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been awhile since i've blogged! LOL...
friends
been cool!! managed to meet up with the click for an outing involving carls' junior and some studying at the Hans outlet at e national lib and rounded off my day visiting grace dear's mom at hospital. a really exciting day since it's rare that all 5 of us gals are free. PLUS rubz brought along bananas!!! for extra nutrition. PLUS we all got our watches! =D PLUS me and grace's bro made fun of grace tgt! and lastly...coz i got lost in SGH thinking that there's a short-cut home which brought me to a super secluded, dark, eerie, empty, devoid of life part of SGH. totally freaky. LOL. Even the air was super cold, place seemed like it hadn't seen a living soul for 10 yrs! so obviously i turned around and walked back! LOL!!!!
besides the click...really glad that i've been able to study with qi and best fren and at times, botak-uncle and mommy. the studying really opened my eyes to many things...none of which are academic-related! LOL!!! like i cannot imagine how best fren can possess the same ktv system as kbox at his own home!! he updates his songs biannually and it's $400 per time, and e hardware is a one-off payment of 4k. i would love that one day too..which i have no better place to throw my money into. LOL!! and best fren has a gigantic car which i think is cool coz gigantic cars kinda mean that if u crash into a joker-small car...u're still pretty safe. LOL. and worst of all!!! uncle botak drives a jaguar. like....k ahz!!! but of coz...regardless of a KIA, a jaguar or a toy car...3 of us still have great fun discussing our modules. of coz i had great fun talking crap with them too..like best fren has rather mature and unique insights into relationships which sometimes scare me and qi. and of coz mommy has insights that are EVEN more unique...like how he compares himself to an NBA player specializing in rebounds and ball-snatching (i.e. relationships with attached gals). often me and qi ponder the ethics or possible lack of behind his actions yet we're not sure if all's fair in love and war.
Studies
Not really in e mood as u can tell tt my study sessions turn into teaching sessions/talk cock sessions. so for e mods that i'm doing w/o best fren...i pretty much haven't touched them yet though my first paper is sat!!!! *argh*
Also, my dad seems to be still quite anti me studying and he nicely took my notes from my table and scattered them all over the floor! and told me that i can only use the table after 7pm everyday. -_-. so i obviously spent e next 3 days with 2 days in sch and 1 day in e bedroom. in order to spite him...i turned e aircon on in a last-ditch effort to drive up e electricity bill. totally lame i noe but it was in hope that the prospect of a higher electricity bill will open up my access to the table once again. but of coz i failed and ended my day w/o any success but with a running nose. but well! there's always sch i guess. no choice! but besides e discussions with best fren and botak-uncle....i've only averaged studying 2 slides a day. YES! 2 ppt slides. not even 2 pgs. -_-!!
but of coz...some gd news! very honoured that e dept had decided to nominate me for some asia-pac rim universities summer programme thing in china!! airfare, accommodation, special dinners, visa paid for. tt's kinda like my ticket to somewhere besides sg! prob is that though e dept nominated me, each dept gets to nominate one person and only one person gets to go from arts. and in e whole of nus...2 ppl get to go. which means that competition's quite stiff. in fact, e pressure is on since shirly keeps giving me advice on how to improve my write-up. so e 500 words writeup is kinda a nvr-ending process of revisions. which isn't helping my efforts to buckle down and study. but of coz!!! i would rather go to china! =D not that it's a wonderful place but it's novel, dynamic and i believe...prestigious. and e best part is that my dad is sooo sick of looking at me at home trying to study/use my laptop (which he equates to studying since he calls it my sch laptop)...he says tt he'll be glad for me to go to china! then he won't have to look at my face. LOL!!! sometimes e world conspires to give me opportunities! really hope i can get it esp coz it's right after eth camp. so i too won't have to stick my butt to my home chair in order to not waste money going out...and my recluse will last 1 mth!!!! plus e itinerary of e china summer prog tells me that food over there is 0.6USD..which is like SGD$1!!! hoping to get...then i'll ask MO3 for extra allowance too!! =D.
Entertainment
Very board category....
1. contemplating getting a credit card...e NUS kind. so tt i can live thru my july w/o dying until e cash comes in in aug. and since i start NI3 in like june!!! tt means that i am effectively able to survive financially if i get a credit card. but only toying with e idea...
