hmmm
11.30.04 (4:43 am) [edit]
y i am feeling weird (poss causes):
1. maybe coz it's a post-exam sense of existential displacement?? like used to go to sch and followed a time table...now like no guidelines to life......but isn't tt gd?? opens up doors of poss.............so okie..strike 1 out.
2. coz spending too much time with shan?? lol...sounds like a weird reason..but hey!! i've been seeing her a lot more..but tt's gd too
3. thinking tt i will feel left out in choir coz i seem to be at a liminal position with regards to choir now?? maybe...plausible
4. hmmmm...maybe e most poss one...coz Y's been smsing me everyday?? like he will just sms me to make sure tt we are in touch kinda thing?? kinda feels weird in a way...like trying too hard?? like unnatural?? yet in a way...putting in too much effort sometimes makes things strained and fake in a way...like how he's being chummy with this fren so tt we can all go out together?? in a way............i dunno wat he wants as in Y....and i wonder if i want to find out. perhaps i dun, selfishly dun...coz i dun feel like explaining so much to him...i guess tt i just want us to go back to our old natural ways.....not trying too hard...going by feel...and just being contented with being special frens and thining tt things won't change.
tt brought me to realise one thing...y me and da seem closer now...coz i stopped trying...ironically yes. sometimes......when one party or both parties try too hard...often e result seems fake, arranged, unnatural and discomforting at times..........thinking back...maybe u will realise tt ur fav moments from a r/s are when 2 ppl are just so comfortable with each other...if u ask me which is e memory i rem most and cherish e most from corn...it was when we ran into each other at e staircase like almost banged into each other...and we just stood there motionless not knowing wat to do...it was like a moment of loss, no pretense no nothing...a moment of why were we stunned there by each other...when i think abt da it was e moment when he will just offer me his food or drink or something...a very comfy and cosy feeling bahz....thinking back to qi, ting, shan it was when we all just sat at e merlion area at esplanade and looked at e sea...of je e period at chiangmai...when we will just say gd morning to each other............
very simple rite?? i'm a person who goes for simple things i guess.....trying too hard just complicates things and i dun want things to be complicated bahz...i like e unassuming feeling me and Y has...it's a very comfy and cosy feeling in a way....not exactly a romantic feeling nor a frenly feeling...just a comfy feeling...a comfy feeling in a liminal zone...and i think tt rox. =) but i'm sure we'll go back to tt feeling....i'm certain.
1. maybe coz it's a post-exam sense of existential displacement?? like used to go to sch and followed a time table...now like no guidelines to life......but isn't tt gd?? opens up doors of poss.............so okie..strike 1 out.
2. coz spending too much time with shan?? lol...sounds like a weird reason..but hey!! i've been seeing her a lot more..but tt's gd too
3. thinking tt i will feel left out in choir coz i seem to be at a liminal position with regards to choir now?? maybe...plausible
4. hmmmm...maybe e most poss one...coz Y's been smsing me everyday?? like he will just sms me to make sure tt we are in touch kinda thing?? kinda feels weird in a way...like trying too hard?? like unnatural?? yet in a way...putting in too much effort sometimes makes things strained and fake in a way...like how he's being chummy with this fren so tt we can all go out together?? in a way............i dunno wat he wants as in Y....and i wonder if i want to find out. perhaps i dun, selfishly dun...coz i dun feel like explaining so much to him...i guess tt i just want us to go back to our old natural ways.....not trying too hard...going by feel...and just being contented with being special frens and thining tt things won't change.
tt brought me to realise one thing...y me and da seem closer now...coz i stopped trying...ironically yes. sometimes......when one party or both parties try too hard...often e result seems fake, arranged, unnatural and discomforting at times..........thinking back...maybe u will realise tt ur fav moments from a r/s are when 2 ppl are just so comfortable with each other...if u ask me which is e memory i rem most and cherish e most from corn...it was when we ran into each other at e staircase like almost banged into each other...and we just stood there motionless not knowing wat to do...it was like a moment of loss, no pretense no nothing...a moment of why were we stunned there by each other...when i think abt da it was e moment when he will just offer me his food or drink or something...a very comfy and cosy feeling bahz....thinking back to qi, ting, shan it was when we all just sat at e merlion area at esplanade and looked at e sea...of je e period at chiangmai...when we will just say gd morning to each other............
