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09.10.05 (11:38 pm) [edit]
suddenly, acutely i realised tt i'm drifting apart from my frens physically...deep down inside i'm not too sure...it all started yest with my circular dialogue with rubz...she asked if i wanted to share cost with her and matt to buy mooncake so i replied okie and we can each pay for 1.33 of a mooncake...then she replied something abt mooncake which i took to mean tt 3 of us shld share one piece of mooncake which freaked me out. then i replied nono..we share a box...then rubz called me and asked if i'm angry??? then i was like huh..no?? i just dun want to have 3 ppl sharing one piece of mooncake then she said tt she tot i was angry coz i wanted to share one piece of mooncake 3 ways but she din want to..lol..weird situation..then we were talking somemore...then she said tt i nicely pang sei-ed grace again..like how will i noe tt ting will pang sei me rite?? then i was thinking tt when we were talking abt her not replying grace yet abt sat and i told her tt i'm meeting ting to study she breathed a sigh of relief coz she cldn't finish her work wat...just tot it was weird tt now she's like blaming me when she din want to meet on sat anyway...
then...she was like asking when i can meeting her and grace...then i said maybe next sat or e hols lorz..since hols coming wat...then she said tt hols she maybe cannot if she got assignments, projs, term papers etc then i was thinking sure will have term papers and projs at least mahz..and her german always got assignments one...then she said tt she dun mean to make me feel guilty?? which brought me to a very impt qn..y shld i feel guilty??? coz i mean if they decide to meet on a day whereby i got lessons...no fault of mine wat...and i am making time to meet over e hols although i will have projs and term papers too...and she won't...shldn't she feel guilty?? lol..just weird...
anyway...today my phone was surprisingly quiet..then i realised..hey where are my usu sms-kakees?? so i have arrived at a conclusion...
1. qi: prob chiong-ing her computing hw
2. ting: studying for 'A's
3. shan: dunno how she's doing manz..haven't spoken to her for some time...but prob chiong-ing her psych too..after all she needs to prove to her dad tt being attached does not affect her studies
4. rubz: obviously studying and feeling traumatised over her german mistakes
5. grace: prob finding ppl to go out with...must enjoy before sch starts mahz
6. sam, alex: they have their OG ppl to contend with...esp me and sam...quite miss her...haven't had any along time with her since sch started
7. shaz: still making frens with guys on e bus i guess..and spending time with her bf bahz
so...let's see who i am still very much in touch with physically: we have qi, kai, siew mei, rubz.
tt's it bahz...lol...where are e rest spatially?!! argh.
anyway..not bad...my best frens list has like zero guys...they prob forfeited e right once they felt they are close enuf. and where are my OG ppl ahz?? lol...but this one no choice also..i must agree i have a weird time table..diff from everyone else...
think my uni academic r/s quite superficial too...coz well..we only talk when we have projs, presentations and during lessons. oh well...maslow's concept is obviously wrong...coz i have skipped e need to feel loved and accepted part to e self-actualisation bit. hmph.
then...she was like asking when i can meeting her and grace...then i said maybe next sat or e hols lorz..since hols coming wat...then she said tt hols she maybe cannot if she got assignments, projs, term papers etc then i was thinking sure will have term papers and projs at least mahz..and her german always got assignments one...then she said tt she dun mean to make me feel guilty?? which brought me to a very impt qn..y shld i feel guilty??? coz i mean if they decide to meet on a day whereby i got lessons...no fault of mine wat...and i am making time to meet over e hols although i will have projs and term papers too...and she won't...shldn't she feel guilty?? lol..just weird...
anyway...today my phone was surprisingly quiet..then i realised..hey where are my usu sms-kakees?? so i have arrived at a conclusion...
1. qi: prob chiong-ing her computing hw
2. ting: studying for 'A's
3. shan: dunno how she's doing manz..haven't spoken to her for some time...but prob chiong-ing her psych too..after all she needs to prove to her dad tt being attached does not affect her studies
4. rubz: obviously studying and feeling traumatised over her german mistakes
5. grace: prob finding ppl to go out with...must enjoy before sch starts mahz
6. sam, alex: they have their OG ppl to contend with...esp me and sam...quite miss her...haven't had any along time with her since sch started
7. shaz: still making frens with guys on e bus i guess..and spending time with her bf bahz
so...let's see who i am still very much in touch with physically: we have qi, kai, siew mei, rubz.
tt's it bahz...lol...where are e rest spatially?!! argh.
anyway..not bad...my best frens list has like zero guys...they prob forfeited e right once they felt they are close enuf. and where are my OG ppl ahz?? lol...but this one no choice also..i must agree i have a weird time table..diff from everyone else...
think my uni academic r/s quite superficial too...coz well..we only talk when we have projs, presentations and during lessons. oh well...maslow's concept is obviously wrong...coz i have skipped e need to feel loved and accepted part to e self-actualisation bit. hmph.
posted by: rb (reply)
post date: 09.11.05 (3:46 am)
Oh my god i'm such an arschloch! It's just that at that point of time i was so far behind my readings and feeling so guilty for doing some things. Lets just pretend i was drunk when i said those things.
I see that you are trying (very hard)to build up a logical explaination for my behaviour. :) haha
But the premises just don't add up.
Explaination? Nein. Ich denke nicht.
Sorry.
posted by: rb (reply)
post date: 09.11.05 (3:51 am)
I've just been very selfish.