hmmmm
12.28.04 (7:34 pm) [edit]
today i told sky something interesting...i told him tt to many...life is e acquisition of things...both tangible and intangible...some ppl want money, fame, love, power....anything...and to some...life gives them e opportunity to give things to someone they love so tt e loved one may acquire wat e giver feels e loved one needs...wat do u want to acquire most of all rite now???
right now...i want a job in sch...so tt i can teach and also help e choir...but shit...i just realised something...since david told me tt tues is prac...means tt it will clash with my tuition...since tues is prac......wed prob not prac...therefore...most prob thurs prac bahz...then die...coz i giving tuition to tt kid tues and thurs...and tt wld mean tt i either fix a diff time slot...or teach for a month then quit or forfeit a hundred bucks...i dun want to teach for a month then quit lehz..so irresponsible...later i hai tt kid's future...better tt i forfeit e money then...my choir's worth more than a hundred bucks definitely..lol...
okie...besides e job...i just want tt someone to be happy...=)
besides tt...nothing else i want to acquire...realised tt i've been real happy recently...i think tt's coz i have a goal...destination...aim. tt's him and e sch. =) i think tt personally i'm not someone who's obsessed abt getting e things she wants...i just want to give it my best shot and show tt i have done my part and see if fate decrees i have it...after all God noes best...he sees e whole pic...while i can only see a much smaller world....i've always believed tt a small action will cause great reprecussions....for example...me telling Y tt i like d....may seem quite a micro thing...but maybe Y will realise this other gal near him more...maybe they will get married...then have kids...tt's e addition of Life already...maybe on their honeymoon they will drive recklessly and injure someone...tt's already someone i dunno...but maybe tt someone with e injury will be like terry fox and change e world???? Life is unexpected....we nvr noe if our actions end up in good or evil...prob both but we will nvr noe which outweighs e other...so yupz...dun take life so seriously...after all...it's just a short play...maybe when we go to heaven...we will realise how many lives we affect unknowingly...but not our fault really coz we will nvr noe...only God noes e magnitude of our small actions...of small changes in our lives....but of coz...we still must think thru our actions...as they directly affect ppl we noe as well..but we can only consider tt far......our world is tt small....our realm of knowledge even smaller...so i choose to live with hope...hope tt wat i wish for will come true...hope tt ppl i love will be happy...but if my wishes do not come true...despite my tears...i will understand tt perhaps if it did....it will have adverse consequences i cannot imagine with my limited existence and feel consoled tt God forbid tt from happening by decreeing otherwise...and feel consoled in e fact tt perhaps...e prevention of an action or change prevented e death or moral degradation of another fellow human being or even of many other humans...and seek joy in e fact tt i am prevented from unknowingly bearing these sins of cause and consequence...=)
right now...i want a job in sch...so tt i can teach and also help e choir...but shit...i just realised something...since david told me tt tues is prac...means tt it will clash with my tuition...since tues is prac......wed prob not prac...therefore...most prob thurs prac bahz...then die...coz i giving tuition to tt kid tues and thurs...and tt wld mean tt i either fix a diff time slot...or teach for a month then quit or forfeit a hundred bucks...i dun want to teach for a month then quit lehz..so irresponsible...later i hai tt kid's future...better tt i forfeit e money then...my choir's worth more than a hundred bucks definitely..lol...