very simple rite?? i'm a person who goes for simple things i guess.....trying too hard just complicates things and i dun want things to be complicated bahz...i like e unassuming feeling me and Y has...it's a very comfy and cosy feeling in a way....not exactly a romantic feeling nor a frenly feeling...just a comfy feeling...a comfy feeling in a liminal zone...and i think tt rox. =) but i'm sure we'll go back to tt feeling....i'm certain.
hmmm
11.28.04 (5:38 am) [edit]
i watched a nice movie just now...gan chai lei huo...e msg of e movie is quite true....sparks dun last forever, whilst a comfy feeling does...maybe tt explains divorces. anyway rite now...my life is quite sparkless in e romance dept..lol...in e dept of comfy-feelings...like hmmmm........no particularly very special feeling ahz...
lol...haven't spoken to je for so long...and now tt he's online..and my com's fixed..his bro wants to use..and he's going indonesia tmr..zzz....and lol...i just told da abt how i haven't spoken to je for so long and he's disappearing tmr...and da asked if je's my crush...weird world....lol....i just made a very nice comment to da...to me...ppl who are different are always special....like rubz, je, da, alot of my classmates...yupz...von too...these are pple whom i will nvr forget coz they are damn distinct...of coz got negative cases too..like lk, goldfish...lol...but they still have a place in my memory nonetheless
real nice talking to da...lol...qi and cw cannot send me files....then i tot my pc's prob or something...BUT...da and dan can send me ahz...maybe only pple whose names start with da can send me things...pple with wei in their names cannot send me things....lalala...nice logic..i'm loving it. *breaks into mac's i'm loving it song* tt's e power of gd or rather irritating advertising...they stick things in ur head...if rahel is here...she wld say tt ronald mac opens up e brains of children and stick in a song...and she will be sure tt he lives in e History house where ppl's dreams are redreamed...lol!!!!!!! okie...lit's over...but i think GOST is cool...lalala...coz it's over...so not torturing ahz
and i realised tt things do work in weird ways...so many ppl have burnt cds for me...today i realised tt i cldn't copy them into my pc...all except for one...e vege one...which i nvr cld play in e past with e cd player...with a laptop...all cannot...yet today.........i cld play it ahze one with anatasia and some chi song...not e 'kit prob likes them'cd...things in this world just have their own strange logic...like how my pc's audio is fine now tt i dun have much music...like how i realised thru mother teresa's words tt often e poor are more giving than e rich coz they will give u their everything with less hesitation...like how autumn must end when winter begins..like how sparks die down but some feelings remain forever.........
oh well...no choice........
and i miss my class...bleahz....
plus, i dun feel like going gradnite anymore...wat's e pt if most ppl u noe ain't going...no mood....bleahz
lol...haven't spoken to je for so long...and now tt he's online..and my com's fixed..his bro wants to use..and he's going indonesia tmr..zzz....and lol...i just told da abt how i haven't spoken to je for so long and he's disappearing tmr...and da asked if je's my crush...weird world....lol....i just made a very nice comment to da...to me...ppl who are different are always special....like rubz, je, da, alot of my classmates...yupz...von too...these are pple whom i will nvr forget coz they are damn distinct...of coz got negative cases too..like lk, goldfish...lol...but they still have a place in my memory nonetheless
real nice talking to da...lol...qi and cw cannot send me files....then i tot my pc's prob or something...BUT...da and dan can send me ahz...maybe only pple whose names start with da can send me things...pple with wei in their names cannot send me things....lalala...nice logic..i'm loving it. *breaks into mac's i'm loving it song* tt's e power of gd or rather irritating advertising...they stick things in ur head...if rahel is here...she wld say tt ronald mac opens up e brains of children and stick in a song...and she will be sure tt he lives in e History house where ppl's dreams are redreamed...lol!!!!!!! okie...lit's over...but i think GOST is cool...lalala...coz it's over...so not torturing ahz
and i realised tt things do work in weird ways...so many ppl have burnt cds for me...today i realised tt i cldn't copy them into my pc...all except for one...e vege one...which i nvr cld play in e past with e cd player...with a laptop...all cannot...yet today.........i cld play it ahze one with anatasia and some chi song...not e 'kit prob likes them'cd...things in this world just have their own strange logic...like how my pc's audio is fine now tt i dun have much music...like how i realised thru mother teresa's words tt often e poor are more giving than e rich coz they will give u their everything with less hesitation...like how autumn must end when winter begins..like how sparks die down but some feelings remain forever.........
