i turned away...as i looked out of e window...i mustered an inner voice and shouted H's name (with my inner voice lahz! not out loud...not crazy or anything). and he did email me at ard tt time in reply to my mail asking for CS contacts. when i started missing him this morn...it just made me wonder if perhaps it's coz he is somewhere in this world, missing me too.
i feel disoriented suddenly. it's like e world..whole world is moving ard me. i am stuck watching things move...and i simply dun see how i fit into e big picture of you&me.