to grace
08.31.05 (4:30 am) [edit]
Grace
1. Grace...is randomly solitairish
2. song...teresa teng...since she sings tt well
3. huh?? wrestle for wat??
4. hey..i understand e 5, 6, 8 thing le...=D
5. sci soc president..lol
6. hmmm..human?? how can i reduce u to an animal?!!
7. wonder where u find all e love in ur heart to hold on to him
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
9. HEAD CHEESE BONUS: I will tell you how I imagine you in five years..prob a teacher too...all ur kids will love u..lol...dunnit to imagine..i'll just see u then!
play w/ me can... *starry eyez*
1. Grace...is randomly solitairish
2. song...teresa teng...since she sings tt well
3. huh?? wrestle for wat??
4. hey..i understand e 5, 6, 8 thing le...=D
5. sci soc president..lol
6. hmmm..human?? how can i reduce u to an animal?!!
7. wonder where u find all e love in ur heart to hold on to him
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
9. HEAD CHEESE BONUS: I will tell you how I imagine you in five years..prob a teacher too...all ur kids will love u..lol...dunnit to imagine..i'll just see u then!
play w/ me can... *starry eyez*
k
08.31.05 (4:25 am) [edit]
1. Gimmie your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
9. HEAD CHEESE BONUS: I will tell you how I imagine you in five years.
play w/ me can... *starry eyez*
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
9. HEAD CHEESE BONUS: I will tell you how I imagine you in five years.
play w/ me can... *starry eyez*
i need to
08.30.05 (5:24 am) [edit]
i need to... learn to understand things from e perspectives of others! That's my goal for e month of Sept! Jiayou!!! it's so so so nice to have a platonic fren who's a guy to gossip to..lol...thanks alex my best bug...when i am down..we can always bug ard together..lol WAIT! i need to add a goal for month of Sept to motivate my ppl...zzz..lol!! *i dun understand wat it means to say tt something is difficult. i dun understand wat it means to give up. therefore!!! u ppl cannot say difficult! As the malaysian govt said..KLCC is to rep e BOLEH attitude...so is my camp...lol..no tak boleh thankew...
zz
08.30.05 (3:26 am) [edit]
i have no idea y but i'm just not in a gd mood these days...wat happened to e happier me?? do u realise tt i am wilting away...will i be happier if we're not even frens?? i need my daily dose of insanity. wat happened to my love for e simple things??
everyday something just sets me off..but it u or my leadership stuff...sometimes...i wonder if i am just unable to fit in...wondering if i am perhaps too egoistic and sure of myself to realise tt to some...something tt requires half an hr of my time will require a day of theirs...maybe i have failed to recognise tt just as i criticize e widening income disparity and living standards of Singaporeans...i have distanced myself from my counterparts...
maybe tt's y U hold an attraction for me...our slackness coupled with our leadership and somehow doing well...maybe in my alienated world...only u can reach e me deep inside..and maybe tt's y i keep complaining tt vin treats me like a kid...maybe coz he simply cannot understand my lvl of thinking in many areas although he's older and he's trying to help...w/o realising tt sometimes i dun need it.
i just hope these all goes away...far far away...
everyday something just sets me off..but it u or my leadership stuff...sometimes...i wonder if i am just unable to fit in...wondering if i am perhaps too egoistic and sure of myself to realise tt to some...something tt requires half an hr of my time will require a day of theirs...maybe i have failed to recognise tt just as i criticize e widening income disparity and living standards of Singaporeans...i have distanced myself from my counterparts...
maybe tt's y U hold an attraction for me...our slackness coupled with our leadership and somehow doing well...maybe in my alienated world...only u can reach e me deep inside..and maybe tt's y i keep complaining tt vin treats me like a kid...maybe coz he simply cannot understand my lvl of thinking in many areas although he's older and he's trying to help...w/o realising tt sometimes i dun need it.
i just hope these all goes away...far far away...
wheee
08.29.05 (4:28 am) [edit]
okie..i have to admit i am freaking efficient...i came up with my camp jobscope and camp skeleton in half an hr..lol...so i nicely asked 2 seniors for advice before i send out e thing...they haven't even read it yet..been a day...says they're busy....sianz sianz...efficiency undermined ANYWAY...cool cool...shld be going back JC tmr...=) anyone miss me??? think my life is filling up again...next wk i have volunteer stuff mon to thurs...mngment meeting on fri.. =D laptop is trying to revive itself...a slow process..hope it works out... ppl are simply too nice to me..and i miss HIM..oh no...
HOWEVER...on e bright side prob less frenless days..
btw derek says he'll accompany me when i'm alone since he's always in sch anyway...cheers!! BYE to frenless days!! WELCOME a schedule filled life!! YEA
.
08.28.05 (4:01 pm) [edit]
okie...i have to say something..this is not exactly a gd month for my possessions...lol...
i broke/spoilt:
2 dragonflies from my dragonfly slippers
1 butterfly from my butterfly wedges
1 highlighter
1 T43 laptop tt is only less than a month old
1 mp3player (now it has a rather...hmmm big gash across its face)
1 top tt i really like (e colour of this string thing on it ran...and another string thing feather drop one...)
