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mood: usual state of ignorant, nonchalant happiness.
happier today listening to music and coz i'm going out with my fav gals later to celebrate xmas with kbox and dinner. =) har! e guy who made me angry did try to ask me out today but i nvr agree to pei him! har!! and this was before he made me angry..coz honestly i meeting my gals mahz. LOL. and wah..blog until very xin ku coz must make sure tt i dun say e name out. but of coz i won't tell him i'm angry until he finishes his work on hand for e club. i'm such a considerate angry gal. -_-. coz after all i'm not angry with e club but e person. hopefully by then i'm not angry le.
alot of things tt i'm bu shuang abt bahz..but i have other things to think abt...like my happy day later. and wat songs to sing later....like very long nvr sing so abit out of touch le...and thinking abt my eth comm...specifically thinking abt pub...quite buang...thinking who to ask coz no one seems to noe who i can approach also. and stupid ys can only think of ritch...he's not even in sg lahz...although he can still do from hk...think my mian zi so big mehz. then i dunno whether to approach yz after e top3 saga then really no one le mahz. really hope that someone will pop up!!!! >_<. last day of recruitment le...really must hope and pray very hard.
okie...i go out le!! and i'll try to forget e whole stupid angry thing.
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utterly baffling why i'm ranked on tblog's hot blogs when i dun blog tt much/dun think tt many ppl read my blog. but it says tt i have 80000+ visits. if they are indeed by spam bots...everyone shld get them and i wldn't be on some hot blogs thing mahz...cannot understand...
anyway now i'm bored and sneezing and feeling dumpy. =X. since last nite bahz..if i am *pffft* my froggu...my mood shld be sth like 'at the bottom of e lake' pet 1 time(s) in the last 30 days...LOL! okie..exaggerating..been in a sianz mood since last nite...so i shld still have say 314 pets...sounds like a gd number...just tt i'm used to having 534 pets or sth. LOL! okie..so my life is half-bad.
basically coz 4 very sianz things happened.
1. was supposed to meet T for breakfast..but i was late so i smsed to ask if he'll be early/late/on time..he said very slightly late so i cabbed to sch forsaking my part is my self-coined 'silent boycott of taxis in sg'. since nowadays i see like 5 to 6 taxis at a single second. LOL. all within my field of vision at the same moment...and i was proud of e phenomena but i broke my boycott and in e end...he did a detour to go buy 70cents masking tape. somemore he bought 24 of them. so i ended up cabbing then waiting half an hr for him. i was super hungry lahz..but as usual i dun eat alone..so i sat in front of e stalls at e canteen since i dun have clubrm key yet and waited for him. -_-. i am e typical example of someone who can die from starvation when surrounded by food. so finally at 950 he appeared when my interview is at 10. -_-. then 1 min after he appeared...gh appeared le and lucky gh got himself a free lunch coz T was so guilty leaving me there for half an hr though i din tell him tt i cabbed. -_-. kill him lahz! then finally i stuffed e breakfast into my face and went for interview but e interviewee was late and smsed gh who din tell me but watched me stuff my face. -_-. then when i told T and laogong who came ard tt me and gh go off first coz interview's at 10 he also nvr say nvm coz e interviewee late. LOL!!! super funny. but e interviews were great..just tt me and gh were starving at e end of it and e funniest thing was tt he was starving and he knew it but i didn't...until we reached e bus stop then i told him tt i'm hungry...after he finished his old chang kee -_-. LOL!! a hungry stomach puts u in a cranky mood
2. i told T tt i'm going to watch lust caution. and he told e whole world. -_-. i was already abit pissed with his reaction when i told him and baffled by his reaction. and he still had to tell e whole world. at least gh understands e artistic nature of e film style lorz. or at least he din say anything abt it. stupid laogong kept telling everyone tt i'm going to watch porn. then he and T cursed me and my show-going..end up...tix sold out. grrrrrrrrrrrr. so now everyone in e clubrm thinks tt i'm going to go watch porn. and e clubrm was full of e S-L-P and comserv day OC lahz!!!!!!!!!!
3. cash order bounced. and tt cash order was from DnD which was in sept...in dec still settling the thing. so e very sianz me informed SZ abt it and he was very sianz too...so we ended up as two sianz and hence cranky ppl.