oh well...no choice........
and i miss my class...bleahz....
plus, i dun feel like going gradnite anymore...wat's e pt if most ppl u noe ain't going...no mood....bleahz
finally back
11.27.04 (2:33 am) [edit]
finally back...and i plan to see this as a new lease of life for me..heez...yuppiez...forget e old memories and forge new experiences! yea!! even my sound sys is working again...windows XP...although i lose all my old files and mp3s...strangely i dun really feel e pinch...LOL...yuppiez..so i'm back...and better than ever...and happier than ever! yea!
hmmm
11.07.04 (7:03 pm) [edit]
i realised tt i haven't been updating as freq these days...oh well...lazy and nothing much interesting happening anyway......
firstly. my mom's back..ever so happy to see her......heez...and she's proud of me and my efforts in cooking and laundry...like hello?? i'm trying...LOL...but obviously.....it's great tt she's back..missed her...plus! e bonus is no more laundry for me.=)
me and da...nothing much to talk really...since he censors so much..think i forgot how to talk to him.......so yah....leave everything to fate bahz...dun like tt tt much anymore..of coz still like him lahz......but less.......and tt's a gd start...i wld like him as a gd fren...tt wld rock my life...
okie..another piece of gd news...e JE i knew is kinda back...heez.....missed tt JE i knew....just rox to have ur frens e way u rem them to be like....close in ur hearts..wld be better if JE does well for his exams....hear this??? LOL
well......i hope tt sam will understand herself better too..be more optimistic gal!! LOL....i'm sure tt sam will noe wat to do soon...it'll just dawn on her..LOL...coz.....i'm optimistic!!
okie......i also found out e most surprising thing abt my bro, justin......he actually has a family biz tt manufactures towels and glassware and stuff...does 85% of exports to asian countries......WELL..firstly, it looks nice on paper..but i doubt e total exports is much since they export to developing ctrys tt prob manuf their own towels and glassware and stuff..LOL...BUT....e pt is not how much they make...e pt is deja vu......i use their towels..LOL..at least my mom does..she always buys a lot of it...zzz.....LOL
okie..SUPER gd news.....i finished micro econs, i finished everything for human geog except half of tourism, i finished coast too......LOL......i just have to start on lit?? and more of phy geog......and cure my headache now
BAD news...i'm having a headache now.......coz i'm toothing....and tt affects my brain by giving it a headache...LOL..toothing like wisdom teeth?? i have 2 le...growing third one...prob is this one more itchy since e top has a tooth pressing on it...cannot even close my jaws...gap betwn my 2 sets of teeth..but can close mouth..i not goldfish...zzzzzzzz
firstly. my mom's back..ever so happy to see her......heez...and she's proud of me and my efforts in cooking and laundry...like hello?? i'm trying...LOL...but obviously.....it's great tt she's back..missed her...plus! e bonus is no more laundry for me.=)
me and da...nothing much to talk really...since he censors so much..think i forgot how to talk to him.......so yah....leave everything to fate bahz...dun like tt tt much anymore..of coz still like him lahz......but less.......and tt's a gd start...i wld like him as a gd fren...tt wld rock my life...
okie..another piece of gd news...e JE i knew is kinda back...heez.....missed tt JE i knew....just rox to have ur frens e way u rem them to be like....close in ur hearts..wld be better if JE does well for his exams....hear this??? LOL
well......i hope tt sam will understand herself better too..be more optimistic gal!! LOL....i'm sure tt sam will noe wat to do soon...it'll just dawn on her..LOL...coz.....i'm optimistic!!
