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i forgot to write abt my very weird dream!!!
in reality right...since e day tt me and laogong went to bukit merah to buy e cake for tiong's bday...and they were gushing over how nice e donuts at e shop were...i've been wanting to go there and buy a donut or sth...LOL. *pig*. anyway that translated into my dream..
i was apparently on my way home in e afternoon from somewhere when i decided to go in e oppo direction to bukit merah to get e donuts...so i boarded an SBS bus which drove super fast...finally e bus made a weird turn into some forested area tt was really dark...and i kept wanting to get off the bus..and finally i got off e bus in e middle of a forest trail but i din noe where to go or what to do..so i followed e bus hoping tt it will enter a lighted path
finally e bus reached this oil rig area which was completely dark..it was night there...like eternal night in this particular part of sg. then e bus drove into e oil rig itself by going up a ramp then disappearing into e rig and ppl started screaming...finally everyone seemed to have gotten out of e bus and all e ppl working at e oil rig were saying tt they wld have to call IMH coz e driver was mad.
end of dream. LOL!!! i can't believe tt i even dream of IMH. oops.
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i finished an assignment!! finished e biblio part finally....due today but i guess tt since e time's not stated...it's due at midnight?? which means i'm 12 hrs early in completion!!! achievement!! =D. though i really really hope tt my report is factually correct since i din check e credits for e film but insisted tt e director got bits from a particular newsletter...LOL!!! like oops...luckily i finally got e biblio for another film i watched tt credited e newsletter and i THINK tt e fragments are e same. LOL!!! praying hard manz!!!
i think i must be becoming more hardworking? i studied for 3.5 hrs at e library e other day too!!!! life's always so amazing. or maybe i'm just easily amazed. LOL. i'm going to go do my farm report and then pray tt e deadline is postponed. that way...i wld have finished my work super early!! =D. and i guess tt i can insert photos into my work too...which makes me a happy gal. since i finally got my camera and took many many photos!!
it feels as if i did have a hol after all. given tt i skipped lect today..=D and i'm considering skipping sch tmr too and going for e make-up tut...and best of all?? i dun feel sick le!! LOL. just thinking of skipping so tt i can have e hol tt i missed. and of coz...in case i'm infectious...u nvr noe!! i may become a supercarrier for some ultra resilient virus and get my face plastered on newspapers...i shld have civic-consciousness yah? ;). but i wld be sad going for tut with unknown ppl..=(. shall consider...feel like bouncing ard!! LOL.
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hohoho!! i'm crazy now..coz i survived yest! e sickiest day of my life which culmulated into a trip to A&E, puking on e SGH floor and having ppl scurry away from me. sitting in a wheelchair, being unable to keep awake, multiple injections in my hand and butt, a blood test and an IV drip! and i got to sleep on a hospital bed in e fever zone next to e critical care unit. was quite amused though...coz whenever someone goes into critical care..he will start shouting and screaming and all e nurses will run over to critical care coz someone will shout from inside 'i need someone to restrain him'. made me wonder what they do in critical care. LOL.
and e freakiest thing was tt i must have somehow killed my drip when i went to e toilet...probably some pressure thing..coz e water tt was supposed to drip into my vein was off and my blood was flowing into e drip's tube kinda thing..super freaky!! LOL. e doctors and nurses were really really nice though. =D. and i learnt something amazing...A&E is expensive when u're not too sick. coz my previous trip there just got me a consultation and a few types of medicine and costed me $90. i had 5 hrs of sleep in e hospital, multiple injections, drip, really cool medicine e.g. rehydration salts...also $90. moral of e story...the world is a weird place. LOL.
anyway i must be really really sick...coz e doc gave me MC till tues. tt's like 3 days of staying home? really glad i survived. almost died at home lahz...coz i haven't puked since sec 1..maybe i dunno how to puke properly but i kept choking at home while i puked. it was damn freaky..damn damn freaky. and i considered asking shan over just to make sure tt i dun die. LOL. and i had to frantically look for a place where i can go see a doc and i cldn't contact my dad coz i can't speak (since i was too busy puking) and i cld only sms but he doesn't know how to check his smses. -_-. but really happy coz i've got such gd frens like shan who kept asking if i'm okie, tiong who offered to carry me to e hospital which got me laughing...cannot imagine coz it made me think of SR who cldn't lift up jenny during our cluedo trials. and ppl like beni and grace who offered to wait with me while i see e doc. super lucky to have such gd frens!!
and u noe wat?? i'm alive!! YEA!