4. then someone made me even more sianz. we were just having our usual normal conversation abt how he loves kids then he started telling me stories abt how he tames the kids. so i did my normal thing of telling him tt if i cannot ctrl my kids in future..i'll send them to him. then he did a rather normal thing of saying tt i'm good with teens mahz...so each have our specialities...so i did e next normal thing of offering to befren his teens in future. then he did e abnormal thing of saying tt he wants to tell me sth but hope i dun get e wrong idea. then i said tt he can just say and i won't. then he niu niu nie nie for super long which made me quite sianz coz i was settling e cash order thing then i told him 'then dun say lor' LOL. but he kept wanting to say but wanting to beat ard e bush. so finally he said tt in tt case we can just have one kid ourselves. then he started nui-ing abt dunno y he got e idea. so i told him tt he got it coz he's lazy to move e kids ard. -_-. then he started nui-ing again...so i just told him tt i won't get e wrong idea (though i did get some ideas coz of his earlier actions in some other stuff) coz i noe his idea of e ideal gf mahz (which makes me more sianz coz i rem some earlier times when he started trying to get me to do things tt e ideal wld do but i won't). but anyway!! aiyoh..conclusion i was already quite sianz. then after tt he started telling me tt ideals change mahz...so i cannot say tt his ideals won't. like so much for not giving me e wrong idea..LOL!! but really...i still dun get e wrong idea. then he said tt he only has 1 ideal which is for someone who can pei him and make him happy. -_-. which sounds like everyone tt i know actually. so i told him tt that's not an ideal at all. then he asked wat's my ideal so i gave e usual answer tt i've had for forever which is e gan jue. then he said e most sianz-ing thing i've heard in 2007 i think. he said tt gan jue also no use...just look at me at ritch. -_-!!!! wah..cld have slapped him. then he tried to sell his ideal to me. -_-. but i still believe in e gan jue. then he said tt now he noes y i'm single. then i said tt i believe tt i will find a gan jue tt works one day mahz. and he said tt i won't. -_-.
he better not ask me out e next 1 mth...i'll make sure tt i dun pei him. okie..i admit tt i forgot abt being angry this afternoon coz he smsed me tt he's sick and tt he's at e doc so i asked if he's at his family doc which is like 3mins from my place. asked with e intention of dropping by to say hi bahz. gosh. i will remember not to pei him. hmph. angry. shit...i really abit angry. when i'm so seldom angry...grrrrrr. and i cannot complain abt him to e ppl ard us. grrrrrrrrr.
gosh..i really am angry...and i dunno y i'm angry. am i angry coz he mentioned ritch? am i angry coz of his so non-magical ideal? but why wld i be angry over e non-magicality of his ideal? but e conclusion is still e same. i am soooo not going to pei him for 1 mth. no lunch/dinner/supper/movie /window-shopping/helping him with his stuff physically for one mth! or i make sure tt i pei him and make him super unhappy. bleahz.
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quite abit of work done today for clem...=). jiayou! and i've been having cool ideas recently...my latest brainwave is to use my first paycheck to buy a budget airline tix for a flight 3 yrs later...coz!! tt's when my bond end. LOL!!!!!! hope tt i get to noe my fellow m0eta ppl well enuf to embark on this adventure. =D.
besides tt...happy tt grace dear's coming back tmr...really miss her...and her mom's real nice and invited me and rubz to stay for dinner...haven't seen grace dear's family in ages too..=D will be a fun day. and it made me realized how diff i am from my mom...in my mom's whole life...she hasn't ever visited someone else's home except for CNY..LOL. she doesn't like going to the homes of others..i'm like e opposite!!!! i love going to ppl's homes. i wld visit anyone at their homes anytime! i dunno y..but i just love e homes of others. and i love mine too..which explains why i have stayed home for 2 days straight. =D.
i realized tt i miss someone a lil. gosh. maybe it will go away...kinda wish it wld coz i'm scared tt i wld buang and kinda wish it wouldn't coz i miss e feeling. but ppl who are super do-gooders are really scary. coz anything tt goes wrong...must indeed be my fault and i noe tt it would be. but it's time to think less...=)
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really really gd wk!!!! e hols rox.