Not too bad yah?? i'm just glad this month is coming to an end
Plus point: Tues and Thurs no sch!!!!! YEA
i broke/spoilt:
2 dragonflies from my dragonfly slippers
1 butterfly from my butterfly wedges
1 highlighter
1 T43 laptop tt is only less than a month old
1 mp3player (now it has a rather...hmmm big gash across its face)
1 top tt i really like (e colour of this string thing on it ran...and another string thing feather drop one...)
Not too bad yah?? i'm just glad this month is coming to an end
Plus point: Tues and Thurs no sch!!!!! YEA
why.
08.28.05 (12:56 am) [edit]
why shld i be thinking abt u?? it's not like u might like me?? things cld get complicated...*shakes head violently* i like my well categorized love life as of now...no more ambiguous beings pls..
anyway i'm quite broke now too...pls Grace...dun rob me *sobz*
lol..best bug's asking me who's e guy now...shhhh..secret =)
anyway i'm quite broke now too...pls Grace...dun rob me *sobz*
lol..best bug's asking me who's e guy now...shhhh..secret =)
why.
08.28.05 (12:55 am) [edit]
why shld i be thinking abt u?? it's not like u might like me?? things cld get complicated...*shakes head violently* i like my well categorized love life as of now...no more ambiguous beings pls..
anyway i'm quite broke now too...pls Grace...dun rob me *sobz*
lol..best bug's asking me who's e guy now...shhhh..secret =)
anyway i'm quite broke now too...pls Grace...dun rob me *sobz*
lol..best bug's asking me who's e guy now...shhhh..secret =)
.
08.27.05 (4:48 am) [edit]
沉迷
梁咏琪 Leung, Gigi [ 档案 | 大碟 | MV | Flash | 写真 ]
顺时针 第 10 首
风华唱片2005年5月
点击浏览该大碟的 它歌词
曲： | 词： | 编：
我循着我爱的方向 转弯吗 我迷惑
没有谁的错 不等谁开口 月光指引我应该回
我的脚步 太重 她的歌声让我动容 使我犯错
眼神闪烁 你美的让我失去了 我
我离不开你设的牢 承认 我没用 情愿
住在漆黑的角落 转个弯我不回来 眼睛睁不开
明天 一样精采 勇敢爱 你美的让我失去了 我
我离不开你设的牢 天空 也笑我 为爱
沉迷没有用 夜美的凄凉受尽了 磨
日出不再来世界变 漠 承认 我没用 情愿
住在漆黑的角落 守在你冰凉的背后
i dun want...nononono...
梁咏琪 Leung, Gigi [ 档案 | 大碟 | MV | Flash | 写真 ]
顺时针 第 10 首
风华唱片2005年5月
点击浏览该大碟的 它歌词
曲： | 词： | 编：
我循着我爱的方向 转弯吗 我迷惑
没有谁的错 不等谁开口 月光指引我应该回
我的脚步 太重 她的歌声让我动容 使我犯错
眼神闪烁 你美的让我失去了 我
我离不开你设的牢 承认 我没用 情愿
住在漆黑的角落 转个弯我不回来 眼睛睁不开
明天 一样精采 勇敢爱 你美的让我失去了 我
我离不开你设的牢 天空 也笑我 为爱
沉迷没有用 夜美的凄凉受尽了 磨
日出不再来世界变 漠 承认 我没用 情愿
住在漆黑的角落 守在你冰凉的背后
i dun want...nononono...
wheee
08.27.05 (3:25 am) [edit]
General behavior:
Aries (the ram) loves freedom, and will accept any challenge. You will get impatient if your ideas do not work out immediately and as expected. You are unwilling to follow someone else's suggestions, especially if they do not make sense to you. You often have excess energy which can make you aggressive. Arians are brave leaders who express care and concern for all they lead. However, an Arian as a follower is rare, and can be troublesome. Some Arians will act self-centered because they believe that their views are right, and anyone who conflicts with them is wrong. Because you are open and honest, you will make energetic and generous friends. Arians have trouble compromising which can lead to problems in otherwise smooth friendships.
Romantic behavior:
You are extremely friendly and charming, and are very attracted to the opposite sex. Speaking of romance, you seem to follow Keats' definition of beauty, "A thing of beauty, is a joy forever." You get bored very soon in your affairs because you also prefer intelligent and versatile partners. You are advised to be careful in your relationships as you could get into trouble easily when you let your heart rule your head. The opposite sex finds you fascinating because of your beauty consciousness, lavish expenditure, dynamism and adventurous nature
Important Information on Arians
Good career choices for you are:
Athlete
Engineer
Doctor
Explorer
Soldier
Sailor
Airman
any type of leader
You are prone to headaches and indigestion.
Your ruling planet: Mars.
The ram is associated with Aries.