okie......i also found out e most surprising thing abt my bro, justin......he actually has a family biz tt manufactures towels and glassware and stuff...does 85% of exports to asian countries......WELL..firstly, it looks nice on paper..but i doubt e total exports is much since they export to developing ctrys tt prob manuf their own towels and glassware and stuff..LOL...BUT....e pt is not how much they make...e pt is deja vu......i use their towels..LOL..at least my mom does..she always buys a lot of it...zzz.....LOL
okie..SUPER gd news.....i finished micro econs, i finished everything for human geog except half of tourism, i finished coast too......LOL......i just have to start on lit?? and more of phy geog......and cure my headache now
BAD news...i'm having a headache now.......coz i'm toothing....and tt affects my brain by giving it a headache...LOL..toothing like wisdom teeth?? i have 2 le...growing third one...prob is this one more itchy since e top has a tooth pressing on it...cannot even close my jaws...gap betwn my 2 sets of teeth..but can close mouth..i not goldfish...zzzzzzzz
heez
11.05.04 (10:41 pm) [edit]
i'm lucky..and special...coz i have e gift of laughter..=)
and laffing makes me happy.
currently as i sit here......i wonder if JE is eons away from me...in terms of psychological dist..just feel tt i dunno him any longer........he's still e same joker...nvr finish qns for exams-JE...but....something's just diff...everytime i say he's changed..he will rep 'learn from u one'....i wonder if i sense some bitterness in him...his comments getting more sacrastic and i may go as far as to say caustic...ppl change...i guess tt i'll just have to get used to this new JE bahz...
nowadays sometimes dun feel like talking on msn esp at nite...sometimes just want some peace and quiet to myself...some time being alone with me. =)...it feels nice...being alone with myself..it made me realise tt i'm special and always will be...and tt i wld love to befriend myself...if i was given a choice to choose a different personality..i wld turn it down...coz i have abit of everything in myself really.....and they pretty much work in my advantage....i love myself whether it is tt happy bouncy me cracking stupid jokes and laffing over nothing or tt quiet brooding me thinking abt life.....i love both sides of me.....
talking to Y rox...he always makes me believe in myself...makes me think tt i really am e best...he always highlights all e gd things abt me as if i am flawless....i realised tt i wld love to have Y as a bro....it's e most comfy r/s we can forge...w/o compromising any of our beliefs, values or interests...i dun like e Y tt will watch a chi serial and rush to tell me...neither do i like e kit who keeps bumping into walls. this is gd.let it continue this way.
i'm starting to study more today...tt's gd....i wrote a to-do list and i'm halfway thru...thanks to God-given strength...i want to be e best...coz 'the most disgraceful thing one can do is to give up, coz she is effectively giving up on herself'....translated from e 9pm tv show.....i won't give up on myself.....no matter wat..i came to pj as e best they have in e arts fac...and i will leave as e best. i won't settle for 2nd best next to some murali...not academic wise at least....i want to make a speech of balancing leadership and studies....i want to be who i am capable of being...and not who i am comfortable of being w/o changing anything......so!! i'm gonna study. =)
and laffing makes me happy.
currently as i sit here......i wonder if JE is eons away from me...in terms of psychological dist..just feel tt i dunno him any longer........he's still e same joker...nvr finish qns for exams-JE...but....something's just diff...everytime i say he's changed..he will rep 'learn from u one'....i wonder if i sense some bitterness in him...his comments getting more sacrastic and i may go as far as to say caustic...ppl change...i guess tt i'll just have to get used to this new JE bahz...
nowadays sometimes dun feel like talking on msn esp at nite...sometimes just want some peace and quiet to myself...some time being alone with me. =)...it feels nice...being alone with myself..it made me realise tt i'm special and always will be...and tt i wld love to befriend myself...if i was given a choice to choose a different personality..i wld turn it down...coz i have abit of everything in myself really.....and they pretty much work in my advantage....i love myself whether it is tt happy bouncy me cracking stupid jokes and laffing over nothing or tt quiet brooding me thinking abt life.....i love both sides of me.....
talking to Y rox...he always makes me believe in myself...makes me think tt i really am e best...he always highlights all e gd things abt me as if i am flawless....i realised tt i wld love to have Y as a bro....it's e most comfy r/s we can forge...w/o compromising any of our beliefs, values or interests...i dun like e Y tt will watch a chi serial and rush to tell me...neither do i like e kit who keeps bumping into walls. this is gd.let it continue this way.