2. been watching a new drama serial on basketball, love, the biz world and determination! =D
3. i complained against 2 singtel personnel who wished to enter my home claiming that there's a prob with my phone line but refused to tell me what the problem was and buzzed off, never to return. like hello!! what if i thought that my phone would explode. After my complaint and investigation, they were in fact trying to sell me some products upon entry. glad that i turned them away but best fren said tt i was silly since i shld have told e customer relations officer that i demand compensation. which of coz didn't make my day coz my silliness meant that i prob missed out on a month's waiver of my home phone bill!!!!
4. also as entertainment...i decided to sms a guy whom i think is cute and borrow his jacket coz i really forgot mine and he happened to be at home and planning to come to sch. cute in a hmmm...only i think he's cute way!! LOL...i think i hear groans esp from shaz who must have rem-ed me and my previous infatuation hawaiian shirt hoc. oops! LOL. i promise this one is cuter k? anyway...i dun exactly like him....just think that he's a very interesting person...in terms of how he goes abt his life and how he speaks. obviously, he gamely lent me one. but he must be colour-blind! coz he gave me a choice..blue or brown. so i chose brown...but he has have meant the trimmings? coz e blue jacket was 10% blue and 90% white whilst the brown was 10% brown and 90% beige. LOL!!!!!!!! (now u noe y i think he's cute...okie i hear more groans) but still..i was glad to have a jacket to keep me warm! =D
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i finally finally finished my last assignment for this sem!!!!!!!!!! after much procrastinating and much meditating... wrote just over 1.4 words. =D. feel like such a burden is lifted from my shoulders esp since i don't intend to study for for exams since my tutees are having their exams too and i intend to give them more tuition since it's gd for them, they have e money, i need e money. LOL! can still rem last sem when i gave tuition every single day leading up to zj's paper. wonder if i still have that same composure this sem.
my tuition yest was quite wonderful. e new kid...this sec 3 boy lives in a condo near orchard (which is wonderful for me coz it's on e way to cck..so if we meetup at lot 1...sat's cool!). and we have tuition in this room that's not very big....only abt twice e size of e ex gs-rm...but one of its walls is covered with an oil painting!!! kinda hard to describe it...imagine urself sitting on a chair at some ancient, majestic building and looking out into sea. tt's kinda e scene! e railings are painted in too..and in e middle of e sea..there's some cultural buildings that look quite middle-eastern. quite a surreal feeling manz...to sit at tuition, waiting for the kid to do his work and looking at e painting. =D. e funniest thing though is that the room is so non-functional. as typical of rich ppl with alot of rooms i guess. i told him to on e lights....and well...as we all know..oil paintings are typically protected from strong light. so his light was like some weak orangy thing that made me laugh. i wanted to say 'u call that a light?!' but cldn't ahz...coz dunno him well enuf...i wanted to ask him 'ay...art gallery izzit?!' but didn't either. wait till the 5th or 6th lesson manz. anyway he's a really shy boy, not confident with the language at all. quite shuai. has a nice maid who got me tea and biscuits..LOL! and he lives with 2 other kids...no adults at home. looking fwd to more tuition! e tea's really nice...i think it's lipton though. but i like sweet hot tea~
anyway...e pj filming turned out to be damn lame! and atas. they only got e scholars back -_-. mama din tell me if not i might not have gone. not sure if it's a right decision...i mean after all, our scholars aren't too atas in e first place!!!! LOL. so e titles beneath our faces are gonna be damn lame. tons of SAF ppl though...i believe there's 2 mo3tas. and tt seems to pretty much define e grp. -_-. LOL!!! i cabbed there and realized tt i wasted my $11.40 coz i cld have been later and they won't be too bothered since e cameraman had planned to finish at 12 but when i reached at 1230...he still have a few more ppl to film! anyway e lamest thing was that after much thought...he only needed me to say e occupation itself. no need for any elaboration. so i just said 'policy-maker' coz i decided that it's super lame to say teacher when u're already bonded. -_-. LOL!!!!! like it's a dream that you don't have to strive for what. LOL. anyway...i had to say it like 10 times in front of e camera still. reminds me of how uni ppl are made to jump into the air for 10 times for a 5 secs shot. LOL! anyway e funniest thing is that e occupations tt the supposedly atas grp picked aren't atas. e.g. fire-fighter, navy, teacher. -_-. LOL!!!! in retrospect, i shld have said something like 'get into the guiness bk of world records' since there's no need to specify what record and how i intend to do it! LOL!! or i cld dream of being the first woman to travel to some star in the milky way. -_-. why didn't i think of it earlier?!