Your lucky color: red.
Your lucky gemstone: diamond.
Your lucky numbers : 9 and 1.
Aries (the ram) loves freedom, and will accept any challenge. You will get impatient if your ideas do not work out immediately and as expected. You are unwilling to follow someone else's suggestions, especially if they do not make sense to you. You often have excess energy which can make you aggressive. Arians are brave leaders who express care and concern for all they lead. However, an Arian as a follower is rare, and can be troublesome. Some Arians will act self-centered because they believe that their views are right, and anyone who conflicts with them is wrong. Because you are open and honest, you will make energetic and generous friends. Arians have trouble compromising which can lead to problems in otherwise smooth friendships.
Romantic behavior:
You are extremely friendly and charming, and are very attracted to the opposite sex. Speaking of romance, you seem to follow Keats' definition of beauty, "A thing of beauty, is a joy forever." You get bored very soon in your affairs because you also prefer intelligent and versatile partners. You are advised to be careful in your relationships as you could get into trouble easily when you let your heart rule your head. The opposite sex finds you fascinating because of your beauty consciousness, lavish expenditure, dynamism and adventurous nature
Important Information on Arians
Good career choices for you are:
Athlete
Engineer
Doctor
Explorer
Soldier
Sailor
Airman
any type of leader
You are prone to headaches and indigestion.
Your ruling planet: Mars.
The ram is associated with Aries.
Your lucky color: red.
Your lucky gemstone: diamond.
Your lucky numbers : 9 and 1.
lalala
08.26.05 (5:03 pm) [edit]
okie...after checking...3 ppl deleted me from msn...=(
1. goldfish (lol..dun blame her manz)
2. seng (true..haven't spoken since first 3 mths in pj...sad story tt one..but at least we're hi-bye frens)
3. desmond!! (i am so gonna whack him when i see him..)
anyway..after floating for a while..i'm back on earth..let's hope nothing devs from it..i foresee an exciting life ahead though..=) ad-hoc!!!! i love projects
PS: i need a dress for my DnD
1. goldfish (lol..dun blame her manz)
2. seng (true..haven't spoken since first 3 mths in pj...sad story tt one..but at least we're hi-bye frens)
3. desmond!! (i am so gonna whack him when i see him..)
anyway..after floating for a while..i'm back on earth..let's hope nothing devs from it..i foresee an exciting life ahead though..=) ad-hoc!!!! i love projects
PS: i need a dress for my DnD
wheeeeeee
08.26.05 (4:53 am) [edit]
exceptionally gd mood...
1) i got a position i want in GS..FOC director...it's basically freshman orientation camp director..uber cool...since i wanted something in ops/events...they tried pushing me for academic welfare head (i dun think i myself am academically well)...but cool...e happening place to be manz
2) made frens with another lvl 2000 geog gal...YEA! now i got 2 frens there...
3) made frens with a M0Eta guy..he claims he has no frens there when i said i have no frens there...but i rem seeing him surrounded by frens...lol...anyway he's a cool guy...this other guy was asking y i'm so sure i'm gonna major in geog...i looked at ben (e cool guy) and said no choice..rite?? then he said 'YAH!' then e first guy asked y?? so i said coz of e M0eTa thing...then ben was like 'hey! u're in m0eta??' lol...he nvr noticed me in m0eta manz..only rems me from Owk..lol
anyway we're lame lahz...ben is like so lazy...so instead of crossing e rd to take a shuttle bus then change to a public bus hm...he wanted to take a cab coz he dun want cross rd..lol..then he wanted to give me a lift free of charge..but noeing me..i insisted on splitting e cost though it's really nice of him to offer...so in e end...we still crossed e rd..zzz...and waited for 10 mins talking cock..then we realised tt so late where got ppl take cab into sch?? so cannot get a cab out..then from e bus stop area oppo e lib he walked me to e terminal so tt i can take my bus back...=)
y is he cool?? coz everytime i try to explain something e.g. y i stayed in pj with 9 pts..he will say 'nahz..it's okie..i understand'..or y i am so scared of ghost/horror flicks now...i dun feel like i have to dig out a reason...i can just say i dunno y..and he will say yah..i understand..lol
i can be frens with him for 4 yrs in uni and 1 yr in N1E manz..lol
1) i got a position i want in GS..FOC director...it's basically freshman orientation camp director..uber cool...since i wanted something in ops/events...they tried pushing me for academic welfare head (i dun think i myself am academically well)...but cool...e happening place to be manz
2) made frens with another lvl 2000 geog gal...YEA! now i got 2 frens there...
