...

everything i do...somehow....i did it for u. watching u being so close to other gals...sometiems i feel like e little kindess u show me are acts of pity.

today i noe u got me newater. i noe u got everyone to come out to help me. u helped me pack e bags as well. i noe u did things. i just dunno if i am e reason or i am simply part of e process. when J made me go do his work for him. u kept quiet and signed e apprec letter which i had to pass to e sponsor. u promptly went to sleep after tt. wat does tt mean? tt u dun want to see me being zai? dun want to see me being pushed ard by ur ppl...or.....wat does it mean.

an ambiguity in my life. qns i will nvr noe e ans to.

sometimes i wish u wil just ask me to take a walk with u..and tell me there and then tt u dun like me. yet....i noe tt perhaps u are not even thinking abt e qn. i seriously dunno wat to say. ur nonchalance is a sign tt  u dun love me. whether or not u want to accept me...i am an idealist...i want u to love me.

maybe i shld ask mr kkl for help. though i think he quite big-mouth! LOL. ask kkl to ask H join e MC lehz. i wonder......where H will go from here.