...
i noe tt i am quite useless...in terms of trying to forget H.
and i noe tt i appear too zai. guys usu like gals who are less capable than them.
today...i got us TV coverage. like...simply amazing.
i did 4 hrs of solo booth duty
i got 1 team pending and 2 teams to sign up.
i noe tt was i walk in and out of e rm. u think to urself tt i am crazy..tt i am zai. i noe tt u prob told everyone to tell me to close e booth..but i wldn't do it. charm, beng both told me can close...H walked e corridor like 4 times..and asked me once per trip y i'm alone..we spoke alot of random stuff too. ALOT ALOT dun rem e detailed conversation.
i realise tt once i let him out of my sight...i feel like i thoroughly miss him...evey cell in my body screams for my legs to bring me near him. tt's not a gd sign. i read his blog. he said tt ha has 2 big descions to make. e first is abt hall. e 2nd is abt something tt will alter his future. he said tt it'sa new qn, so it's not e discourse on hons vs bach. wat else can alter his future. tt is exciting. whether to join young pap! LOL. me????? he said tt e qn will remain at e back of his mind...for now. so prob not pap. or he wld have joined le. LOL.
a million thanks to D who is here for me. no matter wat.i was so tired today when i saw him. drained, stressed. he din reproach me. din ask me anything..was just there next to me. when i was locking up after session..he was there behind me, speaking to me softly, telling me tt i can walk first and i noe tt he doesn't want me to be e last to leave. yet, i stepped back and asked him to walk out first (sometimes maybe gal too zai not a gd thing) i tried to lock e door and fail..he laffed next to me. when we were walking off...he mentioned tt i seem quite tired. i am. coz i love H...and not him. maybe things wld be diff if e person is diff.