3) made frens with a M0Eta guy..he claims he has no frens there when i said i have no frens there...but i rem seeing him surrounded by frens...lol...anyway he's a cool guy...this other guy was asking y i'm so sure i'm gonna major in geog...i looked at ben (e cool guy) and said no choice..rite?? then he said 'YAH!' then e first guy asked y?? so i said coz of e M0eTa thing...then ben was like 'hey! u're in m0eta??' lol...he nvr noticed me in m0eta manz..only rems me from Owk..lol
anyway we're lame lahz...ben is like so lazy...so instead of crossing e rd to take a shuttle bus then change to a public bus hm...he wanted to take a cab coz he dun want cross rd..lol..then he wanted to give me a lift free of charge..but noeing me..i insisted on splitting e cost though it's really nice of him to offer...so in e end...we still crossed e rd..zzz...and waited for 10 mins talking cock..then we realised tt so late where got ppl take cab into sch?? so cannot get a cab out..then from e bus stop area oppo e lib he walked me to e terminal so tt i can take my bus back...=)
y is he cool?? coz everytime i try to explain something e.g. y i stayed in pj with 9 pts..he will say 'nahz..it's okie..i understand'..or y i am so scared of ghost/horror flicks now...i dun feel like i have to dig out a reason...i can just say i dunno y..and he will say yah..i understand..lol
i can be frens with him for 4 yrs in uni and 1 yr in N1E manz..lol
heez
08.25.05 (4:19 am) [edit]
You Are...
Hope Key Sakura!
You love everyone and can't help but help them.
Just remember to care for yourself too!
Which Cardcaptor Sakura Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Sailor Scout are you?
bleahz
08.22.05 (4:51 am) [edit]
pls...i beg of u..dun make me hate u..dun make me choose to run from u...
seriously...it's high time u back off..just coz i dunno how to be angry..does tt mean tt my impression of u is not deteriorating.
i'm frustrated. will u pls...use inherent desire to protect me as a tool to help urself walk away?? knowing tt tt wld be wat i want....
i cannot love u.
seriously...it's high time u back off..just coz i dunno how to be angry..does tt mean tt my impression of u is not deteriorating.
i'm frustrated. will u pls...use inherent desire to protect me as a tool to help urself walk away?? knowing tt tt wld be wat i want....
i cannot love u.
...
08.21.05 (4:58 am) [edit]
y did i say no to vin?? i dunno also.
he's like so nice and sweet....perfect almost...yet i said no...he's right...we are so alike...me and him..
yet...when he told me abt e warm fuzzy feelings he's got...i just felt so sad...for not feeling e same. still rem wat da told me..tt we seldom love whoever loves us...we have to make do...maybe i really am too idealistic. but tt's me.
i guess...i just cannot imagine myself with u....
hate this.
PS: my laptop is having probs....like it's so new lahz...dunno y..start up damn slow.
i believe i will be in a rather bad mood tmr...
he's like so nice and sweet....perfect almost...yet i said no...he's right...we are so alike...me and him..
yet...when he told me abt e warm fuzzy feelings he's got...i just felt so sad...for not feeling e same. still rem wat da told me..tt we seldom love whoever loves us...we have to make do...maybe i really am too idealistic. but tt's me.
i guess...i just cannot imagine myself with u....
hate this.
PS: my laptop is having probs....like it's so new lahz...dunno y..start up damn slow.
i believe i will be in a rather bad mood tmr...
.
08.14.05 (1:17 am) [edit]
went to e zoo today...it was great with e kids...dhalan was totally naughty and playful..lol..but meiyee was so sweet and she looks like sakura...=D anyway i think me and meiyee make a gd team against vin..lol...she so cute..she called him uncle...then vin asked if i am auntie or jiejie..then meiyee looked at me quizzically as if for an ans...and she must have sensed my tot waves coz she said jiejie...
and when vin carried her...she whispered jiejie as in in conspiracy and told me tt he carried her..lol...i saw it lahz..lol..but tt's cute...anyway..she's really like sakura...and she was so sad to leave me...=( cute kid. wonder if i'll ever see her again...
well..she's damn pretty...but for an underprivilleged kid...she's abit she chi bahz..oh well..she's still super cute.
and wah...today i quite shag le...i woke up at 6am...then i went zoo run ard till like 3pm++...came hm at 5 expecting to go give tuition at 8..then teck meng cancel coz he has a stomach upset...so it's postponed till tmr...somemore! when i got hm...i was like reading my notes..still reading now..lol...how jialat lahz..zzz
but i still love sch! my myself!! and meiyee (oh yah..she whacked vin during games too...muahahaha..as in physically, violently whack...wat a sweet gal)
oh yah..she's 11 and loves holding my hand...like how sweet can a child get...and she will sneak looks at me and smile??? SWEET!!!
oh yah..funniest thing tt happened today...meiyee lost her slippers so we went ard looking for it...when i told vin (since he's e grp i/c) he was like WAT?!! lost her slippers??? lol..i must admit...it's e first time anyone told me they lost their footwear. it was a hilarious slippers-hunt..anyway in e end..one of e volunteers took them..lol!!!!!!!!!!
and when vin carried her...she whispered jiejie as in in conspiracy and told me tt he carried her..lol...i saw it lahz..lol..but tt's cute...anyway..she's really like sakura...and she was so sad to leave me...=( cute kid. wonder if i'll ever see her again...