okie...besides e job...i just want tt someone to be happy...=)
besides tt...nothing else i want to acquire...realised tt i've been real happy recently...i think tt's coz i have a goal...destination...aim. tt's him and e sch. =) i think tt personally i'm not someone who's obsessed abt getting e things she wants...i just want to give it my best shot and show tt i have done my part and see if fate decrees i have it...after all God noes best...he sees e whole pic...while i can only see a much smaller world....i've always believed tt a small action will cause great reprecussions....for example...me telling Y tt i like d....may seem quite a micro thing...but maybe Y will realise this other gal near him more...maybe they will get married...then have kids...tt's e addition of Life already...maybe on their honeymoon they will drive recklessly and injure someone...tt's already someone i dunno...but maybe tt someone with e injury will be like terry fox and change e world???? Life is unexpected....we nvr noe if our actions end up in good or evil...prob both but we will nvr noe which outweighs e other...so yupz...dun take life so seriously...after all...it's just a short play...maybe when we go to heaven...we will realise how many lives we affect unknowingly...but not our fault really coz we will nvr noe...only God noes e magnitude of our small actions...of small changes in our lives....but of coz...we still must think thru our actions...as they directly affect ppl we noe as well..but we can only consider tt far......our world is tt small....our realm of knowledge even smaller...so i choose to live with hope...hope tt wat i wish for will come true...hope tt ppl i love will be happy...but if my wishes do not come true...despite my tears...i will understand tt perhaps if it did....it will have adverse consequences i cannot imagine with my limited existence and feel consoled tt God forbid tt from happening by decreeing otherwise...and feel consoled in e fact tt perhaps...e prevention of an action or change prevented e death or moral degradation of another fellow human being or even of many other humans...and seek joy in e fact tt i am prevented from unknowingly bearing these sins of cause and consequence...=)
long time no blog
12.28.04 (5:40 am) [edit]
hmmmm...well...i told Y tt i like D....when i did...i felt sad...suddenly like no energy left....but when i got hm...i had an incredible conversation with D....he told me so much abt this gal he likes and stuff...although he nvr once suggested tt i even noe this gal...he didn't go =X or put a nick like 'i'm not gd enuf for u' when i told him tt i told Y tt i like this particular guy...i'm sure he noes it's him...so i take e lack of negative action as a positive and his suddenly quick reps and liveliness as a positive sign...i noe it's really silly if i say i plan to wait for him and see if i really am e gal...or wait till i realise i'm not e gal he's speaking of...or wait till he dun like me anymore before he is ready...i dunno...but i will still give him my everything....dun say i'm noble.....coz i'm selfish...whatever it is...i just want to let him realise and remind him tt i love him...i noe it'll be a burden for him and it may exhuast me.....but i noe tt's e only route i have if i want to live with myself...so tt's selfish. Y is reminding me everyday tt he loves me too...so...i noe...it will become a burden but i cannot blame him....
want go my cousin's house stay! i want!!!
want go my cousin's house stay! i want!!!
xmas-ai hen jian dan
12.24.04 (5:54 am) [edit]
ai zhen de hen jian dan...listening to e budak version...budak...my common memory with him bahz...although i went buy e cd with Y...i will always rem budak as a da thing...it took me so many yrs to begin to forget corn....i have wonderful memories with da too...i realise tt i can nvr eat anything e same again w/o feeling tt sense of loss w/o da....cannot listen to budak w/o thinking of him...cannot go pass orchard, marina, citylink, suntec, pj, my cousin's house w/o missing him...yest his nick as ouch...i was glad it's ouch...coz tt means tt perhaps i ouched him...perhaps him seeing me with Y ouched him...i can only pray tt....i have onlyy one wish this xmas...and tt is him...'all i want for xmas is u'...........i really mean it...merry xmas da...maybe u have joy replacing e sorrow on ur face...not a forced smile but a real smile...may u open ur heart to e world and not fence urself in ur constructed world...may u find love, peace within urself and joy and maybe one day...u will find out tt i love u....=)