thurs:
met my ex tutee and had fun coz she told me so much abt her future plans...feel so young again just sharing her excitement. and e funniest part was tt my ex-tutee came with an xmas pres!!!!!!!! and i din buy anything..like oops!! but it was a really lucky day coz my mom was packing the cupboard and she found souvenirs tt i got from thailand like 5 yrs ago. and she started to nag telling me to give them out over xmas. LOL!! so i took a notebk out with me tt day to give to my ex-tutee...so heng!! such a lucky gal.
fri:
meeting! it was fun too actually. got myself coke to drink during e meeting, got to hear lx talk and talk...machiam lx's speech when papabird chaired e meeting..LOL!! actually on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of successful meetings...i think it was a 4. and can tell tt er zi wasn't very happy abt some stuff...so abit tense. but i enjoyed e meeting alot coz i dun think tt it's impt whether it's successful as much as it also provided an opp for us to get tgt!! i was happy to be next to my pah-jie-meis. =). and we even took a photo! and also coz tiong was so crazy during meeting..he kept asking wat's my post in eth. -_-. i dun like to intro liddat mahz. and we managed to keep laughing at lx's great speeches. and of coz there was e supper after e meeting which meant tt i got home at midnite with a stomach full of popiah and teh bing! my favs!!!
sat:
cool day! went to B gardens. WAH!!!!!!! nvr hear trav talk so much. really makes a diff when u need to talk coz of ur authority. e amt of words he uttered in tt half a day is e more than e amt tt i heard for e entire duration of me knowing him. gosh. very very surprisingly, some of e residents remember me! after like half a yr. we ended up walking ard and ard B gardens...quite tiring lehz but i think e residents enjoyed themselves. e funniest thing is e pub team. this yr they really very enthu..like roaming cameras everywhere. gosh..it was like a major mediacorp production. abit worried coz i dunno if i did anything stupid tt's caught on film. LOL. but really very fun. then i went for bubble tea coz my silly eeee zi (clem chair) was supposed to meet his fren for shopping and had an hr free. then i realized tt i'm so used to drinking sweettalk bubble tea tt i think e cool station pearls are weird. but anyway...i realized tt i got 2 drinks treat in 2 consecutive days...both teh bings just tt e more atas place calls it milk tea. LOL!!
sun: finally got to rest after one wk...........tired. *snores* join eth!!!!!!!!
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had a great wk so far...it's e feeling of e hols!
mon:
was supposed to go sentosa with rubz, rubz mom and e 2 kids tt they're looking after - ernie and xinxin. but...i was raining..-_-. so we had a picnic at vivo!! LOL...like inside vivo! in front of e shops eating nonsense like seaweed and sandwiches and potato chips. experience of a lifetime manz..picnic at the most atas shopping centre of sg...then i was really happy when random kids came over to say hi/play?? like so funny..LOL...it's like a playhouse in e mall.
and after our lil picnic...e kids went to go hit on the horse/giraffe-y things at the kids playgrd..it's like e new version of e cars and motorbikes tt we used to hit on as kids...quite cool..and there was some shopping and food republic hokkein mee! =). e hokkein mee made me miss my comservclub frens...esp family...coz when there are prawns..someone will surely take mine off me...whether it's gluttony ritch who wld toss me his carbos and take my dishes or it's nu-er who will chide me or tiong who will peel e prawns for me and make me eat them. miss family.
but it was indeed a great day...feels like e first day of hols..really started with a bang..esp coz xinxin so cute..kiss my knee and say tt i'm beautiful..LOL. i'm so crazy over lil gals! gosh. anyway ernie damn porno...traumatised me with his great knowledge in e realm of sex and in particular homosexuality...amazing how many porno movies and youtube he has watched. -_-. and he's like 10 yrs old or sth and telling me things tt i dunno..LOL. gosh. used to think tt rubz corrupts the kids..but i'm wrong ahz..i think rubz is being corrupted by e kids..LOL!!!
very cute day! =D
tues:
met my dearest gals...all 3 of them!!! ting qi shan...finally all of us are free...always short of one person when we meet..but finally full le! =D. talked quite abit and we took photos...like quite alot of photos...coz i'm trying to use their beauty to seem more ugly...then i can show e photo to this clem youth. LOL. decided tt to solve the prob...i shall have to look less pretty to him. so obviously must show him all e pretty ppl mahz! smart rite?