well..she's damn pretty...but for an underprivilleged kid...she's abit she chi bahz..oh well..she's still super cute.
and wah...today i quite shag le...i woke up at 6am...then i went zoo run ard till like 3pm++...came hm at 5 expecting to go give tuition at 8..then teck meng cancel coz he has a stomach upset...so it's postponed till tmr...somemore! when i got hm...i was like reading my notes..still reading now..lol...how jialat lahz..zzz
but i still love sch! my myself!! and meiyee (oh yah..she whacked vin during games too...muahahaha..as in physically, violently whack...wat a sweet gal)
oh yah..she's 11 and loves holding my hand...like how sweet can a child get...and she will sneak looks at me and smile??? SWEET!!!
oh yah..funniest thing tt happened today...meiyee lost her slippers so we went ard looking for it...when i told vin (since he's e grp i/c) he was like WAT?!! lost her slippers??? lol..i must admit...it's e first time anyone told me they lost their footwear. it was a hilarious slippers-hunt..anyway in e end..one of e volunteers took them..lol!!!!!!!!!!
hmmm
08.13.05 (2:48 am) [edit]
okie...i realised something since e last post.
wrong! i am not a fairytale cynic...
perhaps i cling on too tenaciously to my version of a love story..hence i selfishly reject all other modes/ppl who do not fit into my tales.
sigh...my printer is running out of ink i believe...this is wat happens when u have tons of notes...can u believe it...my econs notes are like 36 pgs...lol..for 1 lect??? cannot make it. lol.
btw...i am suddenly simply hardworking...more hardworking than JC and sec sch at least...however...i dun think i am doing enuf still...i think uni brings out e gal in me who thrist for knowledge. and right now...=) i dun want anything else(or anyone for e matter)...i just want my readings, txtbks even lect notes!!! anyway...i bought $200 worth of txtbks...and i still plan to get another one..will prob add up to $300 if i count e photocopying to be done..tt's freaky..$300 worth of knowledge excluding dl-ed readings..woah.
but. studying really is fun. kinda. it's relaxing too. =)
and i love my frens too...
today i asked myself to think of a really happy day of my life...my instant reaction was to think of da and corn...but well...in e end...i guess tt in my memory pool...e first happy day tt jumped out was me ting and qi and kbox after i met rubz and grace...coz it was KBOX...and i was in my post-orientation mood...which meant i was doing cheers in e place...and i gung-ho-ly drank 5 glasses of drinks...2 coke, 1 honey-lemon...and 2 mocktails (shirley temple)...amazing day....and i did great cheers.
This led me to conclude tt in my life...i am happy with frens (gladly) and my readings (sadly)..lol...
=) smilz.
wheeee...
wrong! i am not a fairytale cynic...
perhaps i cling on too tenaciously to my version of a love story..hence i selfishly reject all other modes/ppl who do not fit into my tales.
sigh...my printer is running out of ink i believe...this is wat happens when u have tons of notes...can u believe it...my econs notes are like 36 pgs...lol..for 1 lect??? cannot make it. lol.
btw...i am suddenly simply hardworking...more hardworking than JC and sec sch at least...however...i dun think i am doing enuf still...i think uni brings out e gal in me who thrist for knowledge. and right now...=) i dun want anything else(or anyone for e matter)...i just want my readings, txtbks even lect notes!!! anyway...i bought $200 worth of txtbks...and i still plan to get another one..will prob add up to $300 if i count e photocopying to be done..tt's freaky..$300 worth of knowledge excluding dl-ed readings..woah.
but. studying really is fun. kinda. it's relaxing too. =)
and i love my frens too...
today i asked myself to think of a really happy day of my life...my instant reaction was to think of da and corn...but well...in e end...i guess tt in my memory pool...e first happy day tt jumped out was me ting and qi and kbox after i met rubz and grace...coz it was KBOX...and i was in my post-orientation mood...which meant i was doing cheers in e place...and i gung-ho-ly drank 5 glasses of drinks...2 coke, 1 honey-lemon...and 2 mocktails (shirley temple)...amazing day....and i did great cheers.
This led me to conclude tt in my life...i am happy with frens (gladly) and my readings (sadly)..lol...
=) smilz.
wheeee...
..
08.12.05 (6:24 am) [edit]
bad mood.
i noe it has something to do with him..but i can't quite place my finger on it.
i guess i'm just feeling a lil uncomfy in his pursuit...just uncomfy...
too bad i can't back out from sun..i mean think abt e kids and old folks waiting for me...from how sun goes...i may decide to keep a wide berth from him...
perhaps at first...i din sense any undercurrents and just tot him a nice sweet guy though sadly misguided in falling for me...but now...i'm beginning to wonder how much of tt nicety he really is...perhaps he is just so nice tt it's unbelievable so i have chosen to stop believing...
dunno.