i only sent a 00:00 sms...and tt was to da...right on e dot...e minute i sent it and exit e folder..it turned 00:01....i've decided to make it really really obvious tt i like u...too bad! sorry if i cause any trouble...but sometimes...one shld be more ren xin....and fight for wat one wants even if it kills her...hmph! bleahz...=p
i only sent a 00:00 sms...and tt was to da...right on e dot...e minute i sent it and exit e folder..it turned 00:01....i've decided to make it really really obvious tt i like u...too bad! sorry if i cause any trouble...but sometimes...one shld be more ren xin....and fight for wat one wants even if it kills her...hmph! bleahz...=p
hmmmm
12.22.04 (6:59 am) [edit]
同类
曲：李偲菘 | 词：易家扬 | 编：
雨后的城市 寂寞又狼狈
路边的座位 它空着在等谁
我拉住时间 它却不理会
有没有别人 跟我一样很想被安
风 停了又吹 我忽然想起谁
天 亮了又黑 我过了好几岁
心 暖了又灰 世界
有时候孤单的很需 另一个同类
爱 收了又给 我们都不太完美
梦 作了又碎 我们有几次机会 去追
不晓得为甚么爱 又稀少又昂贵
云在半空中 被微风剪碎
回忆也许美 可是正在飞走对不
nice lyrics...风 停了又吹 我忽然想起谁, 天 亮了又黑 我过了好几岁....yuppiez...and i like e last line too...回忆也许美 可是正在飞走对不 .....everyday i realise tt i rem less abt corn...but i can't stop e memories from disppearing...i wonder how much he rems of me...today he came back from perth.....and he replied my sms...i really miss corn bahz...alot alot.....i miss da too...like how he will just come and stand next to me...w/o saying a word...just standing there...close to each other...i miss tt feeling and i rediscovered it on tues....
funny....but somehow i'm developing a resentment and inertia towards Y....i dunno y i am becoming like this...i really dunno...i went from wanting to see him to want to see him yet dun want to ...dun understand this feeling....although e conflicting want and dun want to meet are e same wiht corn...e feeling is diff...with corn it's a really want to meet..but so wat if we meet..just be sadder feeling...with Y...it's a really dun want to meet but still think of him feeling...
i wonder if corn got osmething for me...but i dun want to ask...coz then i won't be sure if he did get something with me in mind...or he's giving me some ectra 'just-in-case' souvenir....i rem his mug...when he had me in mind and meant it as a souvenir cum xmas prez............i still have it...so precious it's almost unused....
曲：李偲菘 | 词：易家扬 | 编：
雨后的城市 寂寞又狼狈
路边的座位 它空着在等谁
我拉住时间 它却不理会
有没有别人 跟我一样很想被安
风 停了又吹 我忽然想起谁
天 亮了又黑 我过了好几岁
心 暖了又灰 世界
有时候孤单的很需 另一个同类
爱 收了又给 我们都不太完美
梦 作了又碎 我们有几次机会 去追
不晓得为甚么爱 又稀少又昂贵
云在半空中 被微风剪碎
回忆也许美 可是正在飞走对不
nice lyrics...风 停了又吹 我忽然想起谁, 天 亮了又黑 我过了好几岁....yuppiez...and i like e last line too...回忆也许美 可是正在飞走对不 .....everyday i realise tt i rem less abt corn...but i can't stop e memories from disppearing...i wonder how much he rems of me...today he came back from perth.....and he replied my sms...i really miss corn bahz...alot alot.....i miss da too...like how he will just come and stand next to me...w/o saying a word...just standing there...close to each other...i miss tt feeling and i rediscovered it on tues....
funny....but somehow i'm developing a resentment and inertia towards Y....i dunno y i am becoming like this...i really dunno...i went from wanting to see him to want to see him yet dun want to ...dun understand this feeling....although e conflicting want and dun want to meet are e same wiht corn...e feeling is diff...with corn it's a really want to meet..but so wat if we meet..just be sadder feeling...with Y...it's a really dun want to meet but still think of him feeling...
i wonder if corn got osmething for me...but i dun want to ask...coz then i won't be sure if he did get something with me in mind...or he's giving me some ectra 'just-in-case' souvenir....i rem his mug...when he had me in mind and meant it as a souvenir cum xmas prez............i still have it...so precious it's almost unused....
heez
12.19.04 (8:49 pm) [edit]
i quit...lalala...seriously...if i'm not happy doing it...y continue...correct?? at least i think so...i read an interesting interview...this playwright said ''normal human beings are imprisoned by their beliefs. How and what we believe becomes our prison....we are what we allow ourselves to believe in so all is constructed. there is no way out. It is a perfect lie coz we believe in it.''
