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10.27.05 (5:37 am) [edit]
i dun like e feeling of drifting apart...i wish tt ter nvr told me tt he liked me and tt i nvr distorted his words...perhaps e hurt in e distortion is still felt acutely bahz..his nick says 'It's time to let go, my friend' with a personal msg of leave no trace...somehow i feel so sad at e leave no trace...e denying of an existence.
perhaps this will be e biggest mistake i make in my life bahz..at least so far it is...yet, i can only convince myself tt e current silence betwn me and ter will still occur if we get together and e silence will be e barrier we can nvr overcome. to just make myself feel better bahz.
i noe tt i will nvr be able to turn back time, to right my mistakes, i can only look ahead and move on.
in retrospect, if e day occured again, same circumstances, same msg...i still wldn't have said yes (in case i make a fool of myself by misintepreting e msg)...and after i distort it..there was no way i cld switch it back. u idiot. bleahz
so many grey areas...i wonder if KC will disappear from my life at e end of this sem...having invested nothing in this, perhaps it wldn't matter..perhaps it will basically coz i have invested effort in refusing to invest any feelings into this.
and as i just smsed ter to ask if he's asleep...since he went offline after my dc...i got an incoming sms tt made my heart skip...yet it was him...just KC randomly smsing me tt he feels like skipping his tut tmr for KTV. i wonder...wat i am up to really.
perhaps this will be e biggest mistake i make in my life bahz..at least so far it is...yet, i can only convince myself tt e current silence betwn me and ter will still occur if we get together and e silence will be e barrier we can nvr overcome. to just make myself feel better bahz.
i noe tt i will nvr be able to turn back time, to right my mistakes, i can only look ahead and move on.
in retrospect, if e day occured again, same circumstances, same msg...i still wldn't have said yes (in case i make a fool of myself by misintepreting e msg)...and after i distort it..there was no way i cld switch it back. u idiot. bleahz
so many grey areas...i wonder if KC will disappear from my life at e end of this sem...having invested nothing in this, perhaps it wldn't matter..perhaps it will basically coz i have invested effort in refusing to invest any feelings into this.
and as i just smsed ter to ask if he's asleep...since he went offline after my dc...i got an incoming sms tt made my heart skip...yet it was him...just KC randomly smsing me tt he feels like skipping his tut tmr for KTV. i wonder...wat i am up to really.