Just uncomfortable.....
maybe he is too pushy..too forward moving tt i begin to wonder y in e world he is so pushy.
maybe it's just cynical me not believing.
i'm a fairy tale cynic..muahahaha...
i believed in cinderella...but it failed. dadadadadada. saw my glass slipper and nvr brought it to me..when i went to him...he simply handed it back and asked me to drop it at some other palace.
so...y wld i believe in beauty and e beast?? absolutely no reason to.
okie! i admit..i am just insecure and uncomfortable abt this.
a million thanks for alex though for his stupid ideas on how to irritate vin away...dun think i am tt mean..but those were great ideas. e.g. taking his phone and deleting all feminine names from e phone bk...screening all his calls/sms...ask him out and call him 5 mins before to cancel..like evil lahz. zzz...but laffing is a great way to destress.
i noe it has something to do with him..but i can't quite place my finger on it.
i guess i'm just feeling a lil uncomfy in his pursuit...just uncomfy...
too bad i can't back out from sun..i mean think abt e kids and old folks waiting for me...from how sun goes...i may decide to keep a wide berth from him...
perhaps at first...i din sense any undercurrents and just tot him a nice sweet guy though sadly misguided in falling for me...but now...i'm beginning to wonder how much of tt nicety he really is...perhaps he is just so nice tt it's unbelievable so i have chosen to stop believing...
dunno.
Just uncomfortable.....
maybe he is too pushy..too forward moving tt i begin to wonder y in e world he is so pushy.
maybe it's just cynical me not believing.
i'm a fairy tale cynic..muahahaha...
i believed in cinderella...but it failed. dadadadadada. saw my glass slipper and nvr brought it to me..when i went to him...he simply handed it back and asked me to drop it at some other palace.
so...y wld i believe in beauty and e beast?? absolutely no reason to.
okie! i admit..i am just insecure and uncomfortable abt this.
a million thanks for alex though for his stupid ideas on how to irritate vin away...dun think i am tt mean..but those were great ideas. e.g. taking his phone and deleting all feminine names from e phone bk...screening all his calls/sms...ask him out and call him 5 mins before to cancel..like evil lahz. zzz...but laffing is a great way to destress.
perhaps.
08.09.05 (3:53 pm) [edit]
been blogging less now..guess i am more busy with sch and preoccupied with thinking how to deal with him...also it just seems a hassle to come blog...dunno y...my life...nothing drastic happened..e same old sob-stories on love...my trying to study..and my hectic schedule which still leaves me with slack time at nite to crap on msn everynite..lalala
i can't believe tt i agreed to meet him on fri with rubz. i didn't noe i had tt crack within me.. i said yes after his endless asking...
why did i have this crack??
i just want to be frens with everyone right now.
i tot of wat amelia told me...she said tt e guys in jc din cherish her frenship enuf...coz they wanted to get together with her...
i realised last nite...tt it's not them...it's her...their wanting to get attached to her just means they want to take their frenship to a diff lvl...whereas her blocking and ignoring them is in fact evidence tt she doesn't cherish their frenship since she ended everything there.
i cherish vin's frenship i guess which is y i have yet to run from him...i just want to be frens..normal frens...
he seems to have weaved a fairytale for me...and i noe exactly wat part to play..yet i don't wish to put on e costume or enter e stage. Yet, i have this premonition tt fate decrees my entrance.
Why am i resisting it?? i noe this sounds silly..but i dunno..maybe i am just waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet..and i mean SWEEP. oh well
PUTTING TT ASIDE:
i got my laptop..it may not be e cutest thing alive (since it is not silver nor white!!) it is supposed to be a gd machine since it's IBM..oh well...if ppl say so~ dunno much abt all these
sch's normal...not tt boring...quite fun in fact...
oh yah...i found a pair of slippers yest..it has e most beautiful blue straps but an ugly base...but i still bought it..since e straps are stunning and it's $6 anyway! i love e blue straps
it's a busy wk for me this wk manz...this sat i'm giving tuition coz on sun...i'm going to e zoo to do some volunteer work...i am kamikaze...e volunteer thing is org by vin and i invited ter to come help...kamikaze indeed. but technically they are both my frens now...=)
i can't believe tt i agreed to meet him on fri with rubz. i didn't noe i had tt crack within me.. i said yes after his endless asking...
why did i have this crack??
i just want to be frens with everyone right now.
i tot of wat amelia told me...she said tt e guys in jc din cherish her frenship enuf...coz they wanted to get together with her...
i realised last nite...tt it's not them...it's her...their wanting to get attached to her just means they want to take their frenship to a diff lvl...whereas her blocking and ignoring them is in fact evidence tt she doesn't cherish their frenship since she ended everything there.
i cherish vin's frenship i guess which is y i have yet to run from him...i just want to be frens..normal frens...
he seems to have weaved a fairytale for me...and i noe exactly wat part to play..yet i don't wish to put on e costume or enter e stage. Yet, i have this premonition tt fate decrees my entrance.