cool huh.
okie...i'm happy...was quite upset yest and this morn over e quitting thing...in fact i cried...coz i felt so useless in a way...feels horrible not to be impt enuf and to be discriminated against...but i cheered up over time (though it's only an afternoon's time..lol)....but wah liew...when i need someone to talk to...no one's ard one lehz...zzz...but nvm lahz...i talked to myself...=p
okie peeps...have fun...xmas coming...=)
cool huh.
okie...i'm happy...was quite upset yest and this morn over e quitting thing...in fact i cried...coz i felt so useless in a way...feels horrible not to be impt enuf and to be discriminated against...but i cheered up over time (though it's only an afternoon's time..lol)....but wah liew...when i need someone to talk to...no one's ard one lehz...zzz...but nvm lahz...i talked to myself...=p
okie peeps...have fun...xmas coming...=)
feel like quitting
12.19.04 (4:10 am) [edit]
on e way hm just now...i finally realised y i'm so tired after work...coz i'm not e kit i noe at work...suddenly i'm a nobody...suddenly my efforts do not seem to pay off coz in e eyes of e boss i'm just a student on vacation and tt will remain unchanged. i dun like that. i'm used to being e best...i'm used to being termed essential to the operating of things...my working 3 days a wk shows how dispensible i am...when peiyi or angela goes for lunch...they will ask e other to 'ding' first...somehow...my role is not impt enuf to warrant me saying tt...coz i am e student on vacation...of all e ppl working there i will do anything, serve customer, check stock, replenish stock, check incoming stock, fix e toys tt e customers take apart accidentally, offer sweets to e kids, be a cashier, take out e rubbish, get e water, iron e clothes, wrap e presents...everything...i can do wat they do...yet i am e student and tt equates me to being less...i dun like tt....i take e shortest breaks, take e least breaks dun even go to e toilet when it's not my break. i used my hard work to compensate for my lack of experience. and yes, i am on par with peiyi and angela in many areas although they have 4, 5 yrs exp...yet i am less coz i am e student.
i dun like tt. i shld get a job i love and do it. i need to feel impt. i need to feel part of operations. i need to have ppl compliment me for being e best. and i am used to being e best. since pri 1, i am taught tt i am the best.....i hated sec 1 and 2 just as i dislike my job now...coz i'm not recognized...wat's worse is tt in sec 1 and 2, i din try hard enuf....now i do, yet i am nothing. i wonder how ppl exist under gender and racial discrimination in other ctrys...i bet this is how e blacks felt in america...
i am nothing. yet bear me up a little longer....
dunno lahz...so sad....shld i still go work tmr??
i dun like tt. i shld get a job i love and do it. i need to feel impt. i need to feel part of operations. i need to have ppl compliment me for being e best. and i am used to being e best. since pri 1, i am taught tt i am the best.....i hated sec 1 and 2 just as i dislike my job now...coz i'm not recognized...wat's worse is tt in sec 1 and 2, i din try hard enuf....now i do, yet i am nothing. i wonder how ppl exist under gender and racial discrimination in other ctrys...i bet this is how e blacks felt in america...
i am nothing. yet bear me up a little longer....
dunno lahz...so sad....shld i still go work tmr??
after so long
12.18.04 (4:09 am) [edit]
so long since i blog...here's a rough summary:
1. work's tiring esp when u walk behind customers....and keep taking things and putting things back and running ard in tt small shop doing a multitude of tasks...not so much of physically tiring but mentally tiring coz e jobscope is tt limited and e work place is so small....lol...
2. something nice happened at work....found eye candy...lol...tt makes my work more do-able...okie lahz...noticed him coz he looks like my fren...then i just tot it's weird tt i stared at him for a minute trying to decide if i noe him and he stared back...supposed to give flyer mahz...he shld have just given out e flyer and walked out of my shop...but heez...his shop is at e escalator means i see him at least twice a day...muahahaha....
