well...i woke up (dragged myself out of bed) at 11am...read my bk till 2 pm during which i just kept thinking if i shld go send them off.

well...in e end i did...i stupidly took e train to simei...got out...and waited for e changi train thinking tt e same lane goes boon lay/changi...just wait for e changi words to flash and get on...i waited................6 boon lay trains went pass....then i realised...damnit!!!! *%"&%"&% e place to change train is tanah merah and not simei...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

then when i got to tanah merah...i was faced with a central lane for e changi train which pissed me off further so i so blind and blur...which convinced me it's a mistake going to e airport...lol...plus e fact tt i was thirsty with a bottle of horrid-tasting green tea did not cheer me up.

okie...so i arrived at terminal 2...my dear brother...tt stupid mr tay was late!!! and i noe he is reading this..then he showed me some of his compositions and a script written by someone...i must say his music is.......LOL...funny...3 pgs of rest...then end...wth...best. slacker like me. okie lahz...shall not be mean..i'm sure he's talented

after tt we went swensons and makaned...i insisted tt we go dutch (kinda..i just shoved him $10 which more or less covers it)...then sent him off NOTE: judge choir!! my choir rox!!

then i took e sky train to terminal 1 to send my choir off lorz...well...i hate to say this...rite from e min i saw da i knew it was a bad idea...to say he is cold is an understatement..he was freezing towards me. for starters...i arrived...said hi...everyone said hi...except him...he started at e piece of attendance paper in front of him lahz. okie. so maybe he is busy. i wait.

then kev and gloria came say hi...i said hi...da came over to mark their attendance and ask abt e missing ppl...i stared at da....he just turned his back towards me as he said hi to kew and gloria...i waited.

THEN...i give up...i said 'oi! u said hi to everyone except me u notice??' then LONG PAUSE...then he went 'hi....' PAUSE albeit a shorter one 'kit one' feel like screaming ahz. anyway i turned away...and sulked at a new corner..lol

THEN...i began to wonder y everyone except him can show me such interest..like xm came up to me and said 'teacher! u cut hair nicer...ur msn pic horz...e one with u new hairstyle not nice coz u take at hm rite...i take one for u now lahz...blah blah blah blah blah blah' while da just had his eyes glued to e paper. refused to look anywhere else. he was like clinging on to it like his life depended on how stuck his eyes were to it. FINE.

THEN...daniel and shao appeared with E...they came over talk a lil to me..then E drifted away...i can't say i blame E since i am e one we erected e wall betwn us to protect myself, him and his gf...so there...my fault. i dun blame him.

THEN tt xm heard abt e me, cw, free ticket, judge story...and he started grilling me on y a guy will want to give me a free air ticket....zzz...and blahz blahz blahz....until dear juat and hui appeared to pry his prying mind off my biz..lol...STILL...da remains quivering silent...

OKIE...nvm...so i went and talked to shi...acted les with her and told xm tt nop...nothing betwn me and cw coz i have a gf already blah blah...utter crap...until i cannot take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i went and stood in front of all e choir ppl queueing up. then surprisingly da came and stood rite next to me. so near...so close...so silent!!!!!!!!!!! i realised tt i din noe wat i could say to unfreeze him...so we stood there...me, him, e piece of paper. silent. for like 3 minutes. complete silence...then he walked back to e queue...like wth...he just stood there next to me...doing nothing for 3 minutes not talking?!! okie not?!!!!!!!

SO...they began to go in...i just stood where i was...making small talk with e teachers...kwek...watching them esp him...then after they checked in baggage...i just felt tears in my eyes...so i silently left them. think only daniel and shao noticed tt i was visibly a lil upset...coz daniel so funny he said 'dun be jealous of me okie?' i said 'okie' then he gave me a weird look...then shao came over also after e baggage went in...just weird tt two j1s i'm not exactly close with came back after checking in to talk to me..so i told shao 'okie..i'm jealous of u ppl' then i pushed them towards e gate and said 'go lahz! dun get left behind' then while their backs were turned...i left...

lol..really felt like crying..so drama...okie...reason y i felt like crying (simple): y e hell is everyone except da so nice to me when i only want tt one person to be nice to me..damnit.

PS: gerald ng and his family like super close they just stood in a circle after checking in baggage when e rest of e choir all moved off...ng and his dad, mum, sis were hugging, kissing each other and almost in tears...touching family scene manz...

esp when i noe there are ppl whose dad just toss him money...mom just 'borrow' his money and just can't seem to get to see much of his parents. damnit.

PS2: i got yvon to tell da tt she think from her personal observation tt i might like da.

rationale (Simple): if u think u are dreaming (a dream like mine) a dream tt is like a roller coaster ride...sad, happy and mostly unfathomable...i for one will want to confirm if it is a dream...if it is just my own fabricated figment of a fairy tale in dreamworld...let me wake up for e longer i dream...e more i will feel attached to e dream...and e harder it will be for me to accept e reality in e waking world...for after all..once day i must wake up. if i noe tt it is a dream...allow me to rouse myself...or allow me to form a congregation of ppl with pots and pans to rouse me such tt although i will face an emptiness.....it will not be as harsh.

NOTE from Y: dun give up hope..coz he has yet to give up

bleahz...tt's erm..comforting...since i believe i am e one he is not giving up hope for and tt will lead me to prob no.2 won't it....

NOTE to CW: shld be a long enuf blog to occupy ur time while judging...btw...did i mention tt my choir rox?!!

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