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went for my film proj meeting today..went exceptionally well. and i do love e film tt we're going to make. it's totally coolz...inspiring even. LOL...makes me consider becoming a director. =D.
but abit sad coz YL suddenly told me sth tt i wish i didn't noe...but oh well...really sorry abt back then. coz...i guess tt from my viewpt...i nvr truly got to know vin nor did i ever truly understood the magnitude of what he felt. i guess tt today i realized tt e guy whom i brushed off as some freaky senior who stalked me was truly just a nice guy who wanted to show me concern in case i get lost in sch as a yr 1 bahz. and wat i tot was just some superficial, sudden head-over-heels kinda love from him was more than that just tt i nvr really asked or tried to understand. when YL told me today tt vin once called liang and cried over e situation made me realize tt there were really many things tt vin did and tt vin felt that i nvr knew and probably there are many more that i wld nvr noe. too late to say sorry i guess...since he's in japan now and prob will be there for some yrs to come.
perhaps i was mean not coz i did mean things but simply coz i did nothing.
i guess it's karma. i thought of it on e way to YL's house today and wat he told me abt vin kinda furthered my theory i guess. perhaps i'm meant to shed as much tears as e amount tt i made other shed for me. guess tt things in life would balance itself out. i guess tt i'm at best halfway there.
~feeling tired and not looking forward to my wk which is supposedly e mid-sem break. i'm gonna be having proj meetings and filmings like every day of this wk.
~i have a craving for HL milk.
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recently...been feeling abit sad bahz...bcoz i gradually realized tt i am just a retarded individual who din feel sad back then. maybe i started out confident that i will leave it behind as easily as i picked it up. but i was wrong. i din choose to pick it up so inevitably even if i decide to put it down, it's still stuck to me. i guess it all started coz of stupid tiong who was depressed and dragged me to a movie. i guess it started with the movie. 'Secret'..yah..e jay chou movie tt was slightly sad...then it cumulated into what it is today fueled by my retarded responses. i'm not sad in a hysterical way...it's just a very simple, pokey kinda sadness.
perhaps it's coz u really took me to too many places, perhaps coz there were so many new experiences...that everytime i take the bus, every expressway seems to remind me of you. the route home makes me think of you. even the neighbourhood..my last line of defense, my very own territory is inscribed with your presence or rather, your absence.
i honestly dunno y i'm so retarded. only feel sad one month later.
i suddenly realized the other day why i fell so hard. coz it really was like a fairytale while it lasted at least. i realized tt i tend to fall for guys who seem aloof to most of the world. the kind that won't put up a fake front and would just keep a distance from ppl if they're not close to begin with. it just seems amazing tt suddenly this aloof figure would talk to me, would care for me, would stand up for me.
maybe i watch too much tv drama serials.
but i still believe in fairy tales......
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gosh...i blog so irregularly these days but it's coz i've been too busy watching vcds!! like oops. but guess wat i'm studying in e library now!! can u believe it? e lib looks uber cool (at least this part)...LOL. i'm like sitting in front of bound journals!! and i had to ask e librarian where e journals were coz it wasn't on e signboard. -_-. like how jialat for a yr 3.
anyway...i really did find a treasure trove. feel like reading all e nonsense but my bks are due soon so i'm like wading thru them. =D. my days have been okie. i spend my life trying to be inconspicious in front of prof Z, trying to study and stop watching vcds. LOL. at e very least i kicked an internet addiction? sorry to all those ppl who dun see me online much anymore..=(. i miss u ppl too..but i miss my vcds too!! oops.
anyway...nth much bahz..maybe too long nvr blog le...cannot really put my thoughts into words..but i need to holler that i'm alive. at least i think i am!