3. looking for tuition assignments....but have met limited success...shalt not give up thus easily though.....
4. x'mas coming...hohoho...tt'll be great...hope i won't be working on tt day
5. realised tt as i get older...i get more cynical...lol...coz today i saw a t-shirt...with a bear in a gown and a magic wand and a toad....i had 2 tots...first one being tt e fairy god mother will change e toad into a prince...second one being tt e world exist on appearances and just coz e bear looks kind and godmother-ly....she may be a witch who had changed e prince into a toad...lol!!! cynical...pessimistic view...but oh well...somewhat of a realist...fine line over there...
PS: i really felt a connection with tt escalator shop guy...lol!!! not coz he shuai or wat...just a connection...bridging bahz...weird...but nice! lalala...e shop's oppo kfc..maybe i'll go makan lunch at kfc tmr =)
1. work's tiring esp when u walk behind customers....and keep taking things and putting things back and running ard in tt small shop doing a multitude of tasks...not so much of physically tiring but mentally tiring coz e jobscope is tt limited and e work place is so small....lol...
2. something nice happened at work....found eye candy...lol...tt makes my work more do-able...okie lahz...noticed him coz he looks like my fren...then i just tot it's weird tt i stared at him for a minute trying to decide if i noe him and he stared back...supposed to give flyer mahz...he shld have just given out e flyer and walked out of my shop...but heez...his shop is at e escalator means i see him at least twice a day...muahahaha....
3. looking for tuition assignments....but have met limited success...shalt not give up thus easily though.....
4. x'mas coming...hohoho...tt'll be great...hope i won't be working on tt day
5. realised tt as i get older...i get more cynical...lol...coz today i saw a t-shirt...with a bear in a gown and a magic wand and a toad....i had 2 tots...first one being tt e fairy god mother will change e toad into a prince...second one being tt e world exist on appearances and just coz e bear looks kind and godmother-ly....she may be a witch who had changed e prince into a toad...lol!!! cynical...pessimistic view...but oh well...somewhat of a realist...fine line over there...
PS: i really felt a connection with tt escalator shop guy...lol!!! not coz he shuai or wat...just a connection...bridging bahz...weird...but nice! lalala...e shop's oppo kfc..maybe i'll go makan lunch at kfc tmr =)
hmmmm
12.13.04 (4:41 am) [edit]
went out just now with shan ting and qi...shopping...i planned to get jeans...but in e end...i got a budak pantai cd instead...lol!! but tt made me happy...somemore...i din get e cd with ting and gang...i got it with Y...lol...yea...tt's wrapped happiness....it's a happy band....yupz...i saw a happy bracelet too..but din get it...coz i'm scared it looks lian-ish...now i regret it...argh...anyway...copying e cd to my pc's media library now...yea.....can listen soon....
hmmm..yah..i end up with Y coz he was at beach rd and me orchard...so we did dinner...yupz yupz...abit shocked by his insistence on meeting...and a bit shocked by his saying tt bro J likes me...hmmmm...e first time Y said it...i din even think abt it...coz J is like this lil boy to me lorz...can't even walk w/o sitting down and resting from hereen to plaza sing...lol...and zzz...my pc acting up...keep getting some dcom exploit thing tt my pc's virus scan keeps blocking...wmplayer cannot detect sound card...winamp still can play but every song it plays...before it...it will say cannot find sound card....zzzz....but it will still play........
okie...quite a nice day bahz...saw Y...at first i wanted to see him..then after a while din feel like...so fickle...but nvr tell him dun feel like le lahz...we met, ate sakura then watched ard...tt's how i got my budak pantai!!! lol...but now..dun sound tt special le...first time hear then special...lol!!!!!!! but okie lahz...23 bucks....com really got prob...blog later
hmmm..yah..i end up with Y coz he was at beach rd and me orchard...so we did dinner...yupz yupz...abit shocked by his insistence on meeting...and a bit shocked by his saying tt bro J likes me...hmmmm...e first time Y said it...i din even think abt it...coz J is like this lil boy to me lorz...can't even walk w/o sitting down and resting from hereen to plaza sing...lol...and zzz...my pc acting up...keep getting some dcom exploit thing tt my pc's virus scan keeps blocking...wmplayer cannot detect sound card...winamp still can play but every song it plays...before it...it will say cannot find sound card....zzzz....but it will still play........