Why am i resisting it?? i noe this sounds silly..but i dunno..maybe i am just waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet..and i mean SWEEP. oh well
PUTTING TT ASIDE:
i got my laptop..it may not be e cutest thing alive (since it is not silver nor white!!) it is supposed to be a gd machine since it's IBM..oh well...if ppl say so~ dunno much abt all these
sch's normal...not tt boring...quite fun in fact...
oh yah...i found a pair of slippers yest..it has e most beautiful blue straps but an ugly base...but i still bought it..since e straps are stunning and it's $6 anyway! i love e blue straps
it's a busy wk for me this wk manz...this sat i'm giving tuition coz on sun...i'm going to e zoo to do some volunteer work...i am kamikaze...e volunteer thing is org by vin and i invited ter to come help...kamikaze indeed. but technically they are both my frens now...=)
.
08.05.05 (5:15 am) [edit]
talking to vin on msn...realising things abt him i nvr knew..but this time..i think i like him as a fren..but nothing more. this time...i'm going to take things very slow and get to noe him first.
telling him abt corn now since he asked abt who i like before...
corn.
he's doing well i think...just tt he's still not married.
vin asked if i still feel anything for corn...
i answered no. coz e feelings are not alive anymore...but i noe tt corn will always be tt special fren.
oh yah..supposed to talk abt Owk...it was fun...some ppl say it's not...e.g. jan..but we all noe it's coz they pon most of it...of coz not fun lahz..
my personal favs:
1. Sentosa..where i was totally blur and cold and e rain was horizontal
2. war games...where i was e bimbotic princess fiona who just needed rescuing supposedly till i was protecting e flame and kanna water bomb on my head like tons of times..lucky i not stupid yet...and my specs dropped somemore. anyway..after tt a weirdo i dunno come and stroked my hair and asked if i'm fine..how weird can tt get. and i got hit by a water bomb after tt square in my face..my eye turned pink and it hurt..like how freaky is tt too (no...i am not blind now either)
3. rush hour...more like chill hour for us..but fun too..
4. oh yah..i was e mascot too i am e flavour fairy..=p
now..wld u want to be barbecue?? sour cream?? lightly salted??
5. i think it is fated tt i met amelia and became gd frens with her...coz in many ways our pjlives are very alike..seeking e one...ending up with ppl we dun want liking us...just weird...we just see abit of each other in ourselves.
6. becoming e greatest scandal in my OG.
7. ALMOST quarreling with june. =D she had to go buy dinner at like midnite and asked everyone to wait for her till 2 am to start prac for our skit...how ridiculous..anyway she came back close to 1 and tempers were flaring...1 OG ponned her prac somemore...OU XIANG!! then my grp just walked out..while she called after us...i said 'Well...while u were gone...we have showed our scenes to all e others..ask them'
i mean how dumb to ask us to keep repeating e scenes to u so u can direct them later??? lol..might as well direct it ourselves. dun make sense.
8. more gossiping abt june. i think my OG cannot win games..can only sing songs and gossip...
we got 2 scandals...then june to gossip abt and not forgetting e resident pervert...gd time gossipping man
9.singing songs all day all nite everyday everynite...yea manz!
10. learning abt e ppl and culture there..extraordinary manz.
Currently, i am talking in a 'wassup yo!' 'hey dude!' kinda attitude..it's e aftermaths and withdrawal symptoms from orientation...pls ignore me.
=p
i love my ppl~~~
telling him abt corn now since he asked abt who i like before...
corn.
he's doing well i think...just tt he's still not married.
vin asked if i still feel anything for corn...
i answered no. coz e feelings are not alive anymore...but i noe tt corn will always be tt special fren.
oh yah..supposed to talk abt Owk...it was fun...some ppl say it's not...e.g. jan..but we all noe it's coz they pon most of it...of coz not fun lahz..
my personal favs:
1. Sentosa..where i was totally blur and cold and e rain was horizontal
2. war games...where i was e bimbotic princess fiona who just needed rescuing supposedly till i was protecting e flame and kanna water bomb on my head like tons of times..lucky i not stupid yet...and my specs dropped somemore. anyway..after tt a weirdo i dunno come and stroked my hair and asked if i'm fine..how weird can tt get. and i got hit by a water bomb after tt square in my face..my eye turned pink and it hurt..like how freaky is tt too (no...i am not blind now either)
3. rush hour...more like chill hour for us..but fun too..
4. oh yah..i was e mascot too i am e flavour fairy..=p
now..wld u want to be barbecue?? sour cream?? lightly salted??
5. i think it is fated tt i met amelia and became gd frens with her...coz in many ways our pjlives are very alike..seeking e one...ending up with ppl we dun want liking us...just weird...we just see abit of each other in ourselves.
6. becoming e greatest scandal in my OG.
7. ALMOST quarreling with june. =D she had to go buy dinner at like midnite and asked everyone to wait for her till 2 am to start prac for our skit...how ridiculous..anyway she came back close to 1 and tempers were flaring...1 OG ponned her prac somemore...OU XIANG!! then my grp just walked out..while she called after us...i said 'Well...while u were gone...we have showed our scenes to all e others..ask them'
i mean how dumb to ask us to keep repeating e scenes to u so u can direct them later??? lol..might as well direct it ourselves. dun make sense.