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my days whirled past once again.
fri: got into e library at 815am. like HELLO!! LOL. no choice. i had to watch a film before my tut for my film mod. it's really funny how everyone stared at me coz i borrowed a malay film. racist manz. i noe malays who watch chi films lahz. anyway...it was damn damn damn damn funny. totally hilarious coz of e 1960s plot, bad acting and cheesy music. e acting was SUPER bad. LOL. ask me for demos.
prep for DnD. LOL..rush rush rush. but i'm really touched tt we all came together to rush. =D. sense of family-ness bahz. =D.
sat: went to sch early coz silly dan booked e rm at 9am. -_-. so we had to be inside then or we will have to move all our things out on fri night. thus my poor PD was in e rm with like a few hundred dollars worth of prizes. so i decided to be nice and go jaga abit for him too..so tt at least he can go toilet. thus...i put on my dress and made my way to sch lahz. at like.....12pm and everyone stared at me..prob coz they are typically PRCs in shorts and t-shirt who just finished/are going to/taking a break from chionging in e library. -_-. i guess no one wears dresses to sch on sats.
anyway i had alot of fun playing alot of neopets. oops. and borrowed e projector from comservice..which meant tt i walked over to yih and back in my dress. i dun mind feeling alienated and weird going ard sch for gs. LOL!! awwww.
e deco was just mad...rush rush rush again. but super fun. nvr knew how artistic i can be. until fri and sat when i realized tt i can wrap gifts, write nice 'congratulations' on cards and i can tinsel-ize tables. and i realized tt i really am someone who takes shortcuts in life. instead of using one chair and having e person get off to move it to e next spot. i just get two chairs so tt he can step over to e next then i move e first chair to e next spot. like some poison river game...oops. LOL. efficient k. and i also discovered my murderous tendencies coz e scissors were in e car, i needed tape and i can't tear it. i used a fork. -_-. resourceful but murderous.
finally e profs came!! as usual prof Z freaked me out with him striking up a convo with me and how he answered e 'wat mods are u teaching this sem' qn by e emcee saying tt i wld noe. -_-. wat kinda ans is tt?? anyway besides tt i fell in love with prof H's son!!!! who's i think 3 yrs old. oops. LOL. super super cute...we played with balloons!! =D.
then me and shirly discussed y e guy who performed won mr NU5. damn funny. from her 1970s version of beauty to my yr 2000 sense of beauty...we felt tt he's above avg definitely but prob not drop-dead gorgeous. LOL!!! imagine...me and my HOD gossiping abt a guy. -_-. LOL!!! then me and prof C tried to play some silly game while they sang 'hit me baby one more time'. everytime e line appeared i wld hit my new prez. BUT!! i felt this overwhelming urge to give prof C a whack. and finally i did. he nvr got e chance to whack me back. shirly kept laughing. we had SOOOOO much fun lahz. LOL.
then silly ZY, our emcee got drunk and started pushing me from e back asking me to take a photo with him claiming tt i hadn't. but of coz i had. LOL!!! so we took photos again. how do i noe he's drunk?
1. he pushed me damn hard from e back and din realize it.
2. he grabbed my waist and pulled me darn close when is uncharacteristic of him (he prob got drunk and believed tt he's back in paris and tt i'm an ang moh...LOL!!)
3. he grabbed more random ppl everytime a photo was taken. so we took like 5 or 6 photos...and with each successive photo there's abt 1 or 2 more amused ppl in e frame grabbed by him. LOL!!!
of coz..he claimed to be not drunk and subsequently lost his balance. LOL!!!!
soon after...we were all at e carpark...like 9 of us. why? coz dan made me move log to e carpark and later realized tt he din have his car key coz mr himbo NU5 took it back to hall. -_-. so we had to wait for himbo to return. while e rest tried to get ZY outta e carpark to hail a cab. but he cldn't even stand by then though he kept trying. funniest thing was tt by then he lost his ability to speak eng. and was instead spewing french. -_-. and we kept telling him tt we dun understand a word. this is wat a yr-long SEP does to u. manifested in drunken stupor.
finally 2 of them hailed a cab and got e cab into e carpark but e driver saw ZY and told them to get out. LOL. finally we got a cab thru a phone booking..e driver looked damn sianz to see e crawling ZY too. who was pinned to e ground by little me. i helped to prop him up too k. i am strong!!!! wheeee. he's like 1.87m lahz. damn heavy. anyway...coz e cab driver looked sianz...erv did e funniest thing ever. he stepped forward and slapped ZY!! like SLAP. like PIAK...super loud somemore...reveberated in e carpark manz. but ZY just continued in his jolly world. LOL!! tt's wat half a bottle of jack daniels do to ppl i guess.