i'm starting to study more today...tt's gd....i wrote a to-do list and i'm halfway thru...thanks to God-given strength...i want to be e best...coz 'the most disgraceful thing one can do is to give up, coz she is effectively giving up on herself'....translated from e 9pm tv show.....i won't give up on myself.....no matter wat..i came to pj as e best they have in e arts fac...and i will leave as e best. i won't settle for 2nd best next to some murali...not academic wise at least....i want to make a speech of balancing leadership and studies....i want to be who i am capable of being...and not who i am comfortable of being w/o changing anything......so!! i'm gonna study. =)
hmmm
11.05.04 (5:35 am) [edit]
feel like i haven't updated for eons...but at most few days bahz..LOL....well..i wonder wat really is for me...my interests and abilities are so diverse i dunno wat to specialize in and this world speaks of developing on comparative advantages...wat's mine?? suddenly i feel like doing philo..must have been e quotes and e awfully philo nature of e GP exam......i considered econs and realised tt i wld be one of e throngs of econs grads.. although econs is interesting...i realised tt i am different...special in a way..just not ur conventional student..i realised tt thru my GP essay.
just now cw told me abt how he is sick of giving and not getting anything back in return...tt made me think of myself...everynite i sit by e window with e chiling nite breeze and gaze up into e sky......everynite i nvr fail to look into e sky and wonder how corn's doing. everynite. then i wld look into e sky and pray for corn's happiness and nowadays, i pray for Y's too. i pray for their happiness coz i can't give them their happiness..so i can only do wat lil i can for them...cw told me he cldn't tell v to go for khim...well....i tot of how i time and again ask corn to faster get married. not coz i secretly wished for anything for myself...but coz i wished for his happiness. then one day i stopped. coz i realised tt perhaps he won't be happy with his marriage..wat if. so all i ask of him now is tt he be happy. i'm willing to give and give and give and ask for nothing to return. and in fact, i dun expect of want anything in return..coz i dun want to burden him with having to give me anything neither do i want him to feel like he owes me. perhaps i haven't been hurt enuf.....cw, Y, da they're all so afraid to give in a way..esp Y......he can only tell me abt how he doesn't believe in getting attached anymore...abt how e gals nvr loved him. perhaps, he nvr loved them. but i nvr told him tt i think tt lahz...all his ex so far asked him to be with them...he nvr asked...he nvr loved, he merely assessed them as a judge wld and decide okie. perhaps at e end of e day they initiated e breaks coz they felt he nvr loved.
today, i mentioned tt ppl dunnit to get attached to have an exclusive and special r/s.....i tot of me and Y and me and corn when i said tt......but there's a fundamental diff...i noe tt when corn gets married i will cry..from both happiness and sadness happiness for him and sadness for e fullstop it wld signify.........but if Y get attached...i'll be genuinely happy for him coz he overcame his psychological obstacle...maybe i may feel slightly jealous and tease him abit..but i guess tt my love for him is more of a sisterly thing bahz.....
i realised tt i wld climb a mt for corn if i had to. but i wldn't climb tt same mt for anyone else. just tt e degree of feelings is diff bahz. maybe one day i will love someone just as much. waiting for tt day to come. =)
just now cw told me abt how he is sick of giving and not getting anything back in return...tt made me think of myself...everynite i sit by e window with e chiling nite breeze and gaze up into e sky......everynite i nvr fail to look into e sky and wonder how corn's doing. everynite. then i wld look into e sky and pray for corn's happiness and nowadays, i pray for Y's too. i pray for their happiness coz i can't give them their happiness..so i can only do wat lil i can for them...cw told me he cldn't tell v to go for khim...well....i tot of how i time and again ask corn to faster get married. not coz i secretly wished for anything for myself...but coz i wished for his happiness. then one day i stopped. coz i realised tt perhaps he won't be happy with his marriage..wat if. so all i ask of him now is tt he be happy. i'm willing to give and give and give and ask for nothing to return. and in fact, i dun expect of want anything in return..coz i dun want to burden him with having to give me anything neither do i want him to feel like he owes me. perhaps i haven't been hurt enuf.....cw, Y, da they're all so afraid to give in a way..esp Y......he can only tell me abt how he doesn't believe in getting attached anymore...abt how e gals nvr loved him. perhaps, he nvr loved them. but i nvr told him tt i think tt lahz...all his ex so far asked him to be with them...he nvr asked...he nvr loved, he merely assessed them as a judge wld and decide okie. perhaps at e end of e day they initiated e breaks coz they felt he nvr loved.