anyway something funny happened today. my dad met up with shan's dad and as usual they had their bout of comparing/bitching abt their kids. i have no idea why people like to compare their kids with other kids/other ppl with themselves so much. i mean everyone goes thru different things in life. just coz u hold certain values doesn't make you all high and mighty. some ppl just think that they know more than others/are more mature than others or in my dad's case...bring up their kids better than others. then my dad nicely managed to make shan's dad pissed off with her simply coz i've been paying for my own stuff but shan's graduated but getting money from her parents. well, it wasn't her fault at all that her parents are willing to give her e money/not force her to make her own mahz. and my dad nicely made my fren's dad pissed off with my fren. -_-. parents~ LOL!
anyway i pissed my dad off today too. coz i got paid for tuition and i went to buy milk from ntuc in order to break my $100 note which i can't exactly break at sch. then my dad said tt i cld have passed e note to him and he'll break it for me. then i reminded him of e times he took my money w/o telling me only to have me find out later on. and he got pissed. but he got over it damn quickly and reminded me of shan's dad's dismay at her. -_-. patted himself on e back and decided tt he did a gd job i guess. sometimes i dun understand my dad. he stays at home e whole day, eats homecooked food bought with my mom's money. doesn't buy anything except beer and cigarettes and my cousin gives him $200 a month mahz. and my mom gives him an unknown amt too. perhaps he takes my money for fun. -_-. LOL! just like how i insist on eating my meals at home most of e tme. it's e 'zhuan dao' feeling i guess...e feeling that u managed to exploit a loophole in the system.
i realized that me and my sec sch best frens lead such different lives...each one of us. shan, me, ting, qi....all so diff! =D. anyway...as i always say..my dreams are contingent on the dreams of my frens! congrats shan on graduating and i hope you find an internship soon!! then u can finally get a job after that! =D. and congrats qi for passing driving!!! i can't wait to hitch a ride!!! wheeee~~ i love it when my frens aim to learn driving! LOL!
it's over!! my sem's over! at least the compulsory part's over. i.e. e assignments. i love this part of e sem coz studying's optional! LOL!!! and there's no cca! (okie lahz...i still have cca like everyday coz i've got to do some duty thing...but not shiong at least!) YEA!!
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i usually use my blog to help me think thru stuff...and i usually arrive at a clearer picture at the end of blogging and this really is a necessary post for me.
i got asked to go back to my jc to film a corporate video...e theme is 'i have a dream' (like how cheesy)...but oh well..that also means that i have to talk abt my dreams. so i gave it much thought and came up with a conclusion. actually quite glad for this opportunity coz it forces me to sit down and give the matter much thought.
i realized these past few days that what i REALLY want to do is to have a positive impact on the lives of others. of coz teaching does fulfil that. but as much as i like helping youths, talking to them, guiding them....i think that there are other groups out there that need my help such as the needy especially. So my dream is that as i go about my busy life...i can continue to remember my passion for volunteering and continue to work with such groups. Besides making a direct impact on society...i also hope to one day go into policy-making as it is also my dream to be able to devise policies that can help the more neglected segments of society improve their lives and feel a greater sense of self-worth.
yepz! that's e crux of it....not too long so that people don't fall asleep watching my segment of e corporate video of coz. i'm supposed to bring props if it can aid me...but well...i can't think of any props. i'm supposed to wear clothes that reflect my dream..but since i'm not intending to be an astronaut (and borrow a fish bowl to put over my head)..it's gonna be boring if i wear long-sleeve and black pants. LOL!! i cld dress damn lok kok and claim that i emphatize with the more disadvantaged sectors of society but that's stereotypical since ppl are disadvantaged coz they're emotionally needy too and i won't want to go into a sob story of my humble beginnings. -_-. so k ahz! i shall wear my jeans and a blouse. i could be elitist and sit in front of my straits times interview which has been converted into a plague at e concourse. or i could drama-mama and pretend to teach at a classroom then request for a fade-out and appear once more in casual clothes saying i want to be a volunteer then fade and wear a blazer or sth for policy-making but that's too lame! maybe i can do a typical SMU-ish thing and do some jumping on e sch field then sit on e grass with loose strands of hair flying in e breeze. LOL!!!!