8. more gossiping abt june. i think my OG cannot win games..can only sing songs and gossip...
we got 2 scandals...then june to gossip abt and not forgetting e resident pervert...gd time gossipping man
9.singing songs all day all nite everyday everynite...yea manz!
10. learning abt e ppl and culture there..extraordinary manz.
Currently, i am talking in a 'wassup yo!' 'hey dude!' kinda attitude..it's e aftermaths and withdrawal symptoms from orientation...pls ignore me.
=p
i love my ppl~~~
..
08.03.05 (4:13 pm) [edit]
i can see myself standing above a stone at e beach...overlooking e sea. e wind whipping my hair...i will smile serenely...coz i noe i am comfortable with my own solitude...so much so tt it has ceased to be loneliness and is now a form of sanctuary from e noisy ongoings around me.
i nvr knew tt anyone cld chase anyone else tt hard. asking me 10 times a day if i cld 'give u permission' to ask me stuff...if we can eventually reach a certain stage...i dun think my ans will change with e amt of times u ask e same qn. somehow...i feel that deep down inside...we are very diff yet so similar...
i realised tt u have ur dreams...ur aspirations...ur wanting to give 100% to everything...and i believe u....becoz u embody ur motto- to live everyday to e fullest..u told me...tt u give ur 100% in everything whether it is for me..studies..volunteering...leadership...everything...
i wish i had e courage then to tell u tt i dunno wat is called 100% in a r/s...coz i have only loved someone 100% once...and nvr again. ur life is dominated by a million things...yet u say u will always make time for me. my life can be as empty as i want..yet i doubt i will ever make e time for u...
Frankly, in terms of 'requirements'...alvin reaches almost everything. Yet...i just dun feel like getting attached to him. maybe coz he is too serious...now i'm making myself sound like a playgal..but he's too serious i guess...
I THINK. something is wrong with me.
maybe i am just used to being unattached.
perhaps...u're just pushing me too hard...so hard tt i just want to run away..hide my face...
will talk more abt orient. tmr...need to go eat lunch at 10.30 after you tiao + duo jiang at 8.30..lol...coz i prob have to skip both lunch and dinner today..sigh.
i nvr knew tt anyone cld chase anyone else tt hard. asking me 10 times a day if i cld 'give u permission' to ask me stuff...if we can eventually reach a certain stage...i dun think my ans will change with e amt of times u ask e same qn. somehow...i feel that deep down inside...we are very diff yet so similar...
i realised tt u have ur dreams...ur aspirations...ur wanting to give 100% to everything...and i believe u....becoz u embody ur motto- to live everyday to e fullest..u told me...tt u give ur 100% in everything whether it is for me..studies..volunteering...leadership...everything...
i wish i had e courage then to tell u tt i dunno wat is called 100% in a r/s...coz i have only loved someone 100% once...and nvr again. ur life is dominated by a million things...yet u say u will always make time for me. my life can be as empty as i want..yet i doubt i will ever make e time for u...
Frankly, in terms of 'requirements'...alvin reaches almost everything. Yet...i just dun feel like getting attached to him. maybe coz he is too serious...now i'm making myself sound like a playgal..but he's too serious i guess...
I THINK. something is wrong with me.
maybe i am just used to being unattached.
perhaps...u're just pushing me too hard...so hard tt i just want to run away..hide my face...
will talk more abt orient. tmr...need to go eat lunch at 10.30 after you tiao + duo jiang at 8.30..lol...coz i prob have to skip both lunch and dinner today..sigh.
bleahz.
08.01.05 (4:42 am) [edit]
Yes or No.
let nature take its course i guess...
i see no gd reason to reject/accept him.
i am not sure if there are feelings. i am not sure if i like him. i am not sure of alot of things. everyone says tt i am just prejudiced against him. i think so too.
Everyone is shaking my 'No' ans...
lines are blurred...i am not sure wat is my stand anymore.
Inside vs Outside. so more factors for and against.
but i believe tt if i love him..i won't consider e factors.
SO........
i dunno. dun ask me.
WAIT. i change my mind. ask me...so tt perhaps i will get to noe myself and my tots better by explaining them.
bleahz. i hate this.
let nature take its course i guess...
i see no gd reason to reject/accept him.
i am not sure if there are feelings. i am not sure if i like him. i am not sure of alot of things. everyone says tt i am just prejudiced against him. i think so too.
Everyone is shaking my 'No' ans...
lines are blurred...i am not sure wat is my stand anymore.
Inside vs Outside. so more factors for and against.
but i believe tt if i love him..i won't consider e factors.
SO........
i dunno. dun ask me.
WAIT. i change my mind. ask me...so tt perhaps i will get to noe myself and my tots better by explaining them.
bleahz. i hate this.