then finally they were off and mr NU5 himbo was back. LOL. okie lahz...quite shuai but really damn himbo. super funny. he came back all 'sorry brother!!' and stuff.. LOL. and we got onto e car...we left like dhoby ghaut. then me and val dear discussed e evening. before i knew it... i was at AYE heading towards jurong?? so i tot tt maybe we were dropping himbo off since he's going back to hall. but no..we exited at commonwealth. -_-. then i started wondering where we were headed since val stays in hougang and commonwealth is like in e middle of nowhere. then we went towards queenstown and himbo asked 'is tt queenstown mrt station?' and i said yes. -_-. after commonwealth of coz queenstowns...besides all e rd signs say queenstown. LOL. how himbo can a himbo get?! anyway..then e mystery was revealed. they were headed for my house. -_-!!!!!! and himbo said tt we shld head to queensway then SAJC then pasir panjang then telok blangah then i'll be home. -_-!!! hello!!! i live like a 15mins bus ride from dhoby ghaut lahz (based on traffic conditions at 11+pm). e car journey took me 40 mins. LOL!!!! thanks to himbo.
sun: poor poor tiong was depressed. so i met poor tiong for lunch thinking it's just lunch. so i wore my usual lok-kok tuition clothes i.e. cca shirt and 3/4 jeans. (i realized tt tt's wat i wear for comservice stuff too...oops!!) anyway after lunch..we ended up movie-ing coz he was damn damn depressed and wanted to watch 'secret' so we went. and we ate a damn lot of food lahz...i guess sad ppl like to eat and walk really slowly. finally he told me tt it's his bday. *alarmed* LOL!! and i ended up smsing my family to ask if they wanted to share e shirt tt he wanted to buy of which there was no size at e outlet so he din buy it. so i faked tt i went home but i went back to get e sales reps to call up e other outlets in sg. whole sg dun have his size. -_-. and my whole family din noe it's his bday. finally me, laogong and MT went bukit merah to buy him a cake to surprise him. but depressed ppl are weird. he din go home from PS but went instead to jurong east for dinner and i had to tell him tt i got depressed and needed to msn to lure him home lahz. but finally we surprised him!! he was super duper surprised. =D. who wouldn't be lahz..cake at e void deck and he din see us hiding there coz depressed ppl are kinda blind. LOL!!!! and we also cheered laogong up in e process!! laogong was depressed too. more serious though. existential despair..incurable one. laogong asked me wat's e meaning of life lahz. -_-. and he was sad tt he din noe. gosh. but we cured him by playing hopscotch while waiting for tiong and eating nice cake and talking cock. =D SUCCESS!! =D
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haven't blogged in 10 yrs...so i categorize my blog into 3 parts...LOL.
Recent healing of my palm.
one day, i looked at my palm (becoming a habit to stare at it for minutes on end) and realized tt e lines on it were re-emerging. and i got confirmation of it. i'm just a superstitious palmistry freak. and my weird life is back with a vengeance. SIGH! let's see...key happenings tt confirm wat e fortune teller told me abt my very exciting love life.
1. had a seemingly scandalous dealing with my prof tt involved whispers of me following him to his office and him passing me a nice package tt contained a bottle of alcohol. LOL!!! invited some curious stares. and i noe ppl who wld be jealous..;)
2. totally funny but some guy i noticed in yr 1 sem 1 suddenly decided to come sit next to me when there was no chair next to me!! LOL and he went to e front and din sit down but took e chair and came back. which resulted in us being in e same proj grp. k ahz! LOL. but nahz...i've grown up since yr 1 sem 1 yah. though getting to noe him confirmed a suspicion tt i've always had. weird ppl tend to fall for me...but i tend to fall for e weirdest ppl. LOL!!!
3. some guy whom i've seen ard but dun noe at all came up to me during LECT and called me by my name and asked if a thumbdrive belonged to me. seeing my confused look he said tt i was rumoured to have been printing stuff at e lab. LOL!!! like how amazing.