*excited*
plus!!! i got an email today asking for help for an overnight trek!! so cool!! it's for youths who are still under GP which means that they have commited a petty crime and are undergoing probation/counselling. looking fwd to it.
lastly...have to say that i am still feeling quite sianz abt my parents who are still persistent in having me grad right after my bachelor. simply coz they want me to start giving them money. they've been not replacing all the damaged things in e house lahz and stressing that i should. super gosh. but in reaction to this adversity!! i have taken up more tuition!! HAR! i believe in myself. that i can do my hons and earn say at least $500 a mth so that i can pass them $200-$300 a mth and still replace things ard e house. hmph.
but suddenly my 3 pending grad trips all seeeeem so far away. maybe i'll have to do a grad trip to msia. -_-. maybe my dream can be that i want to go on a grad trip or even better..that my parents will be less assured that i can cope with the financial burdens that they throw upon me. thinking back as i spoke to rubz yest....yah...quite unthinkable that they would stop supporting their 16yr old kid who's still sch-ing. like callously not give her a single cent for sch and expect that she can settle the problem herself. but i like how i turned out i guess..have to credit my parents for their intended/unintended not-too-bad upbringing. maybe i should do e same to my kids in future!!!!!! muahahahhaha.
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life's funny...esp when things come full circle.
i fell sick yest...coz i was so affected by a msn convo i had 2 days ago.
Y msn-ed me....and he wanted to ask me out for coffee one of these days so i graciously agreed of coz...no harm drinking some coffee i guess. then he wanted to send me a song. so i accepted and listened to it. he really has a god-given voice/talent for singing. somehow e song moved me a lil to open myself to him a lil...so i opened tt door that i shut long ago when i rejected him. i guess that in a way...it was open before tt but i had to shut it since he asked a yes/no qn then. and it was a ridiculous yes/no qn at that. he asked if i would one day marry him. i had to say no coz i wld nvr convert into any religion just coz of marriage...somemore it's islam! (okie....religion-ist. but i dun like a restrictive lifestyle). so i closed it long ago.
i guess i felt safe opening e door a very lil bit....thinking that well...no harm since he's attached now mahz. i was wrong. LOL! anyway i asked for him to send me his rendition of 'when u say nothing at all'...which in a way was a special song for me during that period coz before his confession...most ppl who knew us plus both of us kinda both knew that there was sth but we nvr said anything. for alot of reasons of coz. then he offered to sing it for me in real life. which stunned me. and i slammed tt door that i opened slightly shut! LOL. then i said no...but cldn't think of an excuse. and i can't confess the potency of his music and how it melts ppl. in fact...i rem like 80% of e gals in my class having crushes on him. -_-. and how dee used to go mad whenever he performs. so i invented some crap reason like how a recorded version is better since i can play back whenever i feel like it. (i guess that i also have e option of deleting it...not playing it. anyway i prefer my memory of him to stay a memory i guess).
anyway....he started sending me more songs. then i decided tt it's abit too weird. so i attempted to remind him tt he's attached by asking if his gf recorded e his competition song for him (he won btw.). then he said no...and that they broke up. GOSH!!! i almost died tt moment. i admit that i was slightly happy...but of coz i din almost die from happiness. i almost died from confusion, shock and i suddenly felt very lost. coz it was as if we were walking tgt till one day...we had to go onto two diff paths. then i got attached and he expressed his regret then he got attached and i expressed my congratulations though i felt a tinge of sadness coz his music ceased to be abt me. then i split and then he split. and suddenly he seems to be trying to come back onto my path. and it seems so natural to slip back into that ambiguous relationship that would lead nowhere coz i dun like the end pt. so i resisted as i did back then. and all e things he said at our final clearing things up conversation seems like yesterday. how he was so sure that i would say yes. how i asked if he nvr once considered the opposition, the problems and he admitted that he nvr considered it.
then he asked again to meet me and to sing to me.
once again i have e choice... i could let him down or i could let everyone else down esp my family who wld nvr approve...and my frens who wld have probs going out with us since we eat e most non-halal food. and let myself down by restricting my lifestyle.
in e end...i noe that i wld let him down again. coz e other option isn't even a valid option for me.
currently listening to a repertoire of the songs he sent me...i dun like being in this ambiguous space...and he sure knows how to push me in. but i can't change my ans still.