anyway it was a gd day and i managed to do some xmas shopping. =D. realized tt i always feel like i seldom see my gals.. sigh...poor us. anyway shan graduating in june!! and qi's having her driving test soon..feels like we're almost grown-up...gd and bad bahz..looking fwd to sitting in qi's car for a lunch treat by shan. me and ting so xin fu..LOL!! and my dearest gals and me came up with e idea of a frenship-scholarship. say they all start work le..they'll consider offering me a scholarship for further studies..then i come back and repay them..LOL. so kampung. *tears*
wed:
that's today!! i met shan again to pass her her very long overdued bday pres and we talked some nonsense abt her plans after grad...made me feel so old again. realized tt it's indeed abit pessimistic to leave sch with hons in psych esp when it's not from nus. but of coz we have our frenship scholarship..=). shan for masters! =D.
oooooo..spent e rest of my day sleeping mostly. great, gratifying sleep. =D.
meeting my ex-tutee for lunch tmr...miss her. =). sweet tutees aren't easy to find..but i've met a couple...really very lucky.
anyway...i finished another ou xiang ju..it's e korean 'My Girl'..=D. really nice. towards e end...e guy was looking for e gal for 2 yrs and e gal nvr forgot the guy either. it made me wonder if at the end of may...he will just be a normal fren. 1/3 of the 10mths have passed....i still hope tt one day when i get home tired from running camp trials i will see him beneath my block waiting to tell me tt it was a lie. perhaps from now till then...someone will be able to pull me away...such that i can see someone else in that way. i really think in very ou xiang ju ways...too idealistic bahz...but i've always been a lucky gal...wondering if i have enuf gd karma to meet a successful ou xiang ju kinda love. so abit gan shang these few nites though my days very happening..LOL!!
then tonite i started thinking abt this fren...who seems to show a different personality to me and other frens. and i wonder if it's bcoz i make him comfy enuf to shed his defenses and makes me wonder how to help him see some things. makes me wonder..frenship can be complex too..=)
oooo..looking fwd to tmr and sat....okie..must look fwd to fri too..cannot discriminate against comserv meetings. jiayou!!
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perhaps yest was a lifechanging day in my life. LOL!!
1. realized tt prof z's married and i requested to see e photos of his kids....SOOOOOO cute! they look like apples. esp e gal is super cute. bias. LOL! and e bbq was totally fun! coz e place was teeming with funny ppl. like e yr 1 and this guy named wj who was abit drunk w/o drinking alcohol...all he did was smell it. and he was babbling nonsense e whole nite..so super funny. and i realized tt prof z wld make a very gd fren coz he laughs at e same jokes as me! and he laughs at my jokes. tt's an essential quality for a fren in my opinion at least! anyway..FREN! yea!!!!
2. after settling the prof z thing...so funny...my youth from cleme came and told me tt i'm pretty. wth. LOL!! from too old to too young. then he started telling me tt he won't tell this other bfriender tt she's quite pretty too coz she's not his gf..like diaoz..then tell me for wat..LOL! then he started asking me if i'm attached, my age etc then started sighing. but okie lahz! sigh means tt i'm soo old. pity. LOL!! but e best part came later...when he suddenly told me all abt his love life...like huh. LOL!! coz he's a youth who seldom confides abt anything..all he talks abt is gaming together with e other youths come to think of it..nth much abt sch either except his pride at going on to sec3 and wearing long pants. LOL! so amazing tt i'm like parked online waiting for my social worker to tell him abt it! he'll be so excited too.
3. then of coz e first 2 can't lifechanging at all! LOL!! but e 3rd pt is..really! prof z suddenly asked abt my post-grad plans so i told him abt my teaching bond. then he said tt i shld consider masters and phd. LOL!! it felt so wth. then i took e nite to think abt it...actually i do like reading and doing research for projs and i like writing...suddenly abit swayed. somemore prof z say until like so easy...all his connections to US unis...e funniest part was still when he told me tt e dept gives a scholarship for e top student...wth. i almost died laughing and i had to point out the million other ppl doing better than me. but i realized suddenly tt hmmmm...i nvr tot abt a phd for myself ever...my parents have nvr tot abt someone from the family getting a phd since most don't graduate anyway. but suddenly...it became a possibility bahz. really food for thought.