today, i mentioned tt ppl dunnit to get attached to have an exclusive and special r/s.....i tot of me and Y and me and corn when i said tt......but there's a fundamental diff...i noe tt when corn gets married i will cry..from both happiness and sadness happiness for him and sadness for e fullstop it wld signify.........but if Y get attached...i'll be genuinely happy for him coz he overcame his psychological obstacle...maybe i may feel slightly jealous and tease him abit..but i guess tt my love for him is more of a sisterly thing bahz.....
i realised tt i wld climb a mt for corn if i had to. but i wldn't climb tt same mt for anyone else. just tt e degree of feelings is diff bahz. maybe one day i will love someone just as much. waiting for tt day to come. =)
phew
11.03.04 (3:57 am) [edit]
woah..i was so sick this afternoon and last nite......keep sneezing...wear jacket also feel cold...dunno y.....at least now okie le...just tt still abit sleepy???? dunno y...today is sleepy day. zzz well......my GP is SO well-prep..LOL!!!! okie lahz...i read quotes online...let me share some with u:
there's one by aristotle:
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion and desire.
Shakespeare: strong reasons make strong actions
Jameson Frank: Our greatest battles are that with our own minds (can't agree more with tt!! i battle everyday manz)
George Bernard Shaw: You see things; and you say 'Why?'; But i dream things that never were; and i say 'Why not?' (really cool too....tt's how things get invented and ppl break out of their comfort zones)
Mark Twain: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of fight in the dog. (heez...)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not the absence of fear
Thomas Edison: If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.
Martin Luther King: The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stand at times of challenge and controversy (can't agree more manz)
Josh Billings: Consider the postage stamps: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there (not my forte manz)
T.S. Elliot: If you haven't the strength to impose your terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers u
and i REALLY like this one: Friedrich Nietzsche (but hard to rem his name to write tmr) 'What does not destroy me can only make me stronger'
Something encouraging: Walt Disney: All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them
J. Petit-Senn True courage is like a kite; a big wind raises it higher
Adam McCord: Courage is when you stare your worst fear or toughest obstacle in the face and beat it.
Something philo by Joseph Addison: Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
Something nice by Raplh Waldo Emerson: What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
Something i definitely hope is true...William Jennings Bryan: Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
tt's abt it.....not yet mem anything...zzzzz....GP.....hope i get a distinction...at least tt opens up e law fac...even if i dun choose it...at least i have tt option..;)
there's one by aristotle:
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion and desire.
Shakespeare: strong reasons make strong actions
Jameson Frank: Our greatest battles are that with our own minds (can't agree more with tt!! i battle everyday manz)
George Bernard Shaw: You see things; and you say 'Why?'; But i dream things that never were; and i say 'Why not?' (really cool too....tt's how things get invented and ppl break out of their comfort zones)
Mark Twain: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of fight in the dog. (heez...)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not the absence of fear
Thomas Edison: If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.
Martin Luther King: The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stand at times of challenge and controversy (can't agree more manz)
Josh Billings: Consider the postage stamps: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there (not my forte manz)
T.S. Elliot: If you haven't the strength to impose your terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers u
and i REALLY like this one: Friedrich Nietzsche (but hard to rem his name to write tmr) 'What does not destroy me can only make me stronger'
Something encouraging: Walt Disney: All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them
J. Petit-Senn True courage is like a kite; a big wind raises it higher
Adam McCord: Courage is when you stare your worst fear or toughest obstacle in the face and beat it.
Something philo by Joseph Addison: Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
Something nice by Raplh Waldo Emerson: What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
Something i definitely hope is true...William Jennings Bryan: Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
tt's abt it.....not yet mem anything...zzzzz....GP.....hope i get a distinction...at least tt opens up e law fac...even if i dun choose it...at least i have tt option..;)
hmmm
11.01.04 (7:15 pm) [edit]
on msn...someone (someone who happens to be on my list but i dunno who...) has an interesting nick: 'It's never easy to understand why memories hold our hands, but people let it go'......
been talking to ming and sam these days...well....everyone has their own principles...beliefs etc....and we can only live our lives by those beliefs...whether they lead us to happiness or sadness....at least we stuck by them....sam&ming sam&ming sam&ming...even e names sound nice toghether..LOL.....i guess tt life really is as complicated or as simple as u want it to be....like if two ppl love each other...isn't it gd to be together?? but when u factor in things like fear, insecurity etc......ppl just forget to live for e moment......