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woah...tired!
know that several of my frens are going thru rough patches with all sorta issues. none are less significant than e other of coz. everyone jiayou!!!
really tired too coz finally yest i concluded my last meeting during the term for eth. wanted to go buy e vitamin c pills for e oc to eat then go home to sleep! but as val has aptly described it! i found vitamin F! by running into her and matt!! and what was even funnier was that as we were walking towards e bus interchange...matt pointed out that he drove toward and e car was right at tt carpark. -_-! LOL. so obviously we took his car. matt took abit of persuading but after all!!! e route to vivo can just be e bus 10 route mahz! and we happily drove over with e car tuned to english classics and matt being very nice! offered to changed it to a chi channel. LOL!!! thanks matt but k ahz. i understand eng. no choice. LOL!
we had long john silvers for lunch...which i love..and i got myself a meal + clam chowder in e hopes of growing fatter. and val and matt decided not to help me with the food though i was full coz that would defeat the initial purpose! so i stuffed e food down and was totally satisfied. afterwhich we obviously loitered ard quite abit and we saw e cutest kindergarten kids!! with some workbk on 'Malls'. LOL! k ahz..then i jokingly said tt we can teach them retail geog! but totally cute and quite a few grps of them as well!
then of coz i got e vitamin Cs...but e bottle has 180 tablets (chewable)...and i think e OC ate like 30. which means i have 150 more to settle. which means tt i'll be a healthy gal!! wooohoooooo!! can't believe that i was thoughtful enuf to think of getting them vitamins so that they'll be healthy for exams and they were really quite gan dong-ed. LOL! i'm amazed by my occasional thoughtfulness...too bad it's so occasional! LOL!! *slave-driver in e making*
yepz...and wj is soooo predictable that i knew tt he would celebrate my bday for me. so i msned him e night before e meeting saying tt i dun want to have a celebration during e meeting coz we din celebrate for e rest so it won't be fair! then wj din reply for 5mins...so i msned him e next line 'wj...dunno what to say/do also must reply sth de' LOL!!! so he just said some random thing. next day...after e meeting. indeed there was cake! but wj did tone it down to one slice! and having it after e meeting. =). thanks thanks! and i was surprised once more!! what a surprising yr! =D. surprised coz T tried to stall for time by bringing me to CBLC at 10pm. -_-. obviously it was closed le. so he panicked a lil i guess and asked me to wait for him outside e clubrm while he went in to take sth. well! if i had stood outside waiting i wld have guessed it coz...why can't i wait inside rite? but it so happens that i needed e toilet...coz i was my own decoy. and after tt when i was done...T was outside and said tt he needed to go in to take sth (like again?! but i believed it). so i opened e door and woah!!! darkness + candle + cake + song. gan dong-ed!!
now for e best part....i got 2 things from e party. 1 card + 1 gift
card: supposedly from everyone in comservclub. but has like 20+ ppl lahz...just tt they're not from any SP in particular and damn weird...they got someone whom i've only spoken to once in my life to write e card coz T happened to see e talk to her during tt one time when i did and he was e one who did up e card. and somehow i expected him to cough up a card. just knew tt he would cough up a card with eth ppl writing msgs just didn't expect it to be on a bigger scale.
gift: necklace earring set! (again)...getting things in doubles like e bags and now e necklace-earrings set. but i realized tt my doubles are total opposites. like ting qi shan got me a formal folder looking bag tt i can bring to work. T bought a go-out-ish taiwanish looking white/silverish bag. my dears+rubz got me a more funky, pink-girly necklace-earrings set but wj, gh, sista, kris and pc got me a adult-ish diamond-ish necklace-earring set. then i kept laughing upon opening up e gift coz.......it reminds me of a mothers' day gift!! esp coz wj who's like a small boy (smaller than me in build) gave it to me. and it's seriously mothers' day looking! LOL. plus e fact tt wj and gh went to choose it tgt. like 2 sons buying sth for their mom. but oh well..it's rather branded i think plus it comes with lifetime warranty so i guess tt i can still wear it w/o looking like a poser when i'm 60 yrs old! =D. gan dong-ed at e attempt by these 2 single guys trying to buy some jewellery. bet they felt weird just standing in e shop. LOL! kudos to their bravery.