okie...quite a nice day bahz...saw Y...at first i wanted to see him..then after a while din feel like...so fickle...but nvr tell him dun feel like le lahz...we met, ate sakura then watched ard...tt's how i got my budak pantai!!! lol...but now..dun sound tt special le...first time hear then special...lol!!!!!!! but okie lahz...23 bucks....com really got prob...blog later
hmmmm
12.11.04 (5:39 am) [edit]
okie...haven't updated for a long time...coz life's kinda routine...working now...abit sianz lorz...but collegues are nice...when e shop is busy at least more entertaining bahz...when it's empty...no flies to swat even...hence i have decided to moonlight...but look on e bright side...5566 coming tmr...even if i dun get to see them...at least more customers...but i do hope to get to see them...but doubt they will appear near e shop i work at...zzz...argh!!! i want see them in e flesh mahz...but shld be shuai lahz...dunnit see...esp tt sun xiezhi...sure shuai...lalala...
okie after prom...i did a cool thing...i walked from pan pac to suntec to explanade to collyer quay to shenton to boat quay...lol!! me sharon and rubz in our gowns...lalala...everyone stared at us...no choice. but got a grp of damn irritating mats lahz...dun want to talk abt it...anyway...dun talk abt unhappy things mahz...
anyway..my new colleagues not bad...pui yee and angela both quite nice ppl....abit not guai but nice...both abit rebellious kind...but nonetheless still nice...who said tt pple from diff edu lvls cannot click...me and pui yee not bad ahz..she's from normal stream in sec sch and dropped out in sec 2 coz she quit sch...but we talk okie...tt made me think of doing a proj on e widening gap in e society of s'pore...since my work ain't challenging....if i dun use my brain i'll become more stupid....no no...less clever.
funny...but i'm rethinking abt doing law at uni..funny...but i can't make up my mind abt law...at least it's mentally challenging...zzz
okie after prom...i did a cool thing...i walked from pan pac to suntec to explanade to collyer quay to shenton to boat quay...lol!! me sharon and rubz in our gowns...lalala...everyone stared at us...no choice. but got a grp of damn irritating mats lahz...dun want to talk abt it...anyway...dun talk abt unhappy things mahz...
anyway..my new colleagues not bad...pui yee and angela both quite nice ppl....abit not guai but nice...both abit rebellious kind...but nonetheless still nice...who said tt pple from diff edu lvls cannot click...me and pui yee not bad ahz..she's from normal stream in sec sch and dropped out in sec 2 coz she quit sch...but we talk okie...tt made me think of doing a proj on e widening gap in e society of s'pore...since my work ain't challenging....if i dun use my brain i'll become more stupid....no no...less clever.
funny...but i'm rethinking abt doing law at uni..funny...but i can't make up my mind abt law...at least it's mentally challenging...zzz
hmmmm
12.06.04 (5:48 am) [edit]
blank.
tonite...peaceful nite in a way....weird mood...my tots face a bottleneck situation..coz it;s soo full to e neck of e bottle...it's so cramped it can't come out. rite now in this very nite...i wish for some quiet to understand myself better...who am i?? wat am i like?? hmmm..funny nite mood...in e day...i noe who i am....but somehow..tonite i dun. i think in a way i attract trouble...somehow...i can't keep a gal-guy-frens r/s as it is...simple and w/o complications...it's not like i'm pretty or wat...i just dun understand many things........is it tt difficult?? theoretically no....so wat's wrong. i think i am facing a brain-saturated situation....time for bed i guess.........talk more tmr........prom-day. sighz.