i asked ting last nite...wat will she do if her bf breaks with her...she said dunno..see how......in contrast....ting thinks too lil..LOL..but isn't tt gd in a way....things are a lot simplier then.....even as an onlooker i think more than ting lorz...i will think abt wat if they get married..unlikely tt e guy can support e family by himself...unlikely tt they will be able to afford a house anytime before 30 even if they pool all their money together and work real hard..etc......then i realised tt ting wld nvr think abt all these.....coz she lives for e moment.....even if they break...tt's in e future and let e future take care of itself.....
talking to sam and ming made me think abt rebounds too......there are ppl who truly live a life of rebounds..until at e end of e day....they realised tt they only loved once....e 1st.....e rest were just a transfer of feelings......i guess tt so far.....i am one of these ppl....i realised tt i have a very simple wish.....i just want someone who will hug me really tightly and ask me to forget corn and love him wholeheartedly......in my quest of finding such a person.....i tried to seek e most perfect ppl....guys tt no gal will say no to.....tt it will be unthinkable if i were to say tt i still prefer corn.......
but i failed. when i had problems......i wld tell it to so many ppl....yet only one can influence me and console me and rejoice with me e way corn can. yet.....i nvr think simply......and hence, i give up on a r/s tt i can only reach a dead end....i try to tell myself tt i shld be studying now.....but i can't.....i've frankly only studied once in my life...and tt was for 'O's......tt was not for myself......tt was for corn.....i nvr learnt how to study for studying sake.....hence, i nvr can study......i dun wish to live thru life with intelligence alone...i want to put in a fair bit of hard work......but i can't.
there are many things which i just cannot do...my only motivation now is to get to uni....live a life i want......meet someone whom i really love....finish sch, get a job i love.....and after tt......when e dust settles......i will ask myself again.....wat do i do from there.
been talking to ming and sam these days...well....everyone has their own principles...beliefs etc....and we can only live our lives by those beliefs...whether they lead us to happiness or sadness....at least we stuck by them....sam&ming sam&ming sam&ming...even e names sound nice toghether..LOL.....i guess tt life really is as complicated or as simple as u want it to be....like if two ppl love each other...isn't it gd to be together?? but when u factor in things like fear, insecurity etc......ppl just forget to live for e moment......
i asked ting last nite...wat will she do if her bf breaks with her...she said dunno..see how......in contrast....ting thinks too lil..LOL..but isn't tt gd in a way....things are a lot simplier then.....even as an onlooker i think more than ting lorz...i will think abt wat if they get married..unlikely tt e guy can support e family by himself...unlikely tt they will be able to afford a house anytime before 30 even if they pool all their money together and work real hard..etc......then i realised tt ting wld nvr think abt all these.....coz she lives for e moment.....even if they break...tt's in e future and let e future take care of itself.....
talking to sam and ming made me think abt rebounds too......there are ppl who truly live a life of rebounds..until at e end of e day....they realised tt they only loved once....e 1st.....e rest were just a transfer of feelings......i guess tt so far.....i am one of these ppl....i realised tt i have a very simple wish.....i just want someone who will hug me really tightly and ask me to forget corn and love him wholeheartedly......in my quest of finding such a person.....i tried to seek e most perfect ppl....guys tt no gal will say no to.....tt it will be unthinkable if i were to say tt i still prefer corn.......
but i failed. when i had problems......i wld tell it to so many ppl....yet only one can influence me and console me and rejoice with me e way corn can. yet.....i nvr think simply......and hence, i give up on a r/s tt i can only reach a dead end....i try to tell myself tt i shld be studying now.....but i can't.....i've frankly only studied once in my life...and tt was for 'O's......tt was not for myself......tt was for corn.....i nvr learnt how to study for studying sake.....hence, i nvr can study......i dun wish to live thru life with intelligence alone...i want to put in a fair bit of hard work......but i can't.
there are many things which i just cannot do...my only motivation now is to get to uni....live a life i want......meet someone whom i really love....finish sch, get a job i love.....and after tt......when e dust settles......i will ask myself again.....wat do i do from there.