so it was a very gan dong-ing day! though of coz i got home like close to midnite and had to start studying for my test tt took place today!
obviously i only studied up to half of lect 3 (there are 10 in total) by 2+am...partly coz i was talking to a truckload of ppl who aren't too happy abt life. but no worries! =D i love talking to u truckloads of ppl!!! then i woke up at 630 today to go to sch to oversee e med checkup thing. after giving e instructions..i meant to study...but for e first time in my life!!! i fell asleep at e clubrm. oops...2nd time. first time was during eth last yr when i slept at 2am and woke up at 5.30am everyday for 5 days. no naps! so i guess tt i'm damn drained.
oh well!!!
anyway my test was so buanged!! i cld only do half e qns. what of coz is already an accomplishment for me since i studied like 3 lects. which is less than half. gosh. however, i finished a 1 hr test in 5mins...contemplated walking out. guy oppo me finished in 10mins...made some weird sound to try to get my attention. think he wanted to copy manz. but i ignored him. -_-. then he walked off. like 10mins into e paper! then i tried to see how ppl were doing. so i glanced ard....even like 45mins into e test...i see alot of flipping and lil writing and completely empty scripts. -_-. but since i'm facing a whiteboard....i decided tt i shld stop screwing up my grades and think abt how i shall proceed from now till e exams. but my mind drew a blank. great way to spend 55mins of ur life. finally i gave up like 5mins before e end of e paper partly coz i saw tt my fren was done with her paper and she gave me e 'u wanna go?' look. so i stood up..turned ard...and realized tt e room which started with 120 ppl had like 10 ppl left!!!!!!!! LOL! like wth. i wonder if e bell-curve will save me.
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this blog is based on my experiences of having been in love just twice in my life. LOL! cld be totally inaccurate. i dunno manz. poor sample size. and by no means does this apply to other ppl. thinking that this will apply to u will prob fall flat coz i'm just super weird and crazy. LOL
1.
Qn (usu by qi/ting): who is ______?
me (in love): he's....ay....(choice of negative adjectives: e.g. arrogant, inhuman, ugly, cannot stand it)
me (just a fren): he's....ay....(choice of gd adjectives: e.g. smart, nice, very nice, kind, helpful
analysis: i guess that when i'm in love i believe that the singularity of the emotion is enuf to overcome all the negatives thus making the person deserving of whatever i wish to shower on that person but when i'm not in love...i tend to cite a long list of attributes/promote e person even....as if that will convince myself why i shld in fact feel sth for that person (which of coz doesn't work)
2.
very clear sign....
me (in love): will want to see that person everyday. not fan at all. and i really do e stupidest things like hang out where that person may appear often involving e most fallible excuses
me (just a fren): i get irritated when someone calls me 3 days in a row or tries to meet me 3 days in a row. and i'll avoid the person
3.
me (in love): will do anything to let that person 'owe' me sth or for me to 'owe' that person something
me (just a fren): will make sure that i don't owe him anything
analysis: my mom used to tell me as a child that she doesn't like to 'qian' ppl stuff esp ren qing. coz it's very hard to repay it. i guess that the concept stuck. and it's like if i can't repay the person or if that person can't repay me. we're linked tgt like that forever.
that's it for now..just very random thoughts on my part.
and T is really very smart. he picked up on pt 2 and 3 w/o me telling him anything. so in fact...he did contribute to the formulation of my tots. and he kicked up a fuss last nite on both pts esp pt 3 when i refused to let him pay for my dinner and he said tt i can always buy him dinner back but i refused to accept e arrangement coz i may forget. and he concluded with his usual conclusion that i am too smart for myself. i do not disagree. to be honest...i'm damn sianz of e no-feelings-for-anyone state. but i can't get out of it simply coz i want to mahz. e last i tried making it a matter of choice..i failed ahz. so no choice. opening my eyes very big and looking ard. but still....no choice!
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a few things...(as usual..LOL!)