tonite...peaceful nite in a way....weird mood...my tots face a bottleneck situation..coz it;s soo full to e neck of e bottle...it's so cramped it can't come out. rite now in this very nite...i wish for some quiet to understand myself better...who am i?? wat am i like?? hmmm..funny nite mood...in e day...i noe who i am....but somehow..tonite i dun. i think in a way i attract trouble...somehow...i can't keep a gal-guy-frens r/s as it is...simple and w/o complications...it's not like i'm pretty or wat...i just dun understand many things........is it tt difficult?? theoretically no....so wat's wrong. i think i am facing a brain-saturated situation....time for bed i guess.........talk more tmr........prom-day. sighz.
cinderella
12.05.04 (4:26 am) [edit]
hmmmm...i realised tt many shows have this cinderella theme...a very normal, common gal........and a rich and good-looking guy in love........but truly...it has evolved...thinking back, cinderella used to be subservient...she listened to her stepmom and stepsis although they are unkind........she's helpless and vulnerable and when she couldn't go to e ball, she cried and cld do nothing except wish tt she cld go.....and most of all, she is cinderella coz e prince happened to like her and e prince is e active player in e whole thing while all she does is dance and look pretty. Modern day cinderellas in shows like e shan cai in meteor garden, e xiaoxi in MVP and e lijuan in e movie i just watched are diff...wat they have in common is tt they are different. they dun listen to ppl who are unfair to them, they fight back double. they aren't subservient to anyone, they live by their principles doggedly like how shan cai wld leave daoming si for her frens and stuff..and they are not helpless in e face of difficulties...they face it head on...like throw a modern cinderella in e traditional cinderella fairy tale...she prob won't want to go and look pretty!! she'll prob stay behind to earn her keep or pursue her dreams and ambition which will not be to marry a prince!! even if she wants to go.....which her stepmom won't allow she'll prob run or walk there instead of crying...so diff rite...olden fairytales prac misogny...lol...more feministic now...coz e reason y e gal is cinderella now is coz she's diff!! suddenly e personality is a lot more 3D instead of kind, pretty cinderella....she becomes someone whose personality is unique and who faces inner struggles and such...cool rite?? lol
now........y is cinderella e most popular fairy tale?? coz she's e 'commoner'....she's e someone who can't get e nice clothes she wants for a ball in e past..and she is now someone who's not e prettiest in e serial. not e richest. she'll just live in a house very much like wat everyone else lives in. work or study at a place very much like us. slowly....she seems like someone we can relate to, someone we noe...someone who perhaps lives in us. perhaps WE are cinderellas in our own right. and modern cinderellas are special coz they fight for their dreams...true embodiment of e fighting spirit.
but one thing has not changed....e Cinderella figure is one who is close to perfection in e eyes of society....whichever era she is from...she can be e domestic, kind figure of e past or e gung-ho figure of e present who never says die. Perfect. And! they must be special. diff from everyone else in e story. whether they are e one who dares to go against e prince like MVP and meteor.....or e kindest one amidst e evil stepmom and sisters......must be special...=)
now........y is cinderella e most popular fairy tale?? coz she's e 'commoner'....she's e someone who can't get e nice clothes she wants for a ball in e past..and she is now someone who's not e prettiest in e serial. not e richest. she'll just live in a house very much like wat everyone else lives in. work or study at a place very much like us. slowly....she seems like someone we can relate to, someone we noe...someone who perhaps lives in us. perhaps WE are cinderellas in our own right. and modern cinderellas are special coz they fight for their dreams...true embodiment of e fighting spirit.
but one thing has not changed....e Cinderella figure is one who is close to perfection in e eyes of society....whichever era she is from...she can be e domestic, kind figure of e past or e gung-ho figure of e present who never says die. Perfect. And! they must be special. diff from everyone else in e story. whether they are e one who dares to go against e prince like MVP and meteor.....or e kindest one amidst e evil stepmom and sisters......must be special...=)
song
12.03.04 (4:54 pm) [edit]
hmmm...before i describe yest...i just want to say tt i realised one thing abt life....Life........i wish i wld hold on more tightly to things tt i value and love....wish i am more firm abt wat i believe in...sometimes being stubborn is a virtue too...coz at least tt encompasses a direction and a course tt u doggedly pursue...well..i dun have tt...not enuf anyway.......recently i heard quit an inspirational song...shall post e lyrics here....