3. me and qiqi went for a drink at e canteen and we were walking ard when we saw wj from her bday party. so we went over to talk. then qiqi went off for lessons and left me there. -_-. given tt he had to slack ard for another 1.5hrs and he looked sad alone...i invited him to join me, C and J who were already in e gsrm. so we started walking along...then we ran into his fren. first qn he asked was 'are u a ge major?' -_-. stunned. so i assumed tt he's from ge and has seen me ard. but nop..he's from soci and he's a yr 2. saw me two yrs ago at matricfair. LOL!!!! damn weird. and e weirdest thing was tt they wanted dinner so i tot i cld escape. then they started asking me to join them -_-. and wldn't budge. so k ahz! we decided to go for dinner which was damn off coz i dun really noe wj and i dunno e other guy at all. LUCKILY!!! we went to yih and i saw e notices on 'grant' briefing so i made my escape.
4. i was moving log for 'grant' coz i happened to be ard and while i was at e bus stop guarding e stuff...some guy whom i dunno started to talk cock with me. LOL.
5. some other guy (freshie) whom i also dunno from eth..asked if i'm a freshie. -_-. and started to make strange observations abt me and claimed tt he's e cutest and smartest guy in sch. -_-. LOL!!! then he started to touch my earrings (e carriage and glass slipper ones) which made me slightly uncomfy coz e earrings were still hanging on my ears? but i just gave up lahz. i meet weird ppl mahz. LOL.
6. more small things tt i can't rem le.
okie...2nd part: schwork
only one thing to say...my cities3k is like dead. LOL!! i'm on my first wk2 reading and tut's tmr and i ponned e 2nd and 3rd lect. nth to say abt it.
3rd part le!!!!!! LOL. e part tt i most want to say:
i think it's really time i retire from comserviceclub. at least from bothering abt e MC and maybe e specialprojs. only thing holding me back is papabird. coz after encouraging him and telling him e killer-line he shld say and all e stuff abt how he cannot compete in terms of ideas and leadership but in terms of sincerity...i feel partly responsible for him landing in e MC. not saying tt it's a bad thing. just tt it's gonna be very very tough on him.
i guess tt overall...i was quite disheartened from elections. almost cried a number of times. mostly coz of papabird. coz he's really really very sincere. and when he and dr tied...dr had all e ideas but papabird only said one thing 'i love the club so i want to serve'. so simple and so touching. anyway...after he got elected me and laogong went over to hug him and all 3 of us felt so much like crying.
e other one was rather tears of sadness. coz i saw how W handled e qns with frivolity. remembered e things from e briefing and from e logrun that were blatantly obvious. how she failed to really answer e qns. how she was asked if there will be a cap on qing gong and she believed tt leftover budget shld go into an expensive qing gong coz otherwise it wld just go into e reserves. and i realized tt perhaps...her heart isn't really in e beneficiaries but rather in organizing fun things. coz who wldn't think of giving e money to e beneficiary in terms of cash or items? i just felt like crying then. angry tears coz...really...y wld i want to vote for someone who can't think of e beneficiary. and i finally interrupted herself and yw who kept prompting her and asked wat she tot abt giving e money to e beneficiary and finally she stopped for a moment and just gave an answer tt told me tt she's not seriously giving e matter thought: i.e. $10 or $15 lorz with a shrug. disheartened i guess...it felt like a chilly wind. maybe i'm just unlucky coz i saw her heck-careness towards her own 'grant' during e briefing and log-run
then i saw blatant politics...when a nice, poor yr 1 was blasted for having 2 ccas when he's not in e MC of e other and only plans to be in one of e OCs. and it all became quite ugly for me and laogong coz really...e pres and W have their industrial attachments....worth 1 sem of office hrs. this poor freshie has 1 meeting a wk and has already told e other side tt we come first. and it became even more ugly when e other guy who ran for director listed e same events as him but he din get shot down while this freshie did. what made it e most ugly was coz we knew tt 2 of e ppl (ie. W and YS) running wanted this other guy to get e job but nominations had closed. they shot like 70% of e qns to e freshie. really really chilly.
unsurprisingly....nu-er lost e position she wanted to YS. but she's meant to be co-opted. laogong hope tt she won't be. i dunno.
maybe...i'm really too old. maybe i've seen too much politics le. so i came home yest after e election and tuition, went to sleep and i woke up today not wanting to bother abt e club anymore.
so lil neutral ppl left tt i wld want to work with. i guess tt i can count e number with my 10 fingers.
saddened tt my family is like drifting apart from er-zi coz we support papabird while er-zi can't stop being mean to him. sad tt laogong and er-zi can't seem to agree on most things this days. sad tt kris stopped talking to e rest of e family excluding me...
old le. tired.