1. my bday!!
had a great birdday! LOL. coz firstly got to meet up with family outside sch for e first time in say 9 mths (since after eth). and really really very gan dong that family made time for me esp laogong who kept falling asleep at dinner since he's been sleeping like 3hrs/day for forever. and er-zi who took time off his extremely busy cca schedule and his okie-ly busy sch schedule (since he had a test e next day and it's in e midst of his internal drive period). and really must thank T for getting everyone tgt. really very you xin and i appreciate it but still...no choice!
and must thank all e ppl who wished me happy bday esp rubz and grace dear who gave me such elaborate greetings fill with bday wishes. =) and thanks to val dear for putting me onto her gchat nick. =).
very surprised tt some ppl actually rem my bday and wished me happy bday. topping this list = siew mai who's my pri sch fren. LOL!! it's amazing how many inside jokes we have...coz she smsed me 'hi egg! happy bday!' LOL!! yepz...i'm known as egg in pri sch...like he bao dan (abbrev form=egg). really very gan dong that she has rem my bday since i was 7. tt's like 15yrs of bdays tt had passed. LOL! and surprised tt some ppl whom i nvr ever speak to e.g. cp rem my bday. and he wished me twice somemore. sms + frenster. LOL!! and of coz e feeling is very xin fu when i went to e clubrm on my bday and from afar...ppl outside e rm started shouting happy bday and when i walked in everyone chimed happy bday too. =D. such a strong feeling tt ppl care. =).
and sth funny abt my bday. before my bday...i had 0 sch bags (coz e strap to mine broke). so...
(1) i bought one for myself
(2) i bought another one for myself just in case e 1st one buang
(3) i ordered one online coz it's nice + big enuf for me to bring it to eth
(4) ting, qi, shan got me one
(5) family/T (i dunno if it's shared but i was told tt T went and got it himself) got me one.
so now...i have 5 bags!!!!!!!!!!!!
but well...one can nvr have too much of sincere wishes and greetings and gifts. LOL!
after a very happy 22nd bird-day....e next day is as usual as well!
2. his birdday!
after like....7 yrs...i still rem his bird-day. LOL!! how to forget manz..it's just one day after my own bird-day mahz. well...i improved. i used to rem his bird-day before remembering my own bird-day. but....yest i only rem-ed at 12pm. which to me is an achievement. LOL. so i immed smsed him happy bday of coz. and we had a decent conversation revolving ard e fact tt i haven't graduated, he's still back at crez and he's waiting for me to join them and how i do not wish to teach in a gd sch and how he hasn't seen me for forever and we shld meet up soon and summing it off...i promised to buy him dinner with my first paycheck. nice, decent, adult-ish convo. actually it's funny how sometimes i feel like my life is themed. e theme for e last wk=corn. well...i contributed to e theme by suddenly remembering a song that he sang back then and looking it up. and more amazingly...i ran into his best fren aka. carrot last tues. at clementi central! like woah...running into someone in sg is damn rare. it's e first time i've seen carrot since corn's wedding. and 2nd time since i grad. then i was like stunned and all i cld think of was 'carrot!'. couldn't even rem his real name so tt i cld say hi. LOL!
anyway...as usual...1st apr is a depressing day for me. and after wishing corn happy bday. i actually boarded e wrong bus. -_-. ended up at e wrong part of sch. sat thru a lect during which i learnt nth coz i was feeling too stoned. had to meet qi for dinner to take my mind off things. felt like tearing e whole day for no definite reasons. finally i got myself to cry watching a not-sad-at-all chn 8 serial. LOL!! and went to sleep at midnite coz really too stoned. and i cldn't get to sleep coz i had tt sea-sick feeling tt stuck to me sometimes when i think of corn. it's quite illogical coz it started when i was at pulau ubin and watching him on a ship departing from e island following which i got seasick and had to go into e sick bay of OBS. which didn't make sense coz though i was on e island...i was on land. LOL!!! it makes even less sense now since i didn't even look at e sea. -_-. LOL! but it's a feeling tt stuck. then i realized tt i acquired so many lil habits from corn's time. things tt stuck both gd and bad.
but i really do owe him a meal...i think i owe him 1million meals. coz w/o him....i cldn't possibly have become what i am today.
and i guess that my themed wk made me realize many things abt what i felt then...what i feel now and e vast differences. which i will summarize in my next blog. LOL!