倔强
当 我和世界不一样 那就让我不一样
坚持对我来说 就是以刚克刚
我 如果对自己不行 如果对自己说谎
即使别人原谅 我也不能原谅
最美的愿望 一定最疯狂
我就是我自己的神 在我活的地方
我和我最后的倔强 握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强 我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂 就这一次 我和我的倔强
(就这一次 让我大声唱啦啦啦...)
对 爱我的人别紧张 我的固执很善良
我的手越肮髒 眼神越是发光
你 不在乎我的过往 看到了我的翅膀
你说过被火烧过才 出现凤凰
逆风的方向 更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡 只怕自己投降
倔强
当 我和世界不一样 那就让我不一样
坚持对我来说 就是以刚克刚
我 如果对自己不行 如果对自己说谎
即使别人原谅 我也不能原谅
最美的愿望 一定最疯狂
我就是我自己的神 在我活的地方
我和我最后的倔强 握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强 我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂 就这一次 我和我的倔强
(就这一次 让我大声唱啦啦啦...)
对 爱我的人别紧张 我的固执很善良
我的手越肮髒 眼神越是发光
你 不在乎我的过往 看到了我的翅膀
你说过被火烧过才 出现凤凰
逆风的方向 更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡 只怕自己投降
medicine
12.02.04 (2:37 am) [edit]
i took medication...lemsip pill...opened it up and drank e powder....so thanks. to corn and da...coz i sat in front of my com thinking wat wld corn say and i saw e bottle he gave....then i tot abt wat da wld say...and decided tt he wld say i'm mad to not take medication...so i took it. thanks...
still have a splitting headache...argh.....want to off my com le...but i promised to meet je online tonite....ouch..but no choice. i'll try to bear with e headache until i cannot tahan anymore...zzzzzzzzzz....
time is passing so slowly today..........
argh...i cannot take it le...feels so horrid to be sick....someone save me!!!!!! listening to e winter sonata song now...i can't rem who sent it to me...got the reason too...i will kill whoever sent me the reason and e winter sonata song...possibilities...dan, da.....only 2 posses...but i dun think it's either of them.....................hmmmmm...i think until headache somemore...WHO can it be????????
still have a splitting headache...argh.....want to off my com le...but i promised to meet je online tonite....ouch..but no choice. i'll try to bear with e headache until i cannot tahan anymore...zzzzzzzzzz....
time is passing so slowly today..........
argh...i cannot take it le...feels so horrid to be sick....someone save me!!!!!! listening to e winter sonata song now...i can't rem who sent it to me...got the reason too...i will kill whoever sent me the reason and e winter sonata song...possibilities...dan, da.....only 2 posses...but i dun think it's either of them.....................hmmmmm...i think until headache somemore...WHO can it be????????
very very sick
12.01.04 (6:28 pm) [edit]
i'm really very very sick rite now...zzz....very bad bout of flu..someone save me?? hmmmm....will coke help?? lol..my dad bought tt lemsip thing for me....but pills version...zzz...so blur...lol...but! i believe in my own immune sys...faith in myself...my powerful immune sys will kill u viruses...muahahahaha...blood will be shed!!! (actually viruses got no blood..but i'm mad)...okie...no choice...where's je?? i miss him already he's supposed to come back today...zzzz..and guess wat really cheered me up!!! neopets advent calender got free gifts and money...yea!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: i dun feel like going grad nite anymore...how?? and i'm still in need of a job..zzz
PS: i dun feel like going grad nite anymore...how?? and i'm still in